It's eight years since I got the keys to my flat, ready to start a brand new job in London. The toilet needed a really good scrub, the previous tenant had a letterboxful of unopened bills, and my TV reception was appalling. I loved it.
It's seven years since I was taken out to discover the joys of total Bank Holiday weekend clubbing. The music was tuneless thumping, the crowd was on a totally different planet and the temptation was ignorable. I left early.
It's six years since I had to fight off the unwanted attentions of one of my office colleagues. She was unnecessarily flirty, and mildly over-motherly, and occasionally inappropriately tactile. I believe she's still married.
It's five years since I regularly overdid my hours at work. Loads of stuff needed doing, and I thought it was essential I hung around late to do the lot. It took me a while to work out that going home was more important.
It's four years since I took a week off work to spend time with some friends who then studiously ignored me. They were too busy socialising with new mates, and I was only a temporary sideshow. I've never wasted a week's leave since.
It's three years since I packed all my work-stuff into boxes ready to change desks. I'd shifted desks several times previously, and I've shifted desks umpteen times since. I'm still not entirely sure why it's so often necessary.
It's two years since I spent the weekend with my parents - sleeping on the floor of the spare room, going out for the day to a Tudor stately home, and dining on roast beef and lemon meringue pie. Some combinations are unbeatable.
It's one year since I cleared the living room so that some painters could come round and re-magnolia it. They bish-boshed the walls, and slop-slapped the ceiling, and I brewed lots of tea. I can still see the spot they missed.
It's less than 24 hours since bosses at work announced a significant number of redundancies. I'm OK, thanks for asking, for the time being at least. But I wouldn't dare guess what might be happening in my life one year from now.
