diamond geezer

 Saturday, October 05, 2019

Dear Londoners

I am writing to tell you — the readers of this blog — that I am running to be Mayor of London as an independent candidate. And I would like your vote so that we can transform this great capital — the most intricate, diverse and astonishing city on the planet, the financial centre of the world, and the cradle of our democracy — together.

I believe have the ego to bring this city together, and so have decided to disrupt the upcoming Mayoral elections in an entirely unpredictable way by unexpectedly announcing my candidature.

We need to work together to lead London through one of the most challenging times in its history, through the uncertainty of Brexit, the dangers of international terrorism and the complete absence of printed bus maps.

So many of our problems in London are blindingly obvious. You don’t need me to tell you that our housing is unaffordable, or that muggers lurk on every street corner, or that breathing our air will kill you. Instead you need someone like me to look as if I'm sorting these crises out.

The answers are not rocket science. It's obvious to me that we need to build more flats, an idea I'll be pretending nobody else has ever had. We need more police on our streets, because every candidate always says that. Our trains and buses must run more reliably, because only a fool would argue the opposite. I also intend to be the one to cut air pollution, after my predecessor spent four years proving he could not.

I pledge to say all the right things during my campaign. I promise to have impressive aspirations and spout worthy platitudes. I intend to keep everyone on side.
HOUSING
• Building lots more houses
• Refusing permission for tall buildings
• But definitely building lots more houses

POLICING
• Cutting crime through decisive action
• Persuading individuals not to be criminals
• But definitely cutting crime through decisive action

TRANSPORT
• Funding lots of shiny new services
• Supporting Londoners by refusing to put fares up
• But definitely funding lots of shiny new services

AIR POLLUTION
• Acting swiftly to cut vehicle emissions
• Doing nothing that restricts car drivers' freedoms
• But definitely acting swiftly to cut vehicle emissions
Later I will discover that much of what I thought would be easy is actually really hard. Later I will realise that some of what I assumed would be quick to solve is not within my legal remit. Along the way I will make some utterly stupid decisions, because I'm only human. I'm hoping you'll be overlooking all of this.

I also have have some really evil policies, or at least several you won't like, but I won't be revealing these until I'm safely in power and it's too late for you to stop me. Like every politician I simply have to convince you up front that I will usher in an era of positive change, then let you down relentlessly as the years go by.

Which is why I want to start a conversation with you, in fact I already have via this blog, which is more than a former MP from Cumbria has ever managed. I will also be spending the coming weeks walking through every borough in London — not campaigning, but listening and learning — indeed I have already been doing this for the last seventeen years, so up yours Rory.

Please pledge your support for a better, brighter, bolder city.

On 7th May 2020, it can only be #DGforLondon.


<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>


click to return to the main page


...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

my flickr photostream