 diamond geezer
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
20 ways to beat the tube strike
1) Get on your bike (there'll be increased traffic on the roads today and it's going to rain - what's not to enjoy?)
2) Join one of Boris's supervised cycle convoys (nanny-biking, it's the future)
3) Take the bus (which is a great way of annoying all the commuters who normally take the bus but now can't get on because you've hijacked their seat)
4) Walk to work (because it's not as far as you think) (unless it is)
5) Use Oyster Pay-as-you-go on National Rail (the one ticketing option Londoners really want introduced, and we only get it for a mere 48 hours)
6) Take the DLR instead (and hope that all the other displaced commuters in east London haven't had the same idea) (oh damn, they have)
7) Take a boat down the river (assuming you live near the Thames, that is, because the Fleet is no longer an option)
8) Share a taxi (a taxi for three can work out considerably cheaper, per person, than a single tube ticket)
9) Ask Jeeves to chauffeur you into town in the Rolls (£8 Congestion Charge? piffling small change!)
10) Become a tube driver (because, whatever the outcome of the strike, you'll either get a 5% pay increase or two shifts off work)
11) Walk into the centre of town along the empty tube tunnels (hell why not, it's dry down there and the current's switched off)
12) Work within easy walking distance of your house (it's called sustainable living, and one day it'll be the norm)
13) Work from home (that's "work" in inverted commas, most probably)
14) Take the day off (if your business doesn't offer flexible working, you may be forced to waste two days of annual leave)
15) Be unemployed (unless today's the day you have to sign on, ten miles across town, in which case bad luck)
16) Be retired (who knows, maybe they'll even give you a two-day refund on your Freedom Pass)
17) Live in South London (for two days only, all those decades of tube-free neglect are finally overturned)
18) Live somewhere, anywhere, outside London (where life always seems to carry on perfectly well even when one transport option shuts down)
19) Push Bob Crow in front of a tube train (except you can't today, obviously)
20) Walk into work, or get the bus, or find another train that's working, or something (I mean, it's not exactly the end of the world, is it?)
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