Some things I noticed in all the London boroughs I went to yesterday
Barnet: It's really quite hard in some cases to know precisely where a borough boundary is, so in this case I walked an extra minute all the way across the railway bridge just to be on the safe side, whereas the big sign saying "Welcome to Barnet" was in fact marginally inside and if I'd stopped there and turned back I would just have managed to catch that bus and not had to wait 15 minutes for the next one.
Brent: I always thought The Mews Coachworks halfway down Mortimer Road in Kensal Green was a derelict mechanics lair, with its cobbled driveway, grafittied gates and sign saying 'Rolls Royce and Bentley Specialists' with a fading 01 phone number. But this time the gate was open and people seemed to be doing some sort of community handiwork in the yard, and it turns out to be a community studio specialising in ceramics, textiles, film making, photography and creative writing.
Camden: I watched an Uber Eats biker trying to overtake a taxi on a narrow one-way street in Covent Garden, and I got the feeling that if you left all London's delivery cyclists and taxi drivers in the same room, very few of them would emerge.
City of London: It's six years since bridges in central London gained temporary metal barriers between the roadway and the pavement to prevent further terrorist atrocities. Alas in most cases they're still there, ugly non-heritage intrusions deemed necessary to keep risks at acceptable levels, but not so necessary that anyone wants to pay for a nicer permanent version.
Ealing: The funfair on Acton Green includes a massive rainbow bouncy castle complex where children can "Stay On As Long As You Like For Only £10", except there's a caveat in the smallprint which says "Once You Leave You Cannot Return", and good luck keeping your littl'un motivated enough to get your full tennersworth.
Enfield: I can cross this, I thought, the red man's only just blinked out, so I weaved between the cars and trucks that were blocking the crossing and reached the other side before they started moving, at which point I reminded myself I'd just risked three lanes of the North Circular, shuddered slightly and told myself never to do that again.
Hackney: The footpath alongside the New River through Woodberry Down was supposed to close for resurfacing for '7 to 8 weeks' but we're now into the 9th week and it's a long way off completion so maybe don't try tackling Capital Ring section 12 just yet.
Hammersmith and Fulham: Someone left a comment a while back and said I should investigate borough 'exclaves' - that's streets in boroughs which can only be accessed via a completely different borough - and if I ever do that I will have to include Alma Place off the Harrow Road which is just six houses hidden up a cul-de-sac between a cemetery and a tunnel mouth.
Haringey: Finsbury Park is currently in mega-festival mode - it hosted Pulp on Saturday and The 1975 last night. Meanwhile the council have smothered the hoardings by the main gates with passive aggressive notices telling residents why cordoning off a large portion of the park is actually a good thing and directing them to a "myth-busting fact sheet" on their website, and I'm sure someone thought it was a good idea but it all comes across as desperately patronising and unbalanced.
Hounslow: To the idiot who left a broom propped up against the signpost outside Turnham Green station, yes obviously I knocked it flying into the road and how ridiculously dangerous was that? Only later did I realise I'd put it back in exactly the same place, and my apologies if you got caught by it too.
Islington: Hurrah, yesterday was the annual Cally Festival where a large chunk of the Caledonian Road was sealed off and filled with stalls selling mostly hot saucy meat by the looks of things. I resisted buying overcolourful clothes, bumped into the pearly King of Finsbury and watched Ben Kelly preparing to launch into song in front of an as-yet non-existent audience.
Kensington & Chelsea: That is quite odd behaviour, peeling off the top of an extra-long sausage roll and then eating all the meat and leaving a long strip of pastry underneath, and I wish I'd noticed what you were doing before I sat in the seat next to you.
Lambeth: Just before the driver heads off round the Kennington Loop to reappear as a northbound Northern line train, he plays a really loud barrage of announcements to urge any remaining passengers to alight. I assume this is because a minute of strident cajoling every single time a train terminates is cheaper than employing someone to check, and we have perhaps got our priorities wrong.
Newham: At Stratford station the new awful message droned by the awful man at awfully regular intervals is "Please look after your children on the escalators and keep their feet away from the edges", and someone really needs to put down their risk analysis and leave us in peace.
Redbridge: Wanstead Flats are looking a bit dry, not fire-startingly dry but drier than they should be, all washed-out yellow and drained stalks, and perhaps this is that new normal they keep talking about.
Richmond: The newsagents at Kew Gardens station has far more copies of the Radio Times than any other magazine, and maybe they stocked extra because it says WIMBLEDON on the front cover but they plainly haven't sold and they'll all be going back to the wholesaler on Tuesday.
Southwark: The only McDonalds adverts on the stairways and escalators at London Bridge tube station are for a Mayo Chicken Saver Meal Deal, because TfL's ban on promoting unhealthier foods means they can't feature the greasy bestsellers.
Tower Hamlets: Technically my local segregated cycle superhighways are one-way, but because they pass either side of a church you do often get people heading in the wrong direction, particularly lazy delivery cyclists exiting the drive-thru by the Bow Roundabout with an urgent Mayo Chicken Saver Meal in their oversized backpacks, so I always have to look both ways just in case.
Waltham Forest: The pub with the miniature railway in its beer garden wasn't open yet, and I trust they unlock that gate before running any trains.
Wandsworth: The passageway between Nine Elms station and all the new highrise flats has acquired several colourful posters to try to encourage people to look where they're going and not cycle straight through. The smuggest of these says "This is Nick. Nick walks his bike here because Nick is great! Everyone likes Nick. Be More Like Nick." On the contrary, I hated Nick, but thankfully the text is so small that nobody cycling through would ever read it.
Westminster: I wish they'd make their mind up where John Logie Baird's blue plaque should be and for what. It's "First demonstrated television 1926" in Frith Street, it's "Conducted his first experimental television transmissions 1926-1928" in West Street and it's "Made the first British television broadcast 1929" in Long Acre (the latter not even on the right building).
