Here are a couple more PR-desperate emails that have winged my way recently.
Hi Diamond Geezer, My name is Elizabeth and I work as part of the Community Outreach Team for <short-break travel company>.
Community Outreach Team? That's the slimiest rebranding of a Marketing Department I've heard in ages.
I am writing to you today because we really enjoyed the post on ‘Random borough (28): Camden (part 1)’.
It's amazing how many PR types think you'll be desperately impressed if they claim to have read one of your posts. I'd be more impressed if Elizabeth had picked something relevant.
We would like to give you the opportunity to write a post about one of our products.
I'm sure you would, Elizabeth, I'm sure you would.
Here is what we propose – as with any journalist, we’d love to build a relationship with you and let you experience an award winning stage show just as any other customer would. Then we would like you to tell us the good, the bad and we hope not so much the ugly about it!
What you'd like, Elizabeth, is for me to become a drum-banging mouthpiece for your organisation in return for a free night out.
We currently have 5 pairs of tickets to see Wizard of Oz on February 9th 2011 and 3 pairs of tickets to The Lion King on March 9th 2011 . These will be distributed on a first come first served basis. If you are happy to accept our offer and see the show, all we would ask is that you write a post about your experience that includes a link to our Wizard of Oz or The Lion King page.
If you spot any London bloggers writing about their free trip to see a musical over the next few weeks, remember how their editorial independence was bought.
Thank you for your time and please get in touch. If you would like to speak to us please leave us your phone number.
I don't give contact details to spammers, Elizabeth, so I think not.
OK, who's next into my inbox?
Dear Diamond Geezer May I take the liberty of introducing <sex shop for women> as we may be able to help with any blog posts you’re writing for Valentine’s Day?
Renee thinks I'm the sort of blogger who'll be writing about pink spanking paddles and kissable lubricant come February 14th. Renee is incorrect.
<Sex shop for women> is a fabulous place for toys, games and classy lingerie with shops in both <trendy East London> and <trendy West London>. I would be delighted to invite you down for a tour of the <trendy West London> shop to show why <sex shop for women> is so different from our competitors.
It's not every day a lady in the sex trade invites me for an intimate tour of her erotic emporium. Perhaps that's just as well.
I have attached a press release and information on our events for Valentine’s Day.
No you haven't, Renee, you've forgotten to attach it. I hope some bloggers remember to turn up for your "glass of bubbly, cup cakes and a giggle".
Anybody else want to risk sending me an inept, badly-targeted marketing email? Because I'd rather you thought again.