diamond geezer

 Thursday, May 20, 2010

Out of a Rainbow [based on a not-true story]

A great rainbow arcs over Stratford.

And down onto a giant steel fence where they're attaching the last razorwire surrounding the Olympic Stadium.

It's George's last day working on the 2012 site. Just enough time to steal two of the security cameras before he goes. They'll not be missed, because nobody'll notice two less cameras out of ten thousand. He slips them into his rucksack, hidden under a hi-vis jacket, and heads home. Should get a nice little earner for these two on the scrap metal market.

George dumps the two cameras in his garage. They can go on eBay later, he thinks, along with the lead he nicked off the church roof last week. And then he opens ten cans of lager and falls comatose onto the sofa.

A sprinkling of rainbow fairydust brings the two cameras to life, because this is a children's story innit. Arms and legs grow from the silver casing, plus a mysterious pointy helmet each and some coloured splodges. These look like the sort of cartoon creatures a focus group might create, assuming they believed a boggle-eyed cyclops was somehow endearing.

George's children take the camera monsters up to their bedroom and switch them on. See the big eyes swivel. See the red lights flash. Playtime is about to begin.
Hello, I'm Wembley, the official mascot for the London 2012 Olympic Games! My name is inspired by a north London suburb where the Games were held in 1948. Now it's got a really awful pitch, and is surrounded by a trading estate where you can buy carpets. The shape of the front of my head is based on the shape of a TV screen. My eye is a camera lens, capturing everything I see as I go. There's almost nothing I like more than making new friends, and then recording everything they do to use in evidence against them. I can't wait to meet as many people as possible in 2012, and then to check them all off against a visual database of known terrorists. I hope I'll not be ticking you off, and that you'll be my friend too?

Hi, I'm Westfield, the official mascot for the London 2012 Paralympic Games! My name is inspired by a west London shopping mall close to where the Games were held in 1908. Today the One Show is filmed on the actual site, but I'm named after the shops because the BBC couldn't offer as much money in sponsorship. My eye is a camera lens, capturing everything I see as I go. In my hands there are four carrier bags - recyclable of course. I'm on a mission to be the best I can possibly be. In fact I'm completely obsessed by trying to beat my personal best, and I get really depressed if I don't come top in everything. Because there's a moral to be learnt from the Olympics, which is that only three people get prizes and the other seven billion of us are all failures.
And then suddenly the rainbow is back (even though it's night-time and that's physically impossible). Wembley and Westfield's journey is just beginning. So many adventures to have. So many fat primary-age schoolchildren to inspire. So many plush cuddly toys and souvenir baseball caps to sell. And we'll meet them again and again in the run-up to London 2012. They'll be there. You'll be there. The whole collection of mascot-related souvenirs will be there. Please buy a one-eyed snake alien. And don't laugh.


<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>


click to return to the main page


...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream