21:59 The polls close in one minute's time. Is Boris Johnson heading for a famous victory, or has Jeremy Corbyn inspired a Labour surge that'll hold him in check? It'll be the former, most likely, unless... 22:00 Bloody hell, that's massive. The exit poll shows the Conservatives on 368 seats, which is a comfortable majority of 86, and a convincing victory however the margin of error falls. 22:01 So that's Corbyn humiliated, and Labour stuffed, totally. 22:02 So that's Brexit getting done, next month, end of. 22:03 So that's the climate emergency ignored. 22:04 So that's the pound shooting upwards. 22:05 So we can all go to bed now. 22:10 Howls of despair online, alongside jubilant cheers. 22:45 Blyth Valley should have declared by now, because the North East likes to be first. Instead there are murmurings of a recount. 23:00 Everyone's stopped saying "if the results of the exit poll are correct". 23:04 Everyone's stopped talking about the Liberal Democrats. 23:30 The former mining community of Blyth Valley has gone Tory by 700 votes. The new MP thanks the returning officer, and thanks Boris. 23:55 Two hours ago nobody was quite sure where this was going. The Conservatives' triumph is now retrospectively obvious. 00:15 Seats that have been Labour-held for decades are predicted to turn blue across Wales, the Midlands and the North. Candidates are openly pointing the finger at Jeremy Corbyn and the party's position on Brexit. 01:00 The swing in the first few declared seats isn't quite as high as the exit poll suggested. But it's still very high. 01:20 Workington Man has indeed switched to the Conservatives, overturning a 4000 Labour majority with a 4000 Tory one. 01:55 ...but Putney has switched from blue to red, suggesting London may be swimming against the national tide. 02:20 Momentum are blaming Brexit, not Jeremy and his policies. Tories are thanking Jeremy and his policies. 02:40 Results are coming in thick and fast. The Conservatives (63) now have more seats than Labour (60). 02:45 The DUP are paying the price for propping up Theresa May, and losing seats to a co-ordinated opposition. 02:55 In Cities of London and Westminster, a split opposition (13000/12000) has allowed the Conservatives to slip through and win (17000). 03:00 The first update to the exit poll predicts the Conservatives will get 357 MPs (a majority of 64). 03:10 Nobody has mentioned it's Friday The Thirteenth yet. 03:20 Jeremy Corbyn, after winning his Islington North seat, says he won't lead his party into another General Election. Simultaneously, the Conservatives snatch Tony Blair's former seat of Sedgefield. 03:40 Boris Johnson is comfortably re-elected in Uxbridge. His victory speech repeats all of his campaign's soundbites. Standing alongside, Lord Buckethead beats Count Binface. 03:45 The SNP defeats Lib Dem party leader Jo Swinson by just 149 votes. 04:00 Prediction is back up to 362 (maj 74). 04:20 Brighton retains its Green MP, and she is angry. 04:25 Kensington remains ultra-marginal, but is now marginally blue. And there's my constituency at last, with Labour taking 73% of the vote. 04:30 The red wall in the north has crumbled. The red island in London remains. 04:40 Wales - more Tory. Northern Ireland - less DUP. Scotland - very SNP. 04:45 With fewer than 90 seats left to declare, mostly in the shires, the Conservatives pass 300. 05:00 The Independent Group For Change, and most of the wetter Tories, have vanished from sight. 05:05 And that's 326 seats, and that's an overall majority, and that's five years of Boris. Now, how long can I sleep?
08:15 Things look much the same in daylight, with the Conservatives 12% ahead, much as the polls suggested. 08:30 Following the endlessly-repeated success of 'Get Brexit Done', the new buzzphrase looks like being 'The People's Government'. 09:00 This is a Conservative victory delivered by Leave voters who'd never voted Conservative before. 09:30 The final majority looks like being 80. Most predictions on this blog yesterday clumped around 0-40. Nobody got closer than 68 (well done Luke).