diamond geezer

 Wednesday, August 30, 2017


London's best news-copying accumulator service

★ Across London numerous underpaid graduates working for a variety of websites are busy regurgitating stories other people wrote in the hope that people will click on their version and make their bosses some money. It's great to know that the future of journalism is secure.

★ Twitter users in London have been quick to react to today's wet weather. @savannahstylist said "London my beautiful city! Rain day today!" @LeoD_513 said "I even bought an umbrella. Heck, I might even use it." @strawberrykay said "Can anyone stop the rain in London for me? I need to go home & I only washed my hair this morning." @laurencefvk said "lovely rain, purging London of men in flip flops."

This is Local London is reporting that four tiny tropical fish were dumped in 'murky' water in a broken tank on a wall in Earlsfield last week. RSPCA inspector Mike Bearman attended the scene shortly before midnight to collect the stranded fish after a passer-by spotted the abandoned tank on Garratt Lane. A printed note on a piece of plain A4 paper taped to the top of the tank read: "Please take me".

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★ Now that I'm a top London journalist I'm eagerly watching the London Fire Brigade's Latest Incidents page in case some newsworthy conflagration occurs, but so far it offers nothing better than a fire in a Bexley timber yard yesterday evening.

★ The Evening Standard has started pumping out lots and lots of online news stories as its daily edition heads to the printers. In actual news, the Elizabeth Tower was cast into darkness early this morning after lighting of its stonework and illumination behind its famous clockface were switched off during renovations. No MPs have yet expressed additional anger at this lighting travesty.

LBC and the Evening Standard finally have the news that the iconic yellow London Duck Tours will disappear from the Thames next month after losing their access point to the river. This coverage comes one day after Londonist reported the news, which they spotted on the London SE1 website, who actually broke the story a week ago, just after the announcement was made on the London Duck Tours blog.

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★ The Mayor of London has today visited the Royal Botanic Gardens Kew, in Richmond, as he encouraged community groups to apply for his £1 million Greener City Fund to help deliver more air quality improving trees, plants and green play areas in every neighbourhood. News agencies will now be scrambling to reformat the official account of his press call for media consumption.

This Is Local London has scraped a press release for news that a new care home in Sudbury Hill will be led by Angela Kamara, who has more than 25 years’ experience in the industry. “I believe that in order to be a successful home manager you need to be an excellent communicator, respectful, kind, and always willing to learn," said Angela. The home has also welcomed Samantha Neal as customer relations manager.

★ An Evening Standard reporter was watching BBC Business Live this morning, and heard the founder of a high-end London cupcake chain saying he wanted to expand in the capital but found it difficult because of rising rents. Are these the end times for affluent snacking? Truly the Cupcakecalypse is upon us!

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★ The Evening Standard has spotted that a Westminster townhouse frequented by Queen Victoria is up for sale for £19.5m. So far the accompanying news article is only 23 words long, and they don't have a photo, but we wish we could move in anyway!

★ Still waiting for some actual London news that isn't football-related. I'm sure all the journalists will be at their desks soon.

★ Time Out's blog is reporting that a Soho restaurant is giving away free portions of octopus and chorizo croquetas for the whole of this week, because OMG free food is like Londoners' favourite thing ever. See you there!

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Eagle Radio in Guildford are reporting further frustration for commuters at Waterloo after a signalling problem shut platforms 1-3 temporarily this morning. South Western Railway says all platforms are now in use, but delays of up to 10 minutes are expected until 8:30am today.

★ The Evening Standard are reporting that footballer Olivier Giroud has reiterated his lack of interest in returning to France as Arsenal enter a crucial final 48 hours of the transfer window. They have yet to publish any other London-specific news this morning, but apparently a fox fell through the ceiling of a department store in Swindon on Monday and then hid behind a rack of jeans.

★ The BBC are reporting that Prince William and Prince Harry are to visit a London memorial garden for their mother on the eve of the 20th anniversary of her death. The White Garden at Kensington Palace has been planted to mark 20 years since Princess Diana died in a car crash. The Duchess of Cambridge will join the princes on the garden tour. Let's hope the rain stops by then!

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