The first time you have sex is quite an event. You're about to find out what it's like, you've never done it before and while it's happening you know it's happening for the very first time.
The last time you have sex is very different. It generally only becomes obvious it was the last time some time later, so while it's happening you don't realise you won't be doing this again.
I didn't realise it would be the last time, I just got on with the business at hand.
I hadn't been expecting it when I went out that day so was more engaged with the enjoyable unplannedness of it all. Then after it had finished I got on with putting all my clothes back on again and going down the pub, rather than standing there wistfully and mulling over the fact that a chapter of my life was over. Only later did I start thinking "it's been a while" and then "no, it really has" and twig that maybe it had been my final sexual encounter.
It might not be my last time, of course. The future is an unwritten book so it's perfectly possible a future chapter will contain a further liaison, maybe even several, potentially loads. It's all still very much under my control, so I'm not taking any particular outcome for granted. But that could have been it, I really don't know, and as the interval extends the probability inexorably increases.
Whether it's already happened or whether it's yet to come there will always be a last time. It might come early or it might come late but there has to be a final shag after which it never happens again. Every further sexual encounter simply resets the clock, but eventually for one reason or another the clock stops and for the rest of your life sex is just a memory.
Age is one factor. There comes a time, possibly quite late in life, after which your body may be unwilling to respond. I'm not there yet. But it's not just about the mechanics, it's also about whether someone else still finds you attractive enough to get involved, whoever they may be. Looks tend to go downhill after an early peak, and eventually you cross a threshold below which hardly anyone is going to give you a second look. My 50s feel quite seminal in that respect, in that I'm pretty sure I was above the line at the start of the decade but suspect I might not be by the end.
Generally it's easier to get sex if you're in a relationship of some kind (I'm aware this is an appalling generalisation, and no degree of certainty is implied). Having a partner under the same roof plainly helps, even a partner living elsewhere because geography isn't the issue. As part of a couple the last time you had sex might well have been this month, yesterday or even this morning, assuming you still do that kind of thing, rather than the longer timeframe many single people face. Going out looking is always harder, or at least it is in my experience - the vast majority of my sexual encounters have been while (notionally) coupled.
The last time you have sex, I'd like to suggest, comes down to
Willingness + Opportunity
The first part of this equation is down to you. If you really want sex you can get it, be that by paying for it, settling for second best or pursuing it at every opportunity. Alternatively your sex drive might be lower, even pretty much non existent, in which case you're less likely to be troubled by never having intercourse again.
The second part of the equation is down to other people. Someone else has to be interested, available and sufficiently eager, otherwise consensual behaviour isn't going to take place. You can be as keen as you like, even pop a little blue pill in readiness, but it takes (a minimum of) two to tango.
The past eighteen months have been appalling for 'opportunity', with lockdown legislation preventing coupling up outside your bubble. Some will have been champing at the bit to get back out there once restrictions eased, while others may still be relatively unwilling to get up close and personal. I suspect the pandemic will have significantly delayed the first time that millions of people have sex, and for others hastened the last time too.
Assuming you've had sex at least once you will at some point have a last time, and it may be several decades in the future or it may already have passed. You might think you know when it was, and you might be right, but likely the significance passed you by while it was happening.
I could have gone out on worse. We're still in touch.
You'll never forget the first time, but you won't notice it's the last time.
