Well, what else would you call an Underground ornithological photographic contest? It was announced yesterday that TfL have got together with the RSPB to organise a prize photo competition, and they're hoping very much that you'll take part.
Not the two most convincing reasons for running a photographic competition about birds, it has to be said. But who cares when there are freebies on offer, and all you have to do is go snap some feathered creatures.
The competition's rules clearly allow for a wide variety of birdy photos. The pelicans in St James's Park, a nightingale in Berkeley Square, a sparrow in Cockfosters, even the flamingos in London Zoo. Oh hang on, not the latter, because London Zoo's well over five minutes walk from any tube station. Entrants need to pick their spot carefully or they'll be disqualified. For example, I can't enter this seemingly perfect photograph of pigeons on the District line because it was taken aboard a moving train midway between Richmond and Kew Gardens, and therefore more than five minutes walk from each.
Maybe we should take a closer look at this competition's terms and conditions...
By submitting a photograph which you have taken which relates to bird(s) and which you took within five minutes walk from a London Underground Tube station to the 'LU-RSPB Mind the Bird' Group on Flickr accessed via www.tfl.gov.uk/mindthebird, you will be entered into the LU-RSPB photography competition.
Only Flickr users can take part, which is a bit restrictive. As for the subject of the photograph, this only has to "relate to birds", in which case it could presumably be a peacock feather, or a Reliant Robin, or even a hard boiled egg. But it's the bit about "five minutes walk" that's really worrying me. How far is five minutes walk, exactly, and is it different for a 20 year old compared to an 80 year old? More importantly, isn't this competition openly discriminating against wheelchair users? For disabled Londoners with limited mobility, the requirement "five minutes walk" is potentially both offensive and illegal.
No birds should be harmed or unduly disturbed in the process of taking photographs.
So, no shouting loudly at blue tits or firing air pistols at ducks. Mind that bird! But if you find a box of fried chicken on the pavement outside Brixton station, that's presumably fair game.
No purchase necessary.
Erm, obviously.
The prize winners may be required to participate in publicity and promotional activities.
There's no such thing as a free bird table. If you're lucky enough to win the binoculars, the free museum pass and the other goodies, you'll have to look appreciative for the media. So that's me out.
Photographs will be judged according to their originality, appropriateness and relevance to the theme of 'Birds near the Underground' and quality of photography.
That's the only mention of the competition's official theme, hidden away in Term & Condition number 17. But its crucially important to know what the judges are looking for. Not just a bird, but a hint of something tube-related. Quick, take your camera down to Goldhawk Road station, or maybe Ravenscourt Park, or even Canary Wharf, for added relevance.
But remember, the theme of the competition is 'Birds near the Underground', not 'Birds on the Underground'. Whatever you do don't take any photos of birds on the Underground. Because, as some TfL killjoy points out on the competition's Flickr page, photography on the underground is very naughty indeed...
"The Mind the Bird photo competition aims to encourage Londoners to use the Tube to discover the Capital's varied bird life - hence the criteria that photos must be be taken within a five minute walk of a station. Photography is not permitted at London Underground stations without prior permission. Information on photography permits are available at www.tfl.gov.uk/filming. In this competition, we are encouraging our customers to explore the areas surrounding Tube stations rather than snap the bird life within the station itself."
Blimey, how unfriendly is that? Is there really a ban on all photography on the Underground (unless you've bought a £30 one-month licence), or is this just some over-zealous rule-basher overstating the legal case? Suddenly this sounds like a photography competition organised by a company that doesn't like photographers. Probably safest to go shoot a starling in a park instead.
5pm update: Well that's good. The bit about photography not being permitted at London Underground stations has been edited out of the Flickr group comment. Because it is allowed. And don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
The competition's rules clearly allow for a wide variety of birdy photos. The pelicans in St James's Park, a nightingale in Berkeley Square, a sparrow in Cockfosters, even the flamingos in London Zoo. Oh hang on, not the latter, because London Zoo's well over five minutes walk from any tube station. Entrants need to pick their spot carefully or they'll be disqualified. For example, I can't enter this seemingly perfect photograph of pigeons on the District line because it was taken aboard a moving train midway between Richmond and Kew Gardens, and therefore more than five minutes walk from each.
