What's on my dining table? An IKEA tealight holder (minus tealight); a pencil sharpener (one of those enclosed plastic ones, half full); an ancient copy of Photoshop (circa 2002) which I borrowed, but haven't yet had the courage to upload onto my laptop (circa 2009); a red elastic band; a green elastic band; my TV remote control; my Freeview remote control; my DVD-recorder remote control; my video-recorder remote control (unused for some time); the "70% off" label from the last polo top I bought, chopped off just before I wore it; my camera; the stupidly complicated cable with five ends required to attach my camera to my laptop, only two ends of which are actually needed; another cable which used to connect something important, but I can no longer remember precisely what; a scrunched-up screenwipe; a 50p coin; a 20p coin, a 10p coin; a "Permit to Travel" ticket bought at Fishbourne, Sussex; a Lego bus; an old Pritt Stick that's lost most of its stick, but which still sort-of works on the odd occasion I actually need it; an only-slightly-eaten packet of sugar-free Polos; a London 2012 Oystercard holder (which I won't use in case I damage it); a yellow IKEA Oystercard holder (which I won't use, full stop); a ticket to go round Buckingham Palace again sometime before the end of August; a black strengthened-paper Mighty Wallet which I saw at the Design Museum and bought on impulse, but have never used because it's not capacious enough; a box of 1000 Rexel staples (no 16), to fit a tiny blue stapler I've had ever since I was a teenager; an acorn from one of Sevenoaks' seven oaks; two unfranked postage stamps, which I intend to get around to reusing one day; a C90 of songs I recorded off the radio in August 1994 (ooh, ooh, ooh, oh); an application form for the BP Portrait Award 2010; a postcard my Mum sent me from Hunstanton last year; three pads of Post-its; a box of Bryant & May matches (no longer local); two drinks mats in the shape of jigsaw pieces; a radio-controlled outdoor thermometer (which isn't working); the outside sensor for my radio-controlled outdoor thermometer (which doesn't work because the battery's flat, but the unit's rusted up, so I can't undo the screws to replace the battery); a voucher for 50p off a packet of Earl Grey teabags; a free water energy report from the energy saving trust; the official 2009/10 self assessment notice from HMRC demanding that I complete a tax return; Spiritualized tickets; a letter of apology sent to me by my local doctor's surgery (which they forgot to put a stamp on) (and so which cost me £1.30) (and so they had to apologise again); a 12 inch ruler (plastic); a portrait of me drawn on some tracing paper; a return rail ticket to Cromer; a free CD of Abigail's Party; a Green Line coach route map (circa 1967); a pencil desk tidy pot thing (containing several biros that no longer work, some unsharpened pencils, an italic pen, a screwdriver and a yellow highlighter); two rolls of sellotape; my weekend-only watch; a pile of tourist leaflets from the Shropshire area; my special Disney mug; 300 millilitres of tea.
