diamond geezer

 Sunday, April 23, 2023

The first time I checked, the first street in London was Abberley Mews in Clapham SW4 and the last street was Zoffany Street in Upper Holloway N19. Then they built more streets.

The last time I checked, the first street in London was Aaron Hill Road in Beckton E6 and the last street was Zulu Mews in Battersea SW11. I think it's unlikely anything has ousted Aaron and Zulu since.

But what if I interpret 'alphabetical order' differently? Then maybe the first street in London is this.

Alpha Grove - Isle of Dogs E14 (map)

Alpha Grove is a long straight street on the western side of the Isle of Dogs. That's the Millwall side, not the Cubitt Town side, for those familiar with the residential hinterland beyond the docks and commercial towers. It's been here since the late 19th century when a wodge of streets was built to house those working in the docks and was originally called Alpha Road. Being closest to the dockside it got the foremen and better-paid workers, so was mostly respectable, whereas streets a bit further away tended to get the rowdy casual labourers instead. The name change to Alpha Grove came in 1939 when the Port of London Authority swallowed up the northern end of the street to make way for a dock extension. You could once have stood here and enjoyed the classic tableau of a row of terraced houses with a whopping great ship at the end of the street, and now look at it.



Many of the houses didn't survive the Blitz, London's docklands being pretty much the epicentre. St Luke's was so badly damaged that it had to be demolished and a 'temporary' church built in the grounds, which then remained in use for the next fifty years. One of the London County Council's last decisions was to sweep away most of the streets hereabouts to create the Barkantine Estate, replacing terraces and Nissen huts with rows of social housing, mostly flats. They are at least varied, if somewhat plain, occasionally brightened by the front gardens gifted to more fortunate residents. And if the northeastern end of the street looks a little different - more clumpy than terraced - that's because it had to be rebuilt following the Docklands bombing in 1996.



The newest building in Alpha Grove is the replacement St Luke's Church, now five years old. It's a chunky modern building that somehow resembles a small school, with what could be an assembly hall jutting out on the first floor and a very tall, very thin spire perched on top. They are not currently running an Alpha Course, which seems a missed opportunity. The oldest building in the street, indeed the only prewar survivor, is another place of worship - the former Methodist church on the corner of Malabar Street. This is now the Alpha Grove Community Centre, a hub for charities, support services, education and the obligatory foodbank. This remains one of the more deprived neighbourhoods in London, which seems somewhat ridiculous when literally a stone's throw away are the gleaming towers of New Docklands. But Alpha Grove's place has always been on the faultline between poverty and commerce, which originally meant granaries and warehouses and now means concierged stacks for bonused bankers.



This being the Isle of Dogs the backstory of Alpha Grove is well documented online, in this case on the excellent Island History website where the post "Everything you wanted to know about Alpha Grove but were afraid to ask" is well titled. I've only shown you three photos but that page has over 50! The origin of the name Alpha Grove is however unclear, there being no Beta, Gamma or Delta nearby, only Strafford, Janet and Havannah. But there is an Omega Close, a much more modern addition just round the corner off Tiller Road, which alas resembles a drab courtyard with some flats around it. And we can do better than Omega Close...

Omega Street - New Cross SE14 (map)

But not much better. Omega Street is a brief road off the beaten track on the Tanners Hill Estate, not too far from New Cross station. Things look historically promising as you bear off the New Cross Road via some fine Georgian terraces or a brief run of plainly throwback shops. But the flats start in abundance just after the Royal Standard pub, and as the land climbs towards the railway it's social housing all the way. The high ground is taken by Heston House, a prewar horseshoe packed with what were once deemed to be luxury flats, joined later by Deloraine House on the site of a sewing machine factory. Omega Street is later, lower and shorter, and was originally called Florence Street East, a mere offshoot of a longer road and originally had just seven houses to its name. They're all gone.



Today Omega Street is very much a road of two halves, the Odds on one side and the Evens on the other. The Evens live in a single long block with a communal balcony, the upper flats accessed via narrow stairwells between the lower. I noticed that one of the Evens has shoved their fridge freezer out onto the walkway, although I didn't trot up to check if it was plugged in. The Odds meanwhile live in angular homes staggered around a shrubby courtyard garden, all of which are accessed via a single entrance facing onto Heald Street, and I supect they've got the better deal.   LOUD BLARING SIREN NOISE! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! This is a test of Emergency Alerts, a new UK government service that will warn you if there’s a life-threatening emergency nearby. LOUD BLARING SIREN NOISE! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO! This is a test. You do not need to take any action. LOUD BLARING SIREN NOISE! WOO! WOO! WOO! WOO!   Indeed the Evens need never enter Omega Street at all, despite that notionally being their address, such are the anomalies of what may be London's ultimate street.

I have of course taken enormous liberties in describing these as the first and last streets in London based solely on the Greek letters in their names. It's somewhat dubious to rank streets half in one language and half in another, especially when multiple Alphas and Omegas exist. Perhaps I should have gone to Alpha Close in Marylebone instead - it even has a bus stop named after it - because 'Close' definitely comes before 'Grove' in alphabetical order.



My argument is that I'm considering the Greek form of the street name, and that means in my ranking Άλσος (Grove) comes much earlier in the alphabet than Τέλος (Close). Muddying the waters further are Alpha Place (which runs alongside Kilburn Park tube station) and at least six examples of Alpha Road, but after translating those I still reckon Άλσος (Grove) is the winner.
α Άλσος - Alpha Grove
α Δρόμος - Alpha Road
α Τέλος - Alpha Close
α Τόπος - Alpha Place
As for the Omegas, London has just three...
ω Δρόμος - Omega Street
ω Τέλος - Omega Close
ω Τόπος - Omega Place
...and which one comes last depends entirely on how you choose to translate from English to Greek, so in this case I decided to plump for Omega Street SE14 because that's last in traditional alphabetical order. If you don't like that, sorry, feel free to go to the Alpha and Omega of your choice and then write your own blogpost.


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