My Dad is 85 years old today, which is damned good going.
Let's see what he was doing on his milestone birthdays over the years.
Thu 20th October 1938 (0): A first child is born to my grandparents. Home is a new-ish semi-detached house backing onto the canal. Born on the same day - long jumper Fred Alsop and singer Kathy Kirby. Wed 20th October 1943 (5): These are not the easiest years to be a child because there's a war on. Rationing makes a proper birthday cake impossible. Dad now has one younger sister (and not yet another on the way). Wed 20th October 1948 (10): It would have been a school day. Dad was a pupil at the same primary school I went to. The county council had only just got round to building a dining hall. Tue 20th October 1953 (15): It would have been a school day. Dad was a pupil at the same secondary school I went to. We'd even share one of the same teachers. Mon 20th October 1958 (20): It would have been a working day. A half hour bike ride was required to get there, rain or shine. Dad would still be working at the same place 35 years later. One of his birthday cards is from a young woman he met at a joint Scout/Guide camp earlier in the year. Sun 20th October 1963 (25): It would have been a day off work. Dad is now married and living in a small terraced house just up the road from where he grew up. One of the two bedrooms remains empty. Sun 20th October 1968 (30): It would have been a day off work. There are now two children to look after so birthdays have got a lot busier. Whatever present I gave my Dad I didn't buy myself. Sat 20th October 1973 (35): It would have been a day off work. I don't know what happened because I'm only eight and haven't started writing a diary yet...
...but when I hit 12 that changed, so I can now bring you an annual update.
Thu 20th October 1977 (39): Started the day helping Dad open his presents in bed. In the evening we all went into Watford and spent two hours at a Greek restaurant enjoying a birthday meal. I remember none of this, but my diary says it definitely happened. Fri 20th October 1978 (40): Presents and cards in bed again because that's what we always did, even for major milestone birthdays. After school Mum cooked a special roast followed by a chocolate birthday cake (which would have been topped by a plastic 4 and a plastic 0 decorated with thin blue and pink candles). Sat 20th October 1979 (41): Bacon sandwiches for breakfast. One of Dad's presents was the Sky LP. He then took my brother and my best friend's Dad to watch Watford beat Newcastle United two nil. Home in time for Doctor Who (the last part of City of Death - exquisite) and another celebratory roast. Mon 20th October 1980 (42): Another roast dinner after work/school, this time with my grandmother (paternal, obv) in attendance. Tue 20th October 1981 (43): The invitees to this year's celebratory meal were Dad's best friend from school (my godfather) and his wife. There was a lot of washing up, which my brother and I got to do while the evening soirée continued. Wed 20th October 1982 (44): Dad had the week off work and was using the time to repaint his bedroom. Duluxy smells abounded. Mum got the night off from cooking because we went to the Ponderosa restaurant in Watford High Street, a cutting-edge American style steakhouse where Vera the waitress offered us warm bread rolls and free soft drink refills and invited us to fill our bowls from the salad bar. Impossibly glamorous for the early 80s.
Thu 20th October 1983 (45): Waited for cheap rate so I could ring Dad from the college payphone and wish him happy birthday. Sat 20th October 1984 (46): Dad spent his birthday at a family wedding on the other side of the county. I gave him a late call from my student digs. Sun 20th October 1985 (47): I was too busy having a fabulous social life to ring home. Sorry Dad. Mon 20th October 1986 (48): I totally missed this, but I had travelled 150 miles down the country on Friday to wish Dad a premature happy birthday in person (and to look through my parents' silver wedding cards, because I missed that too). Tue 20th October 1987 (49): Rang home (second time lucky) to check that Dad had received his birthday painting, and to hear that the tortoise briefly escaped during the big storm last week. Thu 20th October 1988 (50): Rang home on Dad's big day to discover that he only got 12 cards, but on the positive side his car insurance has gone down now he's 50. Nipped home three days later to enjoy what was left of the birthday apple crumble.
Fri 20th October 1989 (51): For the first time in seven years I actually saw my Dad on his birthday... but only because he'd endured rush hour traffic on the M25 to pick me up after work, and then he had to drive us all the way back again. Thanks, and sorry again. Sat 20th October 1990 (52): And again, a round trip to pick me up. Much of the day was spent hosting the neighbours' 1 year-old so all my old baby toys came out of the cupboard. Sun 20th October 1991 (53): This year my parents drove to my house to celebrate Dad's birthday. I'd only been living there for a week, so they spent a lot of time erecting shelves, assembling furniture and cleaning cookers. Somehow a roast chicken meal (with wine) emerged, followed by chocolate cake. Tue 20th October 1992 (54): The person with the new flat this year was my Dad, so he got a phone call there. This'd be his last birthday spent at work. Wed 20th October 1993 (55): Couldn't phone Dad because he was out celebrating at a Norfolk hotel. Thu 20th October 1994 (56): Waited until the weekend to attend a birthday meal up in Norfolk - a "full roast pork banquet". Guest of honour was Dad's first grandchild, not yet one month old. I got to change my first nappy. Fri 20th October 1995 (57): Waited until the weekend to attend a birthday meal up in Norfolk. But because one guest was a toddler who could smile and had just learned to walk it wasn't about Dad's birthday any more, it was all about the new generation. Sun 20th October 1996 (58): Back to making phone calls from a distance. I find it hard to believe that Dad was the age then that I am now.
...and back to multiples of five again.
Tue 20th October 1998 (60): The village bowls league doesn't pause just because it's your birthday, so the evening was spent at a short mat needle match. Mon 20th October 2003 (65): I rang Dad to wish him happy birthday but I did it in the middle of University Challenge. Sorry Dad. Sun 20th October 2008 (70): This year Dad got 15 cards so it was an improvement on his 50th. Breakfast was bacon baguettes and lunch was a tasty pub meal at The Angel (four people for £45, these were different times). When you move to a Norfolk village late in life you sometimes wonder if they'll ever accept you, but in the afternoon several locals turned up and shared tea and slices of iced cake. Sun 20th October 2013 (75): Last night Dad and I went to see Barry Cryer at the Norfolk Playhouse and we got home late. Only one parent lives here now. In the afternoon drove through pouring rain to see the rest of the family (bar eldest grandson who's now the one at university). Gammon, apple crumble and birthday cake were consumed. Sat 20th October 2018 (80): I offered Dad the chance to write today's blogpost, and that goes down well. Both sisters ring after breakfast. A neighbour's tied a helium balloon to the hedge. Run over an unexpected pheasant on the drive to the pub. Given the entire menu to choose from, Dad plumps for liver and bacon. A walk round the model boating lake with the family before heading home. All the grandchildren are now of working age and only one still lives locally.
Fri 20th October 2023 (85): I don't know how today is going to pan out, but I suspect Dad is reading this at one minute past seven while I'm still asleep in the spare room. The weather forecast looks appalling. We're planning on another pub lunch but let's wait and see...
Update: It rained so much this morning that our drive out of the village was through standing water and water running off the fields. Lunch was a tasty meal at The Angel, the same pub as in 2008 (except this time it was two people for £45, because times change). By this time roads back into the village had become impassable so we sat it out with a cup of tea and eventually splashed home carefully along the back lanes. The postman never came so the card tally is down this year. A memorable 85th.
My Dad is 85 years old today, which is damned good going.
