If ever you have an hour to spare and find yourself in Uxbridge, not that you ever will, why not give the Uxbridge Trail of Discovery a go? This two mile circuit explores the historic market town's waterside environs, assuming you're still vaguely interested, and is branded as 'Walk One' on the Hillingdon council website. Residents might alternatively stumble upon it via an information board in the middle of Uxbridge High Street, which isn't actually on the trail, or spot some of the handful of path markers that haven't been lost to time.
What's never made clear is precisely what there is to discover on the Trail of Discovery, other than a mallard, so I went discovering to find out.
Let's start in Fassnidge Park, because that's where you start if you follow the sign from the High Street down the back of Tesco and across the Cedars roundabout. Fassnidge is an Edwardian recreation ground, and still delightfully recognisable as such, with a central bandstand, wrought iron gates and a rustic toilet hut. It was donated to the town by Kate Fassnidge, whose back garden this once was, and who rolled the first jack on the bowling green in 1927. The Rusty Bike cafe is operated by an upcycling cycle hub, its terrace used as an observation deck by the mothers of ambulant toddlers. The skatepark in the far corner is doing its job of keeping Uxbridge's hoodied youth occupied. A memorial stone amid the flower beds commemorates the 200th anniversary of the incorporation of Uxbridge Massachusetts. There has already been much to discover.
The park is shielded from what could be its finest feature by a lengthy fence. Frays River runs down the eastern flank, and is only revealed when you step out onto the green in the conservation area at Rockingham Parade. One bank is faced by two storey workers' terraces, the other has early Victorian cottages, confirming that tiny parts of Uxbridge are rather more characterful than you might expect. At one end is three-arched Rockingham Bridge, built 1809, widened 1895, whose plaque tells a wartime story I'll leave you to discover when you visit. But I'm sorry to report that the only cafe on the Uxbridge Trail of Discovery, Original Lahore, is currently closed due to an electrical fault in the kitchen so you won't be going there.
In the waters below the bridge are those mallards the information panel promised, along with a small brown mammal swimming towards the weeds on the opposite bank. Instinctively I hope it's a rare water vole, but common sense (and a slew of helpful internetpages) suggest it was obviously a rat. Rarely can a business have been so poorly named as the Harrods Car Wash, a scrappy warehouse unit with a heap of dumped electrical goods out front. Keep walking and you'll soon emerge into Rockingham Recreation Ground, where the UTD offers an important choice... walk round three sides for the full experience or make a beeline to the nearest exit via the "shorter route". I took one for the team and did the full whack.
Frays River continues down the edge of the rec, now with added swans. It may look placid but a line of concrete embedded in the grass is labelled Do Not Remove - Flood protection - Do Not Remove, all the way from the playground to the final tree. One day I will return and attempt to walk the whole thing from Denham to West Drayton, as far as accessibility allows, so consider this a brief taster. On this occasion I also passed a bloke in a Team Commando t-shirt doing ostentatious press-ups and a bench occupied by questionable lager drinkers. Further round the perimeter is a 1929-vintage water fountain gifted by the Metropolitan Drinking Fountain and Cattle Trough Association, whose cattle troughs are normally of greater prominence.
Hillingdon has a thing about streets called Waye, so it's no surprise to be following Frays Waye back towards Rockingham Road. The pub at the end is The Dolphin, the humpback bridge alongside is Dolphin Bridge and the newbuild flats can only be Dolphin Bridge House. Behind the pub's garden is the Grand Union Canal, here on its long journey up the heavily-threaded Colne Valley. Uxbridge has all these watery treasures but has hidden them behind a bypass and then a string of industrial units, so thank heavens for the Trail of Discovery for bringing them to light.
Almost all of the remainder of the walk is along canal towpath, so that's nice. Just keep looking towards the water, because the adjacent buildings are almost entirely industrial estate. Through the first gap are the remnants of what used to be the Bell Punch Factory, purveyors of hand-operated public transport ticket machines. They moved here from Finsbury Square in 1922, to 'The Island, Uxbridge', although I only discovered this when I got home and did some tangential Googling. This is a popular stretch of canal for long term moorings, as you can tell by the miniature gardens and occasional bird feeders dotted along the hedge. Narrowboats may have ornamental ducks on top, or small dogs peering out the front doors, or mohawked inhabitants sitting on the rear deck with a ciggie. At one point the Buckinghamshire boundary is barely 30 metres away along one braid of the River Colne. I have walked finer half-miles of canal.
All that remains is to return to the starting point, which means very busy roads, safety barriers and pedestrian crossings. The transfer to urban realism comes alongside the Swan & Bottle, which is probably your best bet for a beer along the entire walk. The campus of Bucks New University, which is not in Bucks and barely a university, was built on the site of Uxbridge High Street station. The Trail of Discovery signs are fairly prominent along Oxford Road, but you couldn't have relied on them elsewhere to get you round. After my circuit I've discovered a side to the town I'd only half-realised was there, and you will likely never see, so thankyou for reading to the end.
