On the twelfth day of Brexmas, the Daily Express promised me
Twelve foreigners fleeing,
Eleven immigrants packing,
Ten years a-booming,
Nine lords interfering,
Eight ethnics a-plotting,
Seven migrants a-swimming,
Six Remoaners a-whingeing,
Five false things,
Four cures for Alzheimers,
Three freezing blizzards,
Two Diana conspiracies,
And an instant Article Fif-tee.
Good King Vladimir looked out
On the feast of Clinton,
When the chaos lay round about
Deep and soundly beaten.
Brightly shone the gloom that night
And the fear was cruel,
When a braggard came in sight
Tweeting like a foo-el.
"Hither, Trump, and stand by me
Bring me tributes hither,
Thou and I will rule the world
'Til the weak doth wither."
Therefore, Western men, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing,
Ye who now will crush the poor
Shall doom us all, no messing.
O come, all ye faithful,
Naïve and deluded,
O come ye,
O come ye to Momentum;
Come and behold Him
Born the Seer of Islington;
O come, let us adore Him,
O come, let us fight for Him,
O come, let us restore Him,
Corbyn, the Lame.
Hark! the climate deniers sing
"Let us still burn everything,
Gas from earth and oilwells wild
Ice and glaciers all defiled!"
Joyful, all ye floodwaters rise
Join the maelstrom of the skies;
With the melting poles proclaim
"Man is surely not to blame!"
Hark! the climate deniers sing
"Let us still burn everything!"
O little Ten of Downing Street,
How oft we see thee lie.
Above May's deep and dreamless sleep
The silent Brexit goes by;
Yet in thy dark corridors sprouteth
A tangled compromise,
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are lost in thee tonight.
...and one to look forward to next year...
Deck the shelter with whitewashed windows
Fa-la-la-ll-out, la-la-la.
'Tis the season to be incinerated
Fa-la-la-ll-out, la-la-la.
Don we now our protective apparel
Fa-ll-out, fa-ll-out, la-la-la.
Madmen place us all in peril
Fa-la-la-ll-out, la-la
