I say Yes when I should have said No, because I don't want to let people down.
I say Yes because I'm the sort of person that says Yes, I go along with things, go with the flow, ride the current, because it'd be wrong to say No, I might upset someone, I hate upsetting people, I don't want them to think less of me, how could I turn them down, I might lose out next time, there might not be a next time, they might never ask me again, I don't really want to do it, I'd rather not endure what's on offer, but I daren't say that, I daren't expose my feelings to public scrutiny, I don't want to tell it like it is, I mustn't make waves, mustn't rock the boat, best I don't say No, so I say Yes instead, I'm nice like that.
I say Yes to start with and then, as it becomes more obvious that Yes wasn't the right answer, I don't feel able to say No in case it looks like failure.
If I take something on, like a project or something, not one I have to take on, but one that sounded like a good idea at the time, sometimes it doesn't seem like quite such a good idea later, there's this dawning realisation that it's not something I should be doing, there are more negatives than positives, I could end it now, I could say No, but I don't, I carry on, I keep at it, because to stop midway would be to admit defeat, to lose face, to abandon the end result, don't get me wrong, sometimes not being able to say No is a good thing, it's called resilience, it's called commitment, it's called dedication, it gets things done, it keeps the world turning, where would we be if people kept saying No all the time, but not everything's the right thing to be doing, not everything should be a matter of pride, even if the final result would have been great, sometimes getting there isn't worth the hassle, not worth all the effort expended along the way, not a good enough return on time invested, not simply to get to the end, for the sake of it, for the sake of not saying No, because it's more important to be true to yourself, it's more important to be happy.
I sleepwalk into situations where people think I've said Yes, whereas in fact all I've done is not say No.
If I'm thinking of going out with someone and they're quite nice, sort of alright, pleasant enough to be with for a short while, but deep down I know it'll never work, you know how it is, and they're keen, more keen than I am, and I should say No, I know I should say No, but they're quite fun, you know, for a bit, and we get on OK, shall we go out again next week, oh go on then, I'd rather not but I daren't say, and they'd probably be a good friend, not special but good, only I think they're hoping for more than that, we don't talk about it, I don't talk about it, they're probably taking it for granted, they're building up all these expectations, and I do nothing to puncture that, I know it's going nowhere, but they haven't worked that out yet, I'm leading them on, I ought to say something, talk from the heart, open up my emotions, end it before it escalates, mention the No option, but that might hurt, not hurt me but hurt them, and I don't want that, their hopes would be completely dashed, and so far only I know those hopes are dashed already, only I know the whole thing's doomed, but I carry on wasting my time, wasting their time, wasting our time, because they'll surely work it out eventually, deduce the fact I'm not really interested, not as interested as they are, because there's one word I can't say, don't say, won't say, I really ought to learn to say it earlier, just tell them how it is, just say No.
My life is blighted by not saying No when it's so obviously what I ought to be saying. It's not fair on me, and it's not fair on the people I don't say No to either. I should say No more often, as appropriate, when necessary.
