It's been a high profile summer, which means scores of PR folk and marketeers have stumbled across this blog, then thought it a good idea to fire promotional missives at my email address. They thought wrong.
I hope you’re well. Some stats below which I hope are of interest for you.
Your ridiculous car hire survey is of no interest whatsoever, Stuart.
I’m getting in touch to let you know about a high energy Facebook challenge that <fashion company> is rolling out next week...
No. Just no.
I wondered if the following would be of interest to you blog?
"The following" is a press release about furniture, Sarah. You can guess the answer.
I hope you don’t see this email as a marketing email. I just wanted to let you know about...
It's a marketing email, Amy. Stop right there.
My name is Matilda <Surname>, social media manager at <Parasite Company>. We’ve been following your blog at <not my blog address> for a while now and your writing style is pretty great! I’m willing to bet PR agencies and Brands might find it appealing as well.
They do indeed, Matilda. But if you can't even get the name of my blog right, what hope is there?
Hi Diamond Geezer,
I hope you don't mind me getting in touch, my name is Lucinda and I work for <famous chocolate bar>. I'm getting in touch because we have LOADS of exciting news coming up and we want you to be amongst the select few to experience it first.
Only in Lucindaworld is receiving an premature press release about chocolate somehow exciting.
I would like to contact you about the Social Media company <social media company>. We are currently planning an event for the September 12th 2012 from 6pm till 8pm. We would like to ask if you would be able to lead a 30 minute workshop in which bloggers will be able to learn how to become successful on the internet.
That came out of the blue, James. Trust me, if I opened my mouth at your event, you wouldn't like what I had to say.
I came across your website and wanted to notify you about a broken link on your page in case you weren't aware of it. The link on diamondgeezer.blogspot.com/2003_10_01_archive.html which links to http://www.guernsey.net/%7Esgibbs/roman.html is no longer working. I've included a link to a useful page on Roman Numeral Date Conversion Resources that you could replace the broken link with if you're interested in updating your website. Thanks for providing a great resource!
For this, and for the other three emails you sent, and for the other ten thousand you could send, let me stop you there Jennifer.
Hello Diamond Geezer,
Hope you’re very well. My name is Ben and I’m writing on behalf of the travel guide website <travel guide website>. We noticed that you share a love of unique things to do in good old London town. We have just created a brand new infographic that features some first-hand knowledge about the top things to do in London, which we think will give your cultured, adventure-loving readers something to chitchat about.
I emailed Ben back and pointed out five errors in his "Top 12 facts" infographic, including the fact that the London Eye was much heavier (and rather shorter) than he thought, that he had the wrong price for an Oyster bus fare, that he'd made anachronistic assumptions about Thames Barrier Park, plus the usual "Big Ben" mix-up.
Thank you Diamond Geezer,
The infographic has been changed and I will personally ensure that our infographics are well resourced and of the best quality in the future. Very sorry to have wasted your time.
I'm very sorry you wasted it too, Ben.
And the rest of you marketeers too, please save your emails, because they're wasted here.