As this Bank Holiday weekend gets off to a warm and sunny start, Good Friday should be the ideal time for a trip to the coast. Alas that's not possible, but rather than waste the opportunity I've decided to take a virtual jaunt instead.
I thought West Sussex, because I've not been for a while, and I thought Bognor Regis because I've been meaning to go for ages. My only other visit was in the 1970s and that was for a wedding so I never got to see the sea. Also I've been clearing out my pile of sightseeing ephemera and I just happen to have a copy of Bognor Regis's 2010 tourist brochure, so I'll be able to use that to plan my imaginary day.
What a fabulous cover photo - sunset and a lamppost really help to conjure up the resort's unenviable appeal. Also what a great slogan - Where Sun Meets Fun - reminding us that Bognor Regis is officially the sunniest place in mainland Britain. The town achieved a record breaking 2237 hours of sunshine in 1990, and was the sunniest place on the mainland in each of the years 1983-1991. It's expecting 13 hours of blue sky today.
Bognor's 2010 Mayor, Eileen Anderson, welcomes me to her lovely seaside town nestled below the South Downs and hopes I enjoy the many lovely floral displays and gardens. She also reminds me that the resort boasts golden sands and blue sea, that there are many attractions for all ages and that Butlin's has just opened its second hotel. It's going to be a cracking visit.
After stepping off the train from London my first stop has to be Bognor Regis Museum on West Street. This opened for the season last weekend, just in time for the bank holiday surge, and entrance is free. Exciting exhibits include an Edwardian Parlour display, a gallery devoted to Mary Wheatland – Bognor’s Famous Bathing Lady – and scale models of the Esplanade Theatre and the Art Deco Southdown Bus Station. The museum also incorporates the Ron Simpson Wireless Collection, a do-not-miss attraction including radios from yesteryear plus some early TV sets. I'm warming to Bognor already.
After that I should follow the Heritage Trail helpfully reproduced in my tourist brochure (also available in leaflet form from the Visitor Information Centre).
Highlights include...
2. In 1875 Dante Gabriel Rosetti worked on Belmont Street in what's now a garage.
3. The Town Hall opened in in 1929 and was designed by Mr C. Cowles-Voysey.
10. Boots and WH Smiths stand on the site of St John's Church, demolished in 1971.
17. Before 1851 the Waterloo Inn was probably a fisherman's cottage.
18. In 1929 Queen Mary bought a toy for Princess Elizabeth in what's now the Dolphin Coffee Shop.
21. The young people's skate park was built on the site of the town's first bandstand.
This is why I come to the seaside.
Next I must go to Hotham Park, Bognor's premier recreational space. It's named after Sir Richard Hotham, the 18th century property developer and politician who first attempted to turn Bognor into a seaside resort. His big house remains the centrepiece, but at this time of year the main attraction is the reopening of the Hotham Park Miniature Railway which, for a £3 outlay, will take you "through the trees and shrubberies giving a good vantage point to spot the park's resident squirrels and other wildlife." My 2010 guide does not mention the newly-built cafe and adventure golf course because that would be anachronistic.
Beyond the park is the famous Butlin's holiday camp, opened in 1960 despite fervent opposition from the local populace. Billy Butlin had launched a zoo on the seafront in 1933, complete with plasterwork Alps, but this 39 acre site near Felpham was on a different scale. Today it's one of the biggest employers in the town, and one of only three surviving Butlin's in the UK (alongside Skegness and Minehead). Tempting though it would be to enjoy the big pool, traditional funfair and Ocean Spa, Day Visitor rates are not currently available because it's too early in the season.
My 2010 guide urges trippers to Shop 'til You Drop in the town centre, especially "the Edwardian glazed arcade with its wonderful display of colourful hanging baskets". Of the two shops advertised on this double page Bognor Shopmobility still trades from the Old Fire Station but the South Coast Model Centre in Harfield Court has sadly closed. As for colourful events, the annual Clowns Weekend in March ceased in 2013, the Carnival won't be back until June and the amazing Birdman competition on what's left of the pier has failed to materialise in recent years due to lack of funding.
Still, at least I can always go for a long walk along the promenade, which stretches for 2½ pebbly miles from the suburb of Felpham to the suburb of Aldwick. The latter is famous as the site of Craigweil House, the home of Sir Arthur du Cros, inventor of the pneumatic tyre and chairman of the Dunlop Rubber Company. It's especially famous because it was here in 1929 that King George V came following lung surgery for three months of coastal convalescence. Although no fan of the town, the sea air did him good so he agreed to bestow the title 'Regis' on plain old Bognor, and it's been royally appended ever since. Craigweil House alas burnt down in 1939 and has since been replaced by a sprawling housing estate, as has most of the coastline hereabouts.
A fantastic excursion to the Sussex seaside would surely have been guaranteed, but in reality I'll be spending the bank holiday at home rather than in Bognor. Bugger.
