diamond geezer

 Monday, December 07, 2009

10 reasons why global warming is obviously a myth
(so all the summit delegates gathering in Copenhagen can go home, preferably by plane)

1) Global warming was invented by scientists who don't have shares in oil companies.

2) The Earth is flat, so even if it does flood all the water will drain over the edge.

3) What's the point in switching to energy-saving lightbulbs when the Chinese government is planning umpteen new coal-fired power stations, eh? None at all.

4) It's simply not true that the planet is getting warmer. Six months ago it was t-shirt weather, but it's bloody cold today.

5) Lord Lawson, former Chancellor of the Exchequer, says it's a myth, so it obviously is.

6) There's absolutely no proof that Climate Change is real. For all we know it's just another scientific fraud like evolution.

7) Here's a table showing the average global temperature in selected years since 1998. Look, the world's actually getting colder not hotter. You can't argue with statistics, QED.
 Year  Average global 
 1998 14.50°C
 2002 14.47°C
 2004 14.43°C
 2008 14.38°C

8) A Mediterranean climate would in fact be good for the UK, because that would mean fewer people travelling abroad for their holidays by plane, which would be the single biggest reduction in CO2 emissions in British history.

9) The steam engine was invented 300 years ago, so we've been filling the atmosphere for three centuries, but the world's not dead yet.

10) What would you rather have? Comfortable living standards for the next 20 years, or sacrificing everything for the sake of some ungrateful grandchildren? Stuff Copenhagen, folks, because self-preservation rules.

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