diamond geezer

 Monday, May 25, 2009

Exactly ten years ago today I did something I thought I'd never do. I lived together. And I have to say, I don't know how I did it.

Two delivery vans pulled up at the house that day. All my stuff went into either the spare room or the boarded loft above the garage, because it never was quite an arrangement of equals. But it was proper sharing of house and garden and stuff, proper living together, which I'd never managed before and have never managed since. Because I don't know how you do it.

Two people, one bathroom. How does that work?
"I'm just going for a shower." "But I wanted to wash my hair." "Sorry, you'll have to wait." "But I'm going out in half an hour, I need to get in the bathroom now." "Hang on, this shower's cold, there's no hot water." "Ah yes, I used it all up when I had a bath earlier..."

Two people, one TV. How does that work?
"Have you got the remote?" "Yes, course I have. Why?" "My favourite programme's just starting on the other channel." "But I'm watching this." "That's not fair, we always watch what you want to." "Can't you record it and watch it later?" "But that's not the same, and someone's bound to put the result on Twitter before I get round to watching it." "Ssh, it's just getting to the good bit..."

Two people, one fridge. How does that work?
"Where's the milk?" "I finished it off earlier." "Well, why didn't you buy some more?" "Because I don't need any milk, because I used up the last of the old bottle, didn't I?" "And what's this meat doing at the back of the fridge, it's well past its sell-by date." "I thought you liked that, I hate it, I bought it for you..."

Two people, one garden. How does that work?
"That lawn needs cutting." "There's nothing stopping you from getting the lawnmower out." "But it's not my turn." [30 minutes later] "You missed a bit..."

Two people, one weekend. How does that work?
"Lovely weather for it, what shall we do today?" "I need a coffee. Let's go somewhere that serves coffee." "But where shall we go later?" "I need some new shoes. Let's go somewhere that sells shoes." "But where shall we go later?" "The spare bedroom needs repainting. Let's go somewhere that sells magnolia emulsion." "But where shall we go later?" "Oh, I'll be too tired to go anywhere later..."

Two people, one bed. How does that work?
(well, obviously, that bit works fine. I meant for sleeping)
"Ready to turn the light off?" "I haven't quite finished this magazine article yet, and then I fancied reading the next one." "But I'm tired, and you know I can't sleep with the light on." "Go on then, but I want five minutes extra tomorrow." "Take your knee out of my back." "Only if you give me half my pillow back..."

Two people, one house. How does that work?
"I've brought you a cup of tea in bed."
(Ah yes, that's how it works)

OK, so I may not have had the best living together experience myself. But I'd rather live alone any day. How do the rest of you do it?

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream