Hey kids, do you want to come out tonight? We know how boring these long summer nights can be, so our youth club has organised a programme of community events in the town centre to keep you fully entertained. Come on down, join the gang, and maybe we'll go for a takeaway later.
Choose from a variety of activities throughout the evening, and on into the small hours.
Fancy Dress Evening: Our theme tonight is 'Masquerade Ball'. Any fancy headgear will do, so long as your face is masked. A hoodie will do fine - you can always pick up something more fashionable as the evening progresses.
Scavenger Hunt: We've printed out a list of everyday ordinary objects, the sort of things you might find lying around anywhere, and we want to see how many you can find and bring back with you. Top prize is a 42" plasma TV, but there are laptops and new trainers for the runners-up.
Football training: This week it's spot kicks. Come and test out your penalty-taking skills against our plate glass wall.
Pass the Parcel: We're going to play this old party favourite as a full-scale widegame. First we'll find a major department store willing to sponsor all the prizes, then we'll organise a chain of players to remove all their stock one box at a time. Try not to be the one holding the unwrapped smartphone when the music stops.
Fireworks: Once it gets dark, we plan to light up the evening with a few rockets and sparklers. Health & Safety training not essential.
Assertiveness Skills Training: Have you got what it takes to survive on the streets? Can you stand firm in the face of confrontation? Join our live role play event and find out. Police involvement anticipated.
Arts and Crafts: We want to create a new downtown artwork, consisting of scattered boxes, shards of broken glass and flaming pyrotechnics. The prize for the High Street with the best display will be five minutes of primetime exposure on several TV news channels, repeated ad nauseam throughout the day.
Spin the Bottle: And if it smashes when it lands, all the better.
Baseball tournament: A nice solid baseball bat will demolish all opposition, if you've got the balls. Three strikes and they're out.
British Bulldog: You know the rules. Both sides charge at each other, the more violently the better. Anyone who gets grabbed is eliminated, and has to sit out the rest of the game. Winner takes all.
Bonfire and Barbecue: The centrepiece of any good community event is a blazing fire. Location to be confirmed, but a furniture warehouse usually goes up well. Should be a rabble-rousing finale to the night.
RSVP via Blackberry Messenger (or just follow the sound of the police helicopter).