How many spoons do you have?
I can't say I've counted but I've accumulated several over the years. I have my main dessert spoons, soup spoons and teaspoons from a discounted Jamie Oliver cutlery set I bought from TK Maxx - six of each - plus three dessert spoons from my previous set (the rest snapped), plus five dessert spoons and six teaspoons from my previous twirly Argos set, plus a big serving spoon and three wooden spoons, plus six spoons my landlord left behind, plus six plastic spoons given away with some drink in the 1990s, plus 13 old spoons I think I inherited from my parents and grandparents, so I guess I have 61 spoons.
Have you ever milked a cow?
No but I have ridden a horse, had a snake around my neck and fed a tortoise. Only one of these happened in Lowestoft.
What did you have for lunch on 30th July 1989?
It was a Sunday so it was a roast, in this case roast lamb, which obviously I doused liberally with home-made mint sauce. There would also have been roast potatoes, yorkshires, peas and probably some other vegetables sourced from the garden. Unusually we opened a bottle of wine but only because it was a gift, we wouldn't normally have bought any. To follow we had apple pie and custard, which would have been a proper pastry pie my Mum baked swimming in delicious Birds custard, a combination which basically can't be beaten. I then did all the washing up, mainly to avoid having to listen to Gardeners Question Time.
What's the most northerly object in your flat?
Technically a wall, but if you want an object then it's a white cable linking my TV aerial socket to a signal booster.
Which is the most-read Diamond Geezer post?
A tour of the History Trees in the Olympic Park, which is ahead of everything else by a factor of three.
Does the UK have the worst pedestrian crossings in Europe?
No. In Albania zebra crossings are a relatively recent innovation and most don't have dropped kerbs except in the more affluent suburbs of Tirana. I'm not saying that Albania has the worst pedestrian crossings in Europe, but the UK definitely doesn't.
Quickies Salt or pepper? pepper Coke or Pepsi? if forced, Coke Blur or Oasis? Blur
Is Keir Starmer left wing enough?
No and yet yes. It'd be nice if he had the guts to support some of the leftier proposals he's backtracked on since becoming leader, like scrapping tuition fees and increasing taxes for the highest paid, but the most important thing is to get into power because even Keir's least brave policies are more left wing than anything the current bunch have done over the last decade, and who knows perhaps he'll surprise us all with something even Rebecca Long-Bailey would approve of.
What's the best Quality Street?
That's plainly a subjective question but personally I prefer the Strawberry Delights. I could happily eat a tub of just those, so special thanks to my brother for giving me a bagful for Christmas.
Where did you go yesterday?
The City, the Beverley Brook, an industrial estate in Sutton, Penge, a bus shelter outside the launderette on New Cross Road, the outskirts of Blackfen and the Greenway (amongst others).
Who was the first person to risk a surely?
In global terms I couldn't tell you but in this blog's case it was a commenter called Rob. In October 2002 he said "Surely everyone should be stopped from having kids anyway... there are far too many poeple on the planet as it is", and this is an excellent example of why you should never risk a surely.
Have you ever been on television?
Yes, most recently filmed from the BBC helicopter as the Queen's hearse passed through Northolt. Before that I was in the crowd several times during the 2012 Olympics, not that I ever spotted which pixels were specifically me, and I'm pretty sure I must have been in the balcony shot after William and Kate's wedding. But my most significant appearance would have been on Sunday 18th November 1973 when I appeared on Songs of Praise - a special edition from St Michael and All Angels' Church in Watford sung by choirs from local schools. I wasn't just in the congregation, our choir also got to come up to the front and sing a hymn by ourselves, so anyone tuning into BBC1 that evening just after seven would have seen me looking small and cherubic in the front row. Viewing figures were massive in those days, there being so few channels, so I must have got an audience modern-day EastEnders can only dream of. After the recording I tried to get Geoffrey Wheeler to sign my order of service but sadly I left it a bit late and all I got was a scribble from the churchwarden.
What's always in your supermarket trolley?
A packet of plain chocolate digestives, 4 pints of semi-skimmed, a cucumber, own brand crumpets, fruit yoghurts (flavours vary).
Quickies Spring or autumn? Spring Butter or margarine? neither Lemon Jelly or Röyksopp? Röyksopp
What's your favourite London pub?
I don't really have a favourite London pub, nor a favourite piece of music, nor a favourite type of cheese. I don't really do favourites, not to the extent that one option raises itself significantly above all other options, but I always thought the toilets in the Princess Louise were pretty special.
What's wrong with you?
Quite a lot, and that's just the diagnosed stuff. I was the first person in my class at school to have to wear glasses, also there's a scar on my leg from where I had a mole chopped off, also I have a problem with heights especially on long staircases with no obvious support underneath. I can't claim to be the world's most sociable person, nor the nicest, and I still regret the way I behaved in 1997 and that answer I gave in 2011, but nobody's perfect.
When you approached Wrythe Recreation Ground, did you notice that the raised part is in fact covering an air raid shelter?
No.
Where would you like to go?
Oslo, Chesterfield, the battlefield at Waterloo, Arran, the Sistine Chapel, Luxembourg, St David's, St Kilda, Lisbon, Berwick, the railway around Mount Etna, Fountains Abbey, Warsaw, Sutherland Bay, Vancouver, Spalding at bulb time, Tokyo, St Keyne Wishing Well Halt, Jersey, Baarle-Hertog, Lewes, Gibraltar, Settle, Carlisle, Settle-Carlisle, Arundel, the Victoria Falls, Golden Cap, Huddersfield, Sydney, Forfar, Belfast & the Giant's Causeway, Petra, New Zealand, Billericay, the Alps, through the Panama Canal, Roseberry Topping, Anchorage, the South Pole, Mars, other places. comments
What's your radio tuned to?
The clockradio by my bed is tuned to Radio 1, as it has been since the 1990s. The other radio by my bed is tuned to Radio 4, mainly for the midnight news. The digital radio in my living room is tuned to Radio 6Music most days but Radio 2 on Saturdays.
Have you ever dialled 999 from a burning phone box?
Yes.
