It's less muddy out there than it was. This is good news for those of us heading out for yet another walk across something that isn't just another pavement, be that a park, some woods, a field or a proper hill.
Here in Britain we have an annual cycle of ground conditions which ranges from solid to quagmire and back again. In the summer the ground is generally firm underfoot, which is good because you can go for a walk in the countryside without the need for special footwear. At some point in the autumn, due to a combination of decreasing evaporation and greater rainfall, the first slightly muddy patches appear. These grow and deepen and coalesce as winter approaches until a path is mostly mud, at best mucking up your trainers and at worst requiring boots or wellies. At this stage in the process it seems unfeasible that the ground will ever be solid again, but spring comes, the land dries out and the muddy bit slowly shrinks before vanishing altogether.
We could do with a Squelch Quotient, a bit like the Beaufort Scale but for mud, which reflects conditions underfoot across the year. In summer it'd be 0 meaning even your whitest sneakers were safe, rising through 1 for slight flexibility, 2 for emerging damp, 3 for muddy patches, 4 for broadening hazard, 5 for might leave your shoes coated, 6 for expect to have to wash it off when you get home, 7 for best walk around the edge, 8 for maybe we should go a different way, 9 for best not step in it except in wellies and 10 for essentially impassable.
Some winters would only peak at 5 or 6, depending on rainfall, and some summers wouldn't get down to zero. The SQ obviously couldn't apply nationwide because some parts of the country desquelch faster than others. Different environments would need different measures because a park might only get to 3 while a riverside path nearby could hit 8. But this might be a useful way to describe walks and footpaths, the peak SQ helping us to work out when to go, when not to go and maybe what to wear on our feet. The riverside path round Hackney Marshes was 7 in January but dropped to 6 last month and is probably 5 right now, with 1 and 0 still some time off.
These are the things I ponder when I'm walking the same path for the umpteenth time and wishing I'd worn something more sensible on my feet.
