Nash is one of Greater London's eight hamlets. It's small, rural and insignificant, consisting of a few farms and cottages on a couple of country lanes. It's located in a remote green wedge between the New Addington estate and the Biggin Hill road, and not especially accessible from either. The more I looked at it on a map the more obvious it was why I'd never been, indeed only curiosity would bring you here. And so it finally lured me in, and I can confirm that Nash is utterly atypical London.
The closest jumping-in point, civilisationwise, is the village of Keston. A bus from Bromley'll drop you off on the green by The Fox pub (or maybe The Greyhound if that's your drinking preference), and then you set off down the relatively precipitous Fox Hill. This road still feels comfortably suburban but the illusion fades away at the foot of the hill where the delightfully named Jackass Lane bends off towards Leaves Green. The quickest way to Nash is to hike back up along the edge of a hayfield but I stuck to the lanes, dodging delivery vans and recreational cyclists in lycra because pavements are not a feature beyond this point.
There are only two houses on the climb up to Nash, neither with neighbours, plus a meandering public bridleway that leads eventually to Coney Hall. The heart of the hamlet, it eventually turns out, is a small triangle of roads with a single tree and an overflowing grit bin in the centre. A small postbox provides the only other communal facility, although I can confirm that a Bromley bin lorry turns up on a Monday and a rat-haired boy jumps down to shift everyone's rubbish.
Most of Nash's two dozen homes are well hidden behind fences, hedges and gates. They vary in size between sturdy farmhouses and jumped-up sheds. The oldest is 18th century Nash House and the quaintest is probably skewiff-bricked Nash Cottage. Only the owners of April Cottage have made a decent stab at a rustic front garden. A lot of houses are named very literally, for example The Barn, The Stables and The Field. And the majority are plainly owned by horsey folk, as evidenced by the horseboxes parked out front, the stables where others would have gardens and the brown dollops deposited at multiple points along the lane. One resident has even hoisted a Union Jack up a lofty flagpole at the back of their paddock, presumably because they have very patriotic horses.
The narrowest road out of Nash is "...table for ... vehicles", which I think means you shouldn't drive anything big along it, but the hedge has grown out so far the sign's only half legible. This is North Pole Lane, a minor backroute double-bending towards North Pole Farm (where sadly they don't keep reindeer, only yet more horses). The other exit is a continuation of Nash Lane, a steady climb past inaccessible woodland and private paddocks to what I think I can safely describe as one of London's best-hidden crimebusting secrets.
Welcome to the Metropolitan Police Dog Training Establishment, or DTE for short. It's where the Met trains its 300+ dogs, the majority of them German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois, but also Springer Spaniels, Cocker Spaniels and Labradors. The centre was opened in 1953 and its facilities include over 100 purpose-built kennels, plus veterinary support, an in-house breeding programme and a central watchtower. The dogs that sniff you for drugs or bite you kindly have to learn how to do this somewhere, and where better than a 15 acre gated compound in the middle of absolutely nowhere.
"All dogs are trained at the Dog Training Establishment. It holds its place as one of the world’s foremost police and service dog training facilities. Its breeding programme has evolved to such an extent that it produces dogs of various breeds, used not only by the Metropolitan Police, but by other police services and agencies from around the UK and around the globe. New and innovative training methods in the world of explosive and narcotic detection are continually pioneered by the instructional staff and the standard of both dog and student is of the highest caliber available anywhere."
If canine handling is your thing you might be interested in a job here as Kennel Staff looking after the health and welfare of the capital's finest nasal detectives. Expect to undertake a lot of feeding, grooming and exercising, but also cleaning, 'clearing dog excrement from exercise areas' and the whelping of brood bitches. It's shift work so potentially challenging and you'll also need a car because 'there is no direct access to public transport'. They're not kidding, there's not even a bus stop within safe walking distance, which is highly unusual for somewhere that's only 12 miles from the centre of London.
Technically only the gates of the Dog Training Establishment are in TQ4063, the rest is in TQ3963, a square I'd previously (marginally) visited because I once attempted to walk around the edge of New Addington. But a few yards to the south is the even remoter TQ4062, which until this week was another square on my ever-dwindling unvisited list, and I think we'd better save that sylvan treat for tomorrow.
