Well, what a lot of interesting Olympic news there was yesterday. You wouldn't believe the parking restrictions there are going to be in central London next summer. Obviously it'll be far worse out east, but it's only when travel hassle hits where rich people live that journalists sit up and take notice. And then there's the Olympic wrap, which will now be draped around the perimeter of the Stadium courtesy of an American chemical giant. It seems London couldn't afford £7m, which is less than 0.1% of the Olympic budget, so my local neighbourhood gets to have a sponsored hoarding on its skyline for six months before the Games begin. It's enough to make you...
"He does go on a bit, doesn't he?"
"I know, it's always the bloody Olympics with him now, isn't it? I remember the golden days when he used to write about obscure railway branch lines and kittens, but now it's Seb Coe's bloody circus day in day out. I mean, it's not like we care. He lives on top of the bloody place so it's like bread and butter to him, whereas out where I live we're not even getting a wave of the bloody torch."
"Actually it's not quite as bad as that. I've been doing a survey."
"Seriously? Sheesh, you're as depressingly nerdy as he is. Go on, what does your survey say?"
"I've analysed his blog for the last 100 days, which is back roughly as far as Easter, and totted up how many days of posts there have been on various subjects. Totals may not add up to 100% because sometimes he writes about more than one thing, and because statistics are inaccurate like that."
diamond geezer - survey of the last 100 days
Transport - 30 days ... trains 13 days ... buses 9 days ... cycling 5 days ... canals 2 days ... cablecars 1 day The Olympics - 21 days Reporting back on London events - 13 days Local stuff (Tower Hamlets & Bow) - 13 days The rest of London - 13 days ... including 5 days on Havering Around the UK (not London) - 11 days Abroad (i.e. Iceland) - 9 days Self-referential musings - 7 days People who send PR emails are wazzocks - 5 days Other stuff (non-geographical) - 5 days Cupcakes - 1 day Kittens - 0 days
"See, I knew there was too much bloody Olympics. It's like one day in every five, which is one day too much if you ask me. And it's only going to get worse as the bloody Olympics get bloody closer. Wake me up in 2013."
"Yes, but actually he's far more tedious when it comes to transport. Three days in ten he's wittering on about public transport, the loser, like none of the rest of us actually have cars. I mean, do people still ride buses? You can almost smell the body odour as he writes."
"Well, I thought he wrote about East London more than 13% of the time. What's happening down Bow Road? Like I bloody care."
"And no kittens. I'm not coming back until there are more kittens."
...so with only 357 days to go, London holds is breath to see what impact the Games will have on our commute, our city and our future.