diamond geezer

 Wednesday, May 07, 2014

The latest tube strike settlement, by confirming a toothless station by station review, ensures that every ticket office will certainly close. But what will we do with them next year?

40 things to do with a vacant ticket office

1) Open a Starbucks franchise
2) Fit out as a bijou studio flat (£399,000 ono)
3) Invite a chamber quartet to play every morning and evening rush hour
4) Fill it with Amazon click and collect lockers
5) Write a different witty quotation on the glass every day
6) Open as part of a Japanese capsule hotel chain
7) Replace the glass with an iPad showing the TfL website
8) Convert to a row of cashpoints (undoubtedly Barclays)
9) Use as a prayer room for multi-faith staff and passengers
10) Lock it securely, because on-duty staff must have no place to hide
11) Open a Costa franchise
12) Write "Inspire a Generation" in magenta, to evoke the spirit of the Olympics
13) Use as a Transport Police lock-up
14) Cover the frontage with electronic advertising frames
15) Open a florist (or, in poor neighbourhoods, a food bank)
16) Open a nailbar (or, in poor neighbourhoods, a betting shop)
17) Hide a hemp farm, nobody'll notice
18) Write "Personalised customer service centre" above an arrow pointing into the ticket hall
19) Relocate the local public library
20) Stick up a jaunty poster advertising the cablecar (which is fully staffed and has two ticket offices)
21) Open a Cafe Nero franchise
22) Add hotdesks to relocate TfL employees currently taking up valuable office space in 55 Broadway
23) Sell chocolate, gum, water, fags and Red Bull
24) Dish out Time Outs on Tuesday, Stylist on Wednesday, Shortlist on Thursday and Sport on Friday
25) Hire out the space for yoga
26) Stick up a poster listing the six Visitor Information Centres where you can buy a ticket
27) Open a pop-up boutique/creperie/ginjoint/handbagshop/whatever
28) Add a mirror, so it looks like the member of staff in the ticket hall is really in the ticket office
29) Board up the windows and scrawl "97% of travellers never used this" on the plywood cover
30) Fill it with water and fish, and allow passengers to stare into the aquarium
31) Open a TfL-branded coffee franchise
32) Replace with a multi-function Oyster top-up touchpad
33) Add a chiller cabinet, and store bags of Asda Online groceries for homebound customers
34) Get some artist to cover the exterior with Art on the Underground art
35) Sell newspapers, for about a month before they go out of favour too
36) Disperse London Zoo's caged birds and small mammals, each to a different station, to boost tourism
37) Place a Tube Staff Benevolent Society charity box on the ledge outside
38) Display a digital stream of positive uplifting on-message tweets about tube modernisation
39) Add a heritage plaque: "Antiquated Victorian ticket office 1863-2015"
40) Pay someone to sit inside, answer customer queries and sell tickets

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream