diamond geezer

 Tuesday, August 16, 2022

(more niche bus content disguised as clickbait)

You'll never guess the unique peculiarity that connects these two bus stops



(apologies, you might actually guess)
(apologies, I've probably misused the word 'unique')
(apologies, it's less a peculiarity, more a coincidence)
(but hey, that's how clickbait works)


This is bus stop BT at Bromley Common, Turpington Lane.



Only one other bus stop in London shares the same amazing peculiarity.

Bromley Common is a long main road to the southeast of Bromley, quite close to Southborough. One side's mostly suburbia and the other side's mostly grass. Bus stop BT sits on the grassy side where almost nobody lives, beside a cute little cottage with a clock on its garage and whose owners sell free range eggs. This is the lodge for Oakley House, a large 19th century manor once owned by Admiral Sir William Cornwallis, which is hidden down the end of a private drive. These days the house is used for weddings, banquets and provincial masonic shenanigans, none of which are activities normally attended by bus. By a strange quirk the lodge's house number is 358 and 358 is also the number of a bus route which stops here, but this is not the coincidence we seek.

The bus stop is mostly used by residents of the postwar estates opposite, who generally gain access via a pelican crossing because the A21 can be quite busy. The bus stop has a shelter displaying adverts for Pepsi and Ocado and also a Countdown display. It's a busy stop because four different bus routes stop here, by my calculations a generous 20 times an hour, which is more than a road that's half grass generally deserves. Two of the timetables are present (the 261 and 358) and two are currently missing (the 61 and 320) because everything in the left hand panel has fallen out. It's a pleasant spot on a sunny day and I imagine a bit forlorn on a miserable night. And it's also a request stop, but this is not the part of the coincidence we seek either.

This is bus stop LN at Bell Green Sainsbury's.



It's the only other bus stop in London which shares the same amazing peculiarity.

Bell Green is part of Sydenham, specifically Lower Sydenham which is about a mile south of Catford. It used to be the site of the Crystal Palace District Gas Works, a belching polluter, which in the late 20th century proved the ideal spot to turn into a massive retail park. The centrepiece was a 149,000 sq ft silver shed containing one of the capital's largest Sainsbury's, and surrounded by an even larger car park because in Lower Sydenham the car is king. Not only can you buy groceries here but also dine on sushi, get your eyes checked and leave your children with a tutor to learn their times tables. The Pool River which passes immediately behind this Sainsbury's feeds into the River Ravensbourne which also crosses Bromley Common, but this is not the coincidence we seek.

The mega-Sainsbury's is only half the story because this retail park also includes a B&Q, a Next, a Curry's/PC World, an Aldi, a Mercedes service centre and a McDonalds. This is shopping nirvana for Londoners who'd rather never set foot in a high street again, hence the recent opening of 55,000 sq ft of additional units. And all this economic activity is why TfL send five different bus routes here - three terminating and two doing an annoying loop where they drive in and drive back out again. Three bus stops have been provided to spread out the departing shoppers, each with a separate utilitarian shelter. One is for buses heading north (181), one for buses heading south or east (181, 352, 356) and one for buses heading west (194, 356, 450). Only the latter satisfies the unique coincidence we seek.



It's your last chance to guess the peculiarity before I finally spill the beans.
[BT] Bromley Common, Turpington Lane: 61 261 320 358
[LN] Bell Green Sainsbury's: 194 356 450
(this is not normally how clickbait works)
(the whole point of clickbait is to lure you in with a teasing headline, and as soon as you click through you've achieved your purpose, marketingwise, so they can safely reveal the big news straight away)
(instead I've been teasing you with several opening paragraphs to build up the tension)
(and to give you the opportunity to feel smug by spotting the connection)
(which hopefully you have)
(drumroll please)


Bus stop BT at Bromley Common...
...and bus stop LN at Bell Green...
...are the only two bus stops in London whose route numbers add up to 1000.



What's strange is that they're five miles apart, because you'd expect stops with identical totals to be on opposite sides of the same road. But the Sainsbury's bus stop is a one-off because it's at a turnround/terminus with no matching bus stop opposite, and the Bromley Common bus stop is on a long stretch of road where bus stops are provided only sporadically. The 61, 261, 320 and 358 are the only buses along half a mile of Bromley Common but somehow there's only one northbound bus stop and nothing whatsoever heading south. Up by Crown Lane the 208 has intruded so the next stop totals 1208, and down past Turpington Lane the 336 has emerged so that makes 1336. Only bus stops BT and LN hit the millennial sweet spot.

I should say that I'm getting my data from a spreadsheet released in an FoI request back in January. It turns out that if you ask for a list of all TfL bus stops and all the TfL routes that stop there, TfL are willing to oblige. It's unlikely to be 100% accurate because TfL databases never are, and it also doesn't include any changes since the start of the year, but it is the best data we've got.

I should also say that I'm ignoring any bus stops served by lettered routes, because you can't add E2 or R10 onto anything, so these stops are all instantly disqualified. This rule also knocks out any bus stop with an N-prefixed night bus route, which is a heck of a lot of stops, because my "adding to 1000" target requires arithmetical purity. I've also ignored schoolbuses because schoolbuses don't count (and if you disagree you're welcome to bash the data yourself).


Most London bus stops have totals under 500, indeed only about 10% get into four figures. The bus stop with the highest total is bus stop QQ on Western Road in Romford, where 66, 86, 128, 165, 193, 247, 294, 296, 347, 365, 370, 375 and 496 add up to 3428. No other bus stop's total exceeds 3000.

The only bus stops which total 100 are those served solely by route 100 - no other combination hits the ton. Six bus stops total exactly 500, all of them in Wimbledon (serving routes 57, 93, 131 and 219). No bus stops total exactly 700, 800 or 900. In terms of near misses, 1000-wise, bus stop T outside Camden Town station hits 997 (that's 88, 168, 214, 253 and 274) and bus stop E at North Finchley bus station reaches 1001 (134, 221, 263 and 383).

It's also notable that the three buses terminating at Bell Green Sainsbury's are the 194, 352 and 450, which means the "Alighting point only" on the opposite side of the road scores a very close 996. But only bus stop LN at Bell Green and bus stop BT at Bromley Common have route numbers that add up to exactly 1000, so give yourself a pat on the back if you spotted that before I told you.


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