Yesterday I arrived on the DLR platform at Stratford just in time to see my train back to Bow Church depart so had to wait for the next one. Before the pandemic the wait was no more than five minutes but since 2020 that's doubled, annoyingly, so I had nine minutes to hang around. And the announcements almost never stopped.
1st minute
• Docklands Light Railway customer information. CCTV is in operation at this station and on all DLR services. Customers are also reminded to keep their personal belongings with them at all times when travelling on the railway. If you see something that doesn't look right speak to a member of staff or text British Transport Police on 61016. See It Say It We'll Sort It.
• Customer information. All folded and unfolded e-scooters and e-unicycles are prohibited on all TfL premises and services.
2nd minute
• Welcome to Stratford station. Please remember to keep priority seats free for people who need them and to look up to see if someone needs your seat more than you. It can make a huge difference if someone doesn't have to ask.
3rd minute
• Please continue wearing a face covering on TfL trains and at TfL stations if this helps you to travel with confidence.
4th minute
• Docklands Light Railway customer information. CCTV is in operation at this station and on all DLR services. Customers are also reminded to keep their personal belongings with them at all times when travelling on the railway. If you see something that doesn't look right speak to a member of staff or text British Transport Police on 61016. See It Say It We'll Sort It.
5th minute
• Customer Information. We're doing our bit to keep you safe by using an industrial grade hospital cleaner on our trains and stations. Please do your bit by using the hand sanitiser provided and washing your hands before and after travelling.
6th minute
• Please continue wearing a face covering on TfL trains and at TfL stations if this helps you to travel with confidence.
7th minute
• Docklands Light Railway customer information. From Monday 26 September a new DLR timetable will bring customers quicker and easier journeys. For more information visit tfl.gov.uk
• Docklands Light Railway customer information. CCTV is in operation at this station and on all DLR services. Customers are also reminded to keep their personal belongings with them at all times when travelling on the railway. If you see something that doesn't look right speak to a member of staff or text British Transport Police on 61016. See It Say It We'll Sort It.
8th minute
• Welcome to Stratford station. We know that travelling may not be the same as it was so feel free to ask staff for help but please keep your distance for everyone's safety and remember that some people may find it more difficult to social distance than others.
train arrives
I won't have got the wording of all these announcements 100% correct, sorry, because if you sit on a platform taking notes you risk one of your fellow passengers texting 61016. But ten announcements in nine minutes is ridiculous, indeed total overkill.
» One of the announcements was played three times - the bloody See it Say It Sorted message - voiced by two different people.
» Four of the announcements were about Covid, so would have been relevant six months ago but really should have been switched off by now. To still be playing the one about observing social distancing suggests that staff at Stratford station are utterly tone deaf.
» The message about looking up to see if someone needs your seat might be appropriate during busy times but this was in the middle of the day when multiple spare seats were available on every train. Also this campaign's been promoted regularly for months, maybe even years, because Stratford never knows when to retire its announcements, only how to stack them up.
I went back later to check how often the messages repeat...
Every 5 minutes (plus extra inserts): See It Say It Sorted Every 5 minutes: face coverings Every 10 minutes: e-scooters & e-unicycles/new DLR timetable Every 15 minutes: priority seats/hand sanitiser/social distancing
I suspect platform 4 at Stratford suffers particularly because it gets DLR announcements as well as station announcements - things are nowhere near as bad at Bow Church. Also Stratford station has past form on verbal diarrhoea - you may remember back in 2019 they were announcing the closure of platform 13 twenty-four times an hour.
Anyway the good news is that the new DLR timetable being introduced on Monday will double off-peak services on the Stratford branch from every ten minutes back to every five minutes. Not only won't I have to wait so long, I should hear only half as much babble before I escape. Give it a rest guys.
