Light comedy opening at Privet Drive Swirly zoomy flight across London (including the not-entirely-convincing collapse of a London bridge) Trip to Diagon Alley (when the film's released on DVD you'll be able to freezeframe and discover where in London it is) Soppy moping lovelorn looks between various central characters Smell of nachos with (very artificial) cheese sauce wafting up from the row in front Platform 9¾ Hogwarts Express Bloke in the seat to my right falling asleep and snoring loudly New Professor drafted in for one film only (Jim Broadbent is really very good) The oldest-looking sixth formers you ever did see (especially the six foot ones) Outbreak of rampant Quidditch Ron repeatedly pulling his comedy face Bloke in the seat to my right waking with a start (and asking his wife where he is in an embarrassingly loud voice) Round-framed glasses that used to be trendy back when the series started (but now so aren't) Car chase (with big guns) across the streets of New York Plenty more scenes with dopey-eyed looks and emotional fumblings Occasional smiley chuckles, on cue, from the audience The biggest dead spider you ever did see Ron and Hermione, like, you know, finally Harry and Ron's sister, like, you know, finally Dripfed backstory (to try to explain what the hell's going on with that Voldemort bloke) Feeling that a heck of a lot of plot has been sacrificed in order to achieve a coherent narrative Bloke in the seat to my right nodding off so far that his glasses fall to the floor with a loud thump Scary stuff in an unlikely cave Daniel Radcliffe standing naked beside a stabbed horse Ohmigod - a most unexpected death! (or would have been if only it hadn't been majorly spoilered back when the book came out) Possibly the biggest film in the world this year about a school textbook The most exciting final scene in the history of cinematography Bloke to my right asking his wife to explain the plot on the way out See you back in the cinema for the next one
