Once upon a time, in a village far far away, a shepherd girl lived on a hillside with a flock of sheep. The shepherd girl looked after the sheep on behalf of the villagers, and the villagers got on with their busy lives.
One day the shepherd girl rushed down into the village and cried out in the market place "A wolf is coming! A wolf is coming on 29th March! "Take heed and get ready for the arrival of the wolf!"
The villagers made tentative plans for 29th March. They cut down trees to build a stronger fence around the sheepfold. They told all the foreign shepherds to go home because they wouldn't be needed any more. They bought ships to import new sheep from companies who didn't actually own any ships. And they agreed to mint a celebratory coin with "Wolf - 29th March" engraved on it, because the thought of a special coin gave them a fuzzy warm feeling inside.
But just before the wolf was due to arrive, the shepherd girl returned to the village with fresh news. "I've managed to delay the arrival of the wolf," she said. "We all needed longer to make our preparations so I've arranged for the wolf to arrive at a later date. Do not waste this additional time!"
The villagers were very angry that the wolf had not arrived. They gave the shepherd girl a good telling off and sent her to bed without any supper, then set about looking for a replacement.
In the middle of the summer the shepherd girl was replaced by a shepherd boy with hair the colour of golden wheat. "Our new shepherd boy will protect us," said the villagers, and got on with their busy lives.
One day the shepherd boy rushed down into the village and cried out in the market place "A wolf is coming! A wolf is coming on 31st October, do or die! "Take heed and get ready for the arrival of the wolf!"
The villagers made tentative plans for 31st October. They ran a £100m advertising campaign on poster sites around the market square. They introduced new paperwork for the future transference of sheep-related products. They set aside a large clearing in the woods for queues of sheep awaiting customs clearance. They tried to work out how the local herbologist would dispense her medicines in a post-wolf scenario. And they stockpiled jars of mint sauce in preparation for the famine to come.
But just before the wolf was due to arrive, the shepherd boy returned to the village with fresh news. "I've managed to broker a new deal with the wolf," he said. "Either you sign up to a transition period today or the wolf will arrive overnight and gobble up all your sheep."
The villagers were very pleased that the wolf had not yet arrived. They gave the shepherd boy a big cheer and voted him in as the chief magistrate for the next five years.
"Of course the wolf is coming eventually," said the former shepherd boy, "and he will eat your sheep as sure as night is day. But you're all so weary that you don't care, you simply want the wolf to arrive to get the nightmare over and done with. Fear not, for I will take back control and lead you to that promised land."
And verily the wolf did arrive, and the villagers discovered that all the laws which might have protected them had been watered down, and suddenly there were no more sheep. "Our friends across the hills are no longer willing to trade with us," they cried. "If only we'd made better plans when we had the opportunity."
