diamond geezer

 Friday, January 12, 2018

Meanwhile, in the London Buses Health and Safety Cubbyhole...

Earnest: It would be an excellent thing if we were to take action to reduce the number of people falling over on buses.
Jobsworth: Yes, we must introduce a new announcement every time the bus departs a bus stop.
Voiceover lady: "Please hold on, the bus is about to move"
Jobsworth: We will introduce this announcement on every London bus on the second Friday in January.
Earnest: But won't that really annoy people?
Jobsworth: It will be a foolproof method to prevent accidents on buses.
Voiceover lady: "Please hold on, the bus is about to move"
Earnest: But how will the automated system know the bus is about to start moving?
Jobsworth: It won't, we'll set this up as a kind of pre-programmed guess.
Earnest: But we already announce the number of the bus and its destination when a bus is ready to leave a bus stop.
Jobsworth: Excellent, we'll play the new announcement five seconds afterwards.
Earnest: But the bus will probably already have started moving by that point.
Jobsworth: That doesn't matter, what's important is that we play the message.
Voiceover lady: "Please hold on, the bus is about to move"
Earnest: Don't you think it's a bit stupid to warn passengers the bus is about to start moving after it's started moving?
Jobsworth: This automated message will make a positive contribution to bus safety.
Earnest: On every bus in London? After departing every bus stop?
Jobsworth: We must be seen to do something, even if it's plainly stupid.
Passengers: And insanely annoying.
Voiceover lady: "Please hold on, the bus is about to move"
Jobsworth: Safety is our number one priority. The PA announcement is a trial to improve customer safety on the bus network. Thank you for your comments, we'll take them on board.

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