diamond geezer

 Friday, February 24, 2017

Every several months we collectively giggle at the desperate folk who send me PR emails and marketing invites. Let's do that again.
Hi there,
As I'm sure you're busy, I'll try to be as brief as possible; my name is Jason and I'm a young writer looking to make a name for myself. I recently started a sports blog called <American sports blog> with a group of like-minded (young aspiring writer) friends from college and am actively looking to grow my audience. I think I can provide you with some great work and hope there is an opportunity for me to create some original work for you in a non-paid role.
Jason certainly knows how to write, because he goes on for another four paragraphs, so wasn't as brief as possible. Unfortunately his proposed subject matter failed to intersect with any of our collective interests.
The <New Restaurant> in <east London location> has opened its doors following a transformational refurbishment. Managed by <unknown chef>, the <New Restaurant>, formally known as <Better Name>, brings sophisticated al fresco dining to <east London location>, from brunch through to evening. Celebrating the area’s rich history, the <New Restaurant> offers an eclectic destination to enjoy meals throughout the day,
You can probably write this sort of rubbish in your sleep, can't you Joanne?
Hi There,
Just to let you know that I’ve created a piece entitled “<Well Known Football Team> In Numbers” which could be of interest to your readers? <Well known football team> is one of the world’s largest and greatest football teams of all time, so we thought we would delve into the achieves and check out some of the <club nickname>’s most impressive stats to date.
Oh Daisy, you know where you can stick your sponsored infographic.
Also, just because a word doesn't have a red squiggle underneath it doesn't meant it's correct.
Hi there,
I wanted to take the opportunity to get in touch with you again in case my last e-mail evaded you.
That's Jason again. Alas no, Jason, your last email didn't evade me, I simply chose to disregard it.
Hi DG,
I hope everything is well! I have been a fan of your recent blog posts. We read your blog and adore reading about your adventures in London. My name is Doug and I’m e-mailing from <Party Planners>. We work with all of the top nightclubs, bars and restaurants in London as well as providing guestlists and organising and hosting events.
If you want to talk to me about nightclub guestlists, Doug, I suspect you haven't been reading the blog at all.
Hey there,
Are you able to please update something on your website? I found a broken link on your post here - http://diamondgeezer.blogspot.com/2007/04/sixlinks.html (I know it's a few years old)
It's ten years old, Jessica. Do you know how long it would take me to check and update everything I've ever linked to in the past? Also, I'm not replacing it with a link to your crappy gaming website.
Good afternoon
My name is Cliff and as I'm sure you're busy, I'll try to be brief. I'm a young writer looking to make a name for myself. Having recently started a sports blog called <American sports blog> with a group of like-minded friends from college, I personally aspire to write about more than just sports...
Hang on, weren't you Jason last time? Or is this almost-identical email a sign that you're one of his 'like-minded friends'? Rest assured I'm still very much not interested.
Hi there,
I hope this email finds you well. New research has found that...
No it hasn't, Dean. No research quoted in a marketing email is ever as accurate as subsequent claims suggest. Also, your survey says "conducted on behalf of <car sharing app> in December 2017", which is the sound of you shooting yourself in the foot.
Dear Diamond Geezer,
Hope all is well with you. I'm the Communications Manager for a new start up called <Quite Frankly Who Cares>. Would you be interested in writing a blog post about us or mind tweeting about us on Twitter?
I know you have to try, Josh, because you're the Communications Manager, but 100% no, absolutely not.
I wanted to take a quick moment to get in touch with you again in case my last e-mail snuck past you.
Just go away, Cliff. Or maybe Jason. In fact both of you.

In fact all of you. Your repeated attempts at asking me to write about your chosen subject are never going to work. Perhaps instead you could focus your efforts on providing a service people actually want to write about?

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream