Every now and then (and more now than then) PR folk send me emails wondering whether I might be interested in something they're promoting. No, really, they still do, even though I regularly remind regular readers never to bother. I'm not the sort of blogger who waxes lyrical about campaigns and product endorsement, because I write about what I want, not what you want. So sometimes I enjoy nothing better than publishing some of these desperate requests for publicity, but with all the brand names heartlessly deleted. And I hope it's damned frustrating for all those concerned.
Hi Diamond Geezer, We’ve recently released an <well known Apple product> application called <really rubbish name>, it is a location based activity suggestion tool that offers fun and exciting things to do in and around your area. In a bid to spread awareness about this new application and its cool features, we are looking for city centric bloggers that would be interested in experiencing the applications offerings. I noticed your blog matches most of the criteria required for taking part...
All the criteria except actually owning an iPhone, you idiot.
Dear <my email address>, I am shortly going to send you a media release about <Mexico-based environmental congress>. We hope that you find the details of interest and would like to share with your readers. (...then, six minutes later...) Organizers say planning is intense during the final 100 days leading up to the <Mexico-based environmental congress> the high-profile global forum of debate, agenda-setting and action on wilderness-related environmental issues.
100 days advance warning? In two emails? Unsubscribe me please.
Dear Diamond Geezer, Having read your blog, I thought that you might be interested in an event taking place in London tomorrow...
Stop right there. Absolutely not.
Good afternoon, I am contacting you on behalf of my client, <well-known insurance company>, to see whether or not it would be possible to get a link onto your website. I believe that visitors to your website would find a link useful as there is a great deal of related information and I feel it will sit well on your site. Would you be interested in discussing adding a potential link?
Not even for a premium. So desperately mistargeted, Alex.
Dear Sir, My name is <name> and I work for an advertising agency in London called <name>. At the moment we're driving buzz online around <alcohol-sponsored riverside bar>. We're keen to facilitate a gathering of notable London Bloggers interested in food, drink and lifestyle and would love you to come and enjoy the ambience of the <bar> and discover the story of <branded spirit>. I stumbled across your site Diamond Geezer and enjoyed browsing your inspired posts on various attractions in and around London. Your eclectic and informed outlook on London would be a great asset to our programme and in return we'd like to think we could offer you an experience that would interest you and your readers. We're going to host 2 meet-up evenings on Monday 14th & Thursday 17th September for yourself and other notable London bloggers for a chance to relax and socialise. The focus of the night will be a complimentary session with our head mixologist...
Any email which contains the phrase "driving buzz online" goes straight into my junk folder, obviously. But if you see any London blogs praising a certain brand of gin to the skies next week, this is why. [*cough*][*cough*][*cough*][*cough*][*cough*][*cough*]
So just to reiterate, if you're a social marketing guru with a product or service to pitch, please take the hint and go whore your goods elsewhere. Many thanks.
