Only one London postcode area reaches the heady heights of 23 (because N tops out at N22). Come with me to Forest HillSE23.
23 things to see in SE23
1) The Horniman Museum
Easily the most interesting thing in SE23 is the amazing Horniman Museum, a repository of the unusual since 1901. It's extended somewhat over the years but the heart of the collection is still animal remains and ethnography, each of which fill a barrelled hall (since augmented by cabinetfuls of wind instruments and a basement aquarium). If you've not been for a while I can reassure you that the giant tusked creature still has pride of place but the classic 'Please do not touch the walrus' sign has been replaced by the weedier message 'Thank you for not touching the walrus or sitting on the iceberg'. The Horniman won the Museum Of The Year award last year for its ability to appeal above and beyond, particularly to young families, indeed it sometimes feels more like SE23's public crèche. Yesterday the buggy park at the foot of the stairs was fifty strong, the halls were full of excitable children who hadn't yet gone back to nursery and a substantial line of parents were queueing for tickets to the Mr Benn exhibition. I hid from the noise in the Music gallery, ironically.
2) Horniman Gardens
There's almost as much to see outside the museum as within. The gardens extend over a fair chunk of hillside and include a bandstand, a mini zoo, a paid-entry Butterfly House, a conservatory, a sundial trail, a nature trail, a sunken garden, a medicinal garden, a cafe and a terrace where the Sunday food market pitches up. Just don't get locked in after the museum closes.
3) The view from Horniman Gardens
The view is good too because this is Forest Hill, a lofty hump, which means from here you can see all the way across Southwark towards central London. The Horniman and its environs really do have it all. I should really stop here because nowhere else in the SE23 postcode comes close to this level of recreational interest, but numerical determinism means I still need to include 20 more sights to reach the necessary total.
4) The Capitol
Forest Hill's Art Deco cinema has suffered the same fate as many a heritage jewel and become a Wetherspoons. That's good because it's been preserved and you can look inside, but bad because The Capitol is one of nine pubs Wetherspoons have just put on the market because they'd like to be rid of it. A sale might not happen, indeed they also tried unsuccessfully in 2016, but if you fancy a bottle of Becks for 99p then this year's January Sale might be SE23's last chance.
5) Ferfect Fried Chicken
You can't call yourself Perfect Fried Chicken and not expect to be sued, as this takeaway on London Road discovered to its cost, so they changed their first letter to create something totally meaningless and have carried on trading as FFC ever since.
6) Forest Hill Pools
It's been possible to go swimming in Forest Hill since Victorian times, with the exception of 2006-2012 when the old pool was closed and ultimately replaced by something splashier. Locals reacted with horror at plans to demolish the original building so it was reimagined as the entrance to the carbunclier addition behind.
7) Forest Hill Library
This is a lovely building, a turn-of-the-century Carnegie Library in classical Arts and Crafts style with banded terracotta frontage and a Grade II listing. Lewisham council chose to hive it off in 2016 to save cash so it's now run as a community model library, but it is the only community model library in the UK to open seven days a week because that's how good a community SE23 is.
8) Taymount Grange
If you like Art Deco–style mansion blocks you'll appreciate Taymount Grange, a streamlined pile of 60+ apartments deemed cutting edge in 1937. Just be aware it's at the top of a hill on an estate that's ultimately a cul-de-sac, and its properties are a lot more expensive than when young Michael Gambon moved here early in the 1960s, so all you can really do is admire it and retreat.
9) The Oak of Honor
Legend has it that on May Day 1602 Queen Elizabeth I picnicked beneath an oak tree on a SE23 hilltop with a local lord. That tree became known as the Oak of Honor, after which the suburb of Honor Oak was duly named. The oak on the hilltop today alas isn't the original, it's a replacement planted in 1905.
10) One Tree Hill
The hill topped with the Oak of Honor might originally have had only one tree but these days it has many more up various flanks, which has somewhat limited the view from the summit. It's still a very good view, especially in winter, but it has changed a lot since Southwark council last redrew the image on the information board with the Gherkin standing almost alone. From the station side it's about 100 steps to the top and invariably worth the effort.
11) Honor Oak Park
The road up to the station is the kind of street Time Out would once have devoted a page to, offering organic brunch spots and designer boutiques, even a splash of sourdough. It also has a lowly drycleaners and a Sainsbury's, plus rather more empty units than it used to, but still hits above its weight.
12) Babur
The first thing you notice about this restaurant is the tiger on the roof staring out towards Brockley Rise. The second thing is the word Michelin on a bright red background, and although it's not a star it's just two rosettes that's still pretty good for a suburban curryhouse. Expect contemporary dining even though the place opened in 1985, and be warned that the venison hunter curry is Roaring Hot.
13) Garthorne Road Nature Reserve
This long tract of ash and sycamore beside the railway has a welcoming brightly-painted entrance and an official council information board. But the gate's locked with a very chunky chain unless the Friends are holding an Open Day, which obviously they're not on a January weekday, so don't make a special effort to come.
14) Walter De La Mare's house
The poet Walter De La Mare (1873-1956) spent most of his life in southeast London - initially Charlton, later Anerley and Beckenham, and from the age of four Forest Hill. His childhood home at 61 Bovill Road isn't distinguished with a plaque, but does stand out because the entire ground floor is screened by an untamed hedge filling most of the front garden.
15) Perry Vale
Perry Vale (not to be confused with Perivale) is a minor neighbourhood lodged between Forest Hill and Bell Green. I hadn't been before and was hoping to discover more than a church and a brief parade of shops, although I did find an 01 phone number painted (painted!) above a driveway leading to a secluded recording studio so that's my top tourist tip.
16) Honor Oak Park station
SE23 has two Overground stations, and this one's no great shakes but Forest Hill is architecturally bereft so Honor Oak Park wins by default.
17) The Chandos
This pub on Brockley Rise has a historic interior of some regional importance, so I'm told, and they specialise in craft beer and pizza, so it says, and quiz night is Sunday.
18) Blythe Hill Fields
This open summit on the way to Ladywell has much better panoramic views than One Tree Hill but is much less well known. On a good day you can see Kent and Surrey, but you don't get many good days in early January.
19) South Circular Road
The South Circular is a gentler beast than its northern counterpart, often just a minor road reappropriated as an orbital, and slices through SE23 on its way from Dulwich to Catford bringing idling exhausts to many a Victorian terrace.
20) Sylvan Post
Imagine a pub in a former postwar post office. If it looks that unappealing from outside I can only assume it's not that bad inside otherwise it'd have folded by now.
21) Spike Milligan's house
Spike grew up in India but first lodged at 22 Gabriel Street, one road back from Honor Oak Park, when he moved to the UK. It's just a house, nothing genuinely worthy of a visit, but I'm scraping the barrel now I've reached the 20s.
22) WH Smith
The newsagent by Forest Hill station has an unbeatable selection of magazines across several shelves.
23) erm
I might need a genuine local resident to help me finish this off.
