Q: That looks like a Greggs Outlet? A: Yes, that's what it is.
Q: Like a Greggs... but also an Outlet? A: You catch on quickly.
Q: I thought an outlet store was somewhere retail businesses sold off their unwanted and unsold produce at cheaper prices? A: Yes, and that's exactly what this is.
Q: Surely it's illegal to sell out-of-date food to the public? A: Never risk a surely. The shops sell day-old food products which might otherwise be thrown away. They're still perfectly safe to eat. That said, a sign on the wall inside urges shoppers to eat all food on day of purchase.
Q: What's the big idea? A: It's a Greggs initiative aimed at easing food poverty. As well as selling products at greatly reduced prices, a share of the profits from these shops goes to the Greggs Foundation charity which supports local community groups working to address food poverty and associated problems.
Q: OMG, where is this pastry nirvana, I need to get myself there sharpish? A: This is the new Greggs Outlet on Cundy Road E16. It opened last Friday. It's not somewhere you're ever going to stumble upon by accident, it's up a shopping parade off a semi-main road between a cafe and a post office. Less than 400m away delegates at ExCeL are tucking into overpriced snacks from stalls in the main concourse whereas they could now be grabbing a much cheaper lunch a short walk up Prince Regent Lane.
Q: What does it look like inside? A: It doesn't look like a normal Greggs, it's a lot sparser. Think white walls. Think a few metal trolleys stacked with four plastic trays, mostly empty. Think a single chiller cabinet in the corner with a selection of filled rolls and baguettes, plus cold drinks. Think a small shielded counter with a locked door alongside. This is seriously low-maintenance vandalproof stuff. If a messy brawl kicked off in a Greggs Outlet the staff could have the whole place mopped down and reopened in minutes.
Q: What do they sell? A: That depends on what didn't sell elsewhere yesterday. Don't expect a wide selection. Yesterday the trays contained sausage, bean & cheese melts, festive bakes, vegan festive bakes, jam doughnuts, ring doughnuts, pains au chocolat and filled doughnuts. Those hoping for steak bakes, sausage rolls, pasties or pizza slices would have been disappointed. The chiller cabinet with rolls and baguettes was much better stocked. This was mid-morning - if I'd got there when the place opened at 8am I suspect there'd've been a wider choice.
Q: How cheap is it? A: The jam doughnuts are 4 for 55p. A Belgian bun, if they have any, is also 55p. A box of a dozen filled doughnuts is £3.10, that's 26p each, which is waaaay cheaper than Krispy Kreme. A cold sandwich plus any hot drink is just £2.70, which is a properly affordable meal deal in these trying times. And the festive bakes are £1.25 rather than £1.80, and what's more you get TWO festive bakes for your £1.25, that's two-thirds off the usual retail price, that's astonishing.
Q: What did you buy then, greedyguts? A: I bought the festive bakes, obviously, they were a seasonal bargain too good to resist. They weren't warm but needs must. The downside was the 453 calories in each bake, plus of course I had to eat both because they wouldn't keep. Also they were wrapped in a packet with a sticker listing 12 long rows of scary ingredients, so I decided not to read that too closely and it went straight in the bin.
Q: Why have I never heard about any of this before? A: Maybe you don't live anywhere poor enough. Seriously, these shops only crop up in places of need, not where the local population are routinely capable of blowing £7 on a frothy drink and a morsel of chocolate brownie. That's why there are only two Greggs Outlets in the Greater London area.
Q: Hang on, there's another one? A: Yes, a mile away in Canning Town. Again it's not on the main road but a few doors up a sidestreet, between an off-licence and a massage parlour on Hermit Road. I went inside and it's pretty much identical to the store in Custom House and with a similarly appreciative clientele. It opened in June, that's how off the radar it's been. Even Newham's local newspaper reckons the Cundy Road Greggs Outlet is London's first, which just shows how well its journalists know their patch.
Q: I don't live in Newham, where's the next closest Greggs Outlet? A: Southampton. They're really not a southeast thing. There are only 30 nationwide (with Cundy Road being the 30th).
Q: I assume you've analysed all the locations? A: You assume correctly. The West Midlands has the most Greggs Outlets, seven in total, mostly in Birmingham. The North East has six, which is appropriate because that's where Greggs started, plus it has plenty of deprived areas. Then there's five in Glasgow, three in Yorkshire, two in Cardiff, two in Southampton, two in Newham and one apiece in Bristol, Leicester and Preston.
Q: I feel left out. Why haven't they rolled this out more widely? A: You can't have outlet stores everywhere, they rely on ordinary stores being overstocked. That said, only 28% of Greggs' unsold food is currently repurposed in this way so a lot more could be done. But they do have plans to increase the number of Greggs Outlets to 50 by 2025 so you might get lucky. They've come a long way since the first one opened in 1972.
Q: Hang on, you mean these cheap bakery outlets have been going for 50 years? A: Your maths is good. Maybe celebrate with a 14p jam doughnut?
A: It all sounds overtemptingly dangerous, I'd better give it a miss. Q: All the more festive bakes for the rest of us, while stocks last. Who's in?
