What do people who work in shops actually do all day? Not big shops or supermarkets, because those people are obviously kept busy selling things. But small shops, little shops, boutiques, bijou craft hideaways, that sort of place. What do people who work in those shops do all day? Because most of the time they're not selling anything at all. They must be bored out of their skulls.
You know the sort of place I mean. There are quiet shops on every high street. Curtain specialists, purveyors of ladieswear, mobile phone merchants, letting agents, conservatory showrooms, that sort of thing. The sort of shop you never ever see anyone go into, although someone must occasionally or they'd go out of business. Places that hire power tools, or sell children's clothes, or flog insurance, or trade in peculiar arty ceramic objects, those sort of places. Shops that have to stay open in case anybody ever visits, but 90% of the time nobody bothers.
The boredom's at its worst in suburbia. There are far more superfluous outlets in the suburbs, those little dens of charm attempting to lure inside bored housewives (and househusbands) (but mostly housewives). Why not pop in and buy some embroidered bedlinen, or an organic crystal, or a wrought iron lampshade, or some other useless homely trinket? Suburban daytime residents have more time to waste, and more money to waste, so even the occasional sale can be profitable for the shopkeeper. Best they bide their time patiently just in case.
Peer in through the window of any quiet shop and there'll be somebody sat at the counter waiting. It's their job to be there, so they get paid to wait. Occasionally a would-be customer will arrive, or maybe ring up, and the shopkeeper can engage in business and sound excited and provide top quality service. But the majority of their working day they're not working at all, they're just hanging around on the off chance, because any minute now a major sale might walk in through the door. How incredibly tedious.
So how do these shopkeepers keep themselves amused and awake? Looking wistfully out of the window presumably gets really boring after the fourth hour. There's only so much stocktaking they can do. Maybe a good book keeps them occupied, or a long flick through the newspaper, or a slowly-completed crossword. Perhaps they sit online and read blogs, or update Facebook, or battle in eBay auctions. Or maybe they just pray very quietly beneath their breath that somebody, sometime, will step in and spend some money. Whatever they do, it can't be a very fulfilling use of their time.
So I salute the very small shopkeepers of Britain. They waste several hours a day so that we can wander in whenever we like and potter around and maybe buy something or maybe not. It's through their monotonous uneventful self sacrifice that the economy of our nation ticks over. I couldn't do their job, because I'm rubbish at regular enforced inactivity. But if that's what you do all day, well done. And do tell us the secret of how you stay awake.
You know the sort of place I mean. There are quiet shops on every high street. Curtain specialists, purveyors of ladieswear, mobile phone merchants, letting agents, conservatory showrooms, that sort of thing. The sort of shop you never ever see anyone go into, although someone must occasionally or they'd go out of business. Places that hire power tools, or sell children's clothes, or flog insurance, or trade in peculiar arty ceramic objects, those sort of places. Shops that have to stay open in case anybody ever visits, but 90% of the time nobody bothers.
Peer in through the window of any quiet shop and there'll be somebody sat at the counter waiting. It's their job to be there, so they get paid to wait. Occasionally a would-be customer will arrive, or maybe ring up, and the shopkeeper can engage in business and sound excited and provide top quality service. But the majority of their working day they're not working at all, they're just hanging around on the off chance, because any minute now a major sale might walk in through the door. How incredibly tedious.
