The Jubilee line is 40 years old today, or at least the original section from Stanmore to Charing Cross is. Nobody wants to hear about old railways, so I've chosen to celebrate by taking a walk from Neasden to Stanmore instead. Here are 40 things I saw along the way.
1) A tipper truck mounting the pavement to make a sharp left turn into Neasden Depot. 2) An office chair and a fridge dumped beside the North Circular, absolutely nowhere near any available crossing point because pedestrians weren't an important factor in 1970s planning. 3) A pair of neighbouring Metro-land semis with six satellite dishes between them. 4) A dog defecating on a scrap of grass at the foot of Quainton Street while its owner stands in her front garden in a Sainsbury's tabard, smoking a fag. 5) On a footbridge over the River Brent (which is currently so low it could barely cover a fish), a standoff between a learner delivery driver on a black moped and a boy on a toy scooter. 6) An empty BMX track, rippling between the dandelions. 7) Pigeons landing en masse around a chunk of landscaped rock, added to make Chalkhill Park look edgy, to gobble scraps of bread thrown by a lady whose Sainsbury's carrier bag is the same colour as her sari. 8) The Brent council Fly-Tip Monitoring smart car.
9) The grim promenade that is Wembley Way, bedecked with marketing collateral for the commercial operations that now infect the area, watched over by a jet black CCTV sentinel on a pole outside the first coffee shop. 10) Newbuild balconies: 5th floor birdfeeder/windmills, 4th floor bikes/broom, 3rd floor sunlounger/blanket, 2nd floor flowerpots/towels, 1st floor lantern/football. 11) A chestnut-lined avenue whose houses include flat-roofed flats an estate agent would struggle to love, two elegant concrete courts and a row of identical brick semis behind variously-trimmed privet hedges. 12) Banner for the May Fair at the Church of the Ascension, whose start time this year is an hour earlier than when the banner was first printed, and which will feature maypole dancing, the Little Legs Dog Club and the 'hugely popular' Children's Farm. 13) Capital Ring fingerpost pointing into slightly bluebell-infested woodland. 14) Fully-enclosed footbridge carrying 'Public Footpath To The Mall', at the foot of Barn Hill beneath an oak tree (plus parakeets, plus butterflies, plus bald jogger). 15) Warped wooden sign alerting passing train drivers and engineering crews to the existence of Kingsbury Nature Area. 16) Discarded bottle of Strawberry Volvic, hot wings tub with ketchup smear, receipt from Fancy Peri Peri, peeled McDonalds Monopoly cup, small can of Pepsi Max and recyclable drinks tray.
17) Workmen still finishing off the roadway improvements along Kingsbury Road, currently moving the litter bins around but yet to even out the paving stones and de-cone the cycle lanes. 18) Pound+ Store - Mobile Repairs Unlocking & Accessories Kitchen Stuff Hardware Stationary 19) A customer of AGW Plumbing and Electrical trying to decide which yellow line to park on, thereby holding up traffic exiting the Asda car park. 20) The occasional gatepost remnant along a road where every front garden has been paved over at some point during the last 90 years. 21) Tiny Twinkles Nursery. 22) Semi-detached houses I reckon look large for London, ideal for larger families, until I realise they're pretty much the same Metro-land stock I grew up in and there were only four of us. 23) Poster for Roe Green Funfair suggesting you visit to celebrate Orthodox Easter on 28th April, because it's important to know your local demographic. 24) Shopping parade where every parking space is taken except for two empty electric charging points.
25) Sign saying 'Welcome to Harrow', beyond which blue bins suddenly appear. 26) A dozen empty milk bottles in a red plastic crate on someone's front doorstep. 27) Volkswagen with Romanian numberplate, alongside an Audi with 'Prince on board' sticker in rear window. 28) Workmen removing sandbags and green plastic barriers from a traffic island, plus those shielding the portaloo, and piling them up on the back of a truck. 29) Semi-legible electronic sign outside ex-League football ground, attempting to entice locals inside to use the Starbucks beside the club shop. 30) Motorcycle trainers in hi-vis waiting for custom in the Members Car Park. 31) We Are The Bees, This Is Our Hive (which helps explain the existence of Bumble's Family Zone, the Amber Lounge and all the orange seats in the grandstand). 32) At least 32 sets of moveable goalposts scattered across fields beneath the railway embankment, along which mostly-empty tube trains regularly shuttle.
33) A huge cluster of schoolkids by the bus stop, joshing or gabbing or downing chips or sharing headphones while watching something viral, and it's not even quarter to three yet. 34) Two dozen unused emergency vehicles parked in the yard at Bears Ambulance HQ. 35) Oddly-specific park notices, one warning against rubbish bags being 'torn apart and scattered by birds and foxes', another insistent that dogs don't jump in the pond 'as their flea medicine will kill the creatures that live there'. 36) A walled garden overflowing with wisteria, gorgeously purple but the focus of absolutely no 'gram hysteria whatsoever. 37) Just the one customer outside the Good Friends Cafe in the Bothy, polishing off a tuna melt. 38) Dad patiently leading two young offspring home from school, one with a medal around her neck. 39) Two cranes above one of the few building sites along the entire walk, squeezing a large block of luxury retirement flats into a strip of land beside the station, rather than something more commuter-friendly but less profitable. 40) Workmen doing a spot of birthday relandscaping outside the station, including unexpected benchtop chainsaw action.
