If I've been to your borough over the weekend, here's some news from it.
Barking & Dagenham
If you know the Goresbrook Interchange where the A13 meets Ripple Road you'll know the two highly unusual black spikypinnacles in the centre of the roundabouts to either side. You may even call this the Witch's Hat roundabout or worse, Madonna's Bra. But what you may not know is that they're an early work by Thomas Heatherwick, commissioned in 1998 and intended to represent the two rocks Jason and the Argonauts had to pass between, hence the northern boob is called Scylla and the southern boob Charybdis. Charybdis is pictured.
Bromley
I don't know how often they wipe down the handrails on the stairs at Crystal Palace station, probably quite often, but the birds lurking in the mansard roof alas expel deposits vertically at a faster rate.
Croydon
What is it with pink hair in Croydon? Everyone I saw in Croydon had pink hair, every last one of them, all artfully dyed and coiffed in a vibrant shade. This may well be because I only spent ten seconds in the borough while crossing the street so saw only two people, but on the basis of my extensive research Croydon is definitely London's pink hair hotspot. Also everyone has a dog.
Hammersmith & Fulham
It's four years since Hammersmith Bridge closed to vehicular traffic, an amputation that's turned much of Barnes and Castelnau into a sleepy backwater. Pedestrians and wheeled bikes can still cross, but doing so only serves to confirm how shabby and unfixed the main span remains. We're currently at the "1220 pieces of steel welded in Middlesbrough" stage, the next part of the plan being to fit steel supports to the bridge. Engineers will then jack up the saddles, replace the corroded seized bearings, remove the damaged decking for repairs off-site and slide a temporary double-decker crossing within the existing structure supported by the bridge's foundations. But the council's Hammersmith Bridge webpage is noticeably silent on dates so don't expect to be driving over the Thames here for absolutely ages.
Havering
With Valentine's Day imminent, the thoughts of all good Havering folk turn to romance and floral gifts. In Elm Park they trot along to BeauDe Fleur on Broadway Parade where the window display is a riot of hearts and two temporary tables have been covered with identical hand-wrapped plants and gift boxes awaiting collection. I watched the assistant poking another rose into a bagged arrangement, perhaps their 'tall hatbox' special alongside hydrangeas and antirrhinum. Meanwhile in Harold Hill all the action is on Grange Road where Flowers By Tracy has been dispensing beautiful bouquets since 1988. Here red heart-shaped balloons herald the biggest sales day of the year, footfall is healthy and sorry, the Lindt truffles have already sold out.
Kingston
For years the welcome signs at the edge of the borough used to say Linked with Delft but now there's a brand new sign on Burlington Road that says Twinned with Jaffna instead. This comes after councillors decided to honour their Tamil population and make the Sri Lankan city their third 'twin town'. Poor old Oldenburg in Germany never gets a look in.
Lambeth
There's a house in the middle of Leigham Court Road in Streatham, quite a large house, which has three cars out front with personalised DG numberplates. I'm sorry I didn't make a note of the numbers which were something like DG 11, DG 83 and DG 262, but I was too amazed that someone had enough money to afford a DG trio. I briefly considered getting off the bus to take a closer look but then I thought "oh for goodness sake, get a life", so if anyone lives locally and could tell me what they really are that'd be great (although maybe they're only in situ at the weekend and overnight, so don't nip out specially).
Merton
Residents of SW20 are bracing themselves for a lengthy closure of Raynes Park Bridge to enable cycle and pedestrian facility works, starting today and expected to complete on 4th March. As one of the few routes under the railway it's going to be a real pain, and the queues on Grand Drive are usually bad enough at the best of times.
Newham
For details of the BT Street Hub blocking the pavement on Stratford High Street, see yesterday's post.
Redbridge Wangey Road in Chadwell Heath has a pigeon problem. They flock to the wall by the bus stop and strut across the patch of grass underneath in a haughty urban manner, and someone's seemingly been encouraging them by chucking bread. The college admin staff at number 8 have stuck up a notice to try to discourage the practice, although they've since moved out and the premises have been auctioned off for a tidy sum so I hope the new owners are aware of the local pestilence.
Richmond
Great news for music lovers in Richmond! You can now borrow a ukulele for free with your library card in a pioneering project between Richmond Library Service and the London Ukulele Project. Six instruments are available - three soprano ukuleles and three concert ukuleles - and if none are currently available they can be reserved just like an ordinary book.
Southwark
I spent less than ten seconds in Southwark, risking life and limb because nobody had built a pedestrian crossing precisely where I wanted to cross the street. This was mainly because I couldn't be bothered to walk 100m in either direction to a proper crossing, but how typical of the council not to prioritise pedestrians over the ubiquitous car.
Sutton
They've completed the upgrade to the path beside the Wandle between Culvers Avenue and Hackbridge Road - it always did need a cut-through. I spotted Egyptian geese in the river. It's a shame someone's grafittied the Wandle Valley post. If you're planning on attending the Habitat Management day on Thursday with Harry and Robyn please be aware that the meeting point is the Ancient lamppost at the foot of Riverside Way - an infrastructure remnant which inexplicably has a 5-star review on Google.
Tower Hamlets
If you have a pedantic friend you like to chat tediously with, why not bring them to this cobbled street opposite Bow Church station. "It's not cobbled," they will say, "those are actually setts, they're different, setts are flat and cobbles are lumpy, or rather..." Here you will interrupt them by pointing up at the rare 01 telephone number on the dental surgery. "Not so rare," they will say, "I know of several, of course this dates the sign to pre-1990, 6th May 1990 to be precise..." Here you will interrupt them by pointing at the street sign which says Kitcat Terrace. "By rights it should be called Rowntree's Chocolate Crisp Terrace," they will say, and you will rejoice in telling them that it's actually named after the Reverend Henry James Kitcat, rector of St Mary’s Bow from 1904 to 1921, and hopefully that will shut them up.
Wandsworth
Some London places barely exist outside the realm of those who live there. One such area is Furzedown, a residential suburb to the south of Tooting Bec Common which is packed with rather nice Edwardian houses. It must exist because FURZEDOWN is written across nine granite blocks in front of the shopping parade on Thrale Road, plus it still has its own TfL spider map with 'Buses from Furzedown' written across the top. Famous Furzedown residents include Henry Doulton, Buster Crabbe and Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, but I digress. Anyway the news from Furzedown is that Margaret has several very ripe bananas going spare so anyone who fancies making banana loaf should pop round to Corsehill Street.
My apologies if I didn't get to your borough this weekend.