diamond geezer

 Friday, December 27, 2024

The evolution of Christmas

mid 1990s Xmas: Go to the shops to buy everything you need for Christmas
mid 2000s Xmas: Go to the shops to buy everything, except for a few books, CDs and DVDs from Amazon
mid 2010s Xmas: Get most of your Christmas stuff online, assuming it ever arrives
mid 2020s Xmas: Get most of your Christmas stuff stolen from your doorstep

mid 1990s Xmas: Send lots of cards to people you communicate with once a year
mid 2000s Xmas: Send lots of cards containing a printed round robin letter to keep everyone up to date
mid 2010s Xmas: You can no longer afford stamps, but that's OK because everyone's already seen all your photos on Facebook
mid 2020s Xmas: Nobody can afford stamps so Christmas cards are an endangered species

mid 1990s Xmas: Discover the Christmas Number 1 by listening to the radio
mid 2000s Xmas: Select the Christmas Number 1 because you voted for them on X Factor
mid 2010s Xmas: Who cares what's Number 1, I've made this playlist of Christmas songs on Spotify
mid 2020s Xmas: Everyone knows the Christmas Number 1 because it was released 40 years ago

mid 1990s Xmas: Ensure your travel bag is packed with presents for all the family
mid 2000s Xmas: Ensure your wheelie suitcase is packed with presents for all the family
mid 2010s Xmas: Ensure you've packed all your cables, otherwise your smartphone will die by mid-afternoon
mid 2020s Xmas: Ensure you've packed all your devices else you'll have nothing to keep you occupied

mid 1990s Xmas: Say goodbye to your friends for a few days and travel off to see the family
mid 2000s Xmas: Keep in touch with your friends via text message throughout the Christmas break
mid 2010s Xmas: Broadcast a blow by blow Christmas commentary via social media
mid 2020s Xmas: Livestream your Christmas antics to anyone who'll watch

mid 1990s Xmas: Demand to see the Double Issue Radio Times
mid 2000s Xmas: Demand to use your parents' PC to check your email
mid 2010s Xmas: Demand your host's wifi password the minute you enter their home
mid 2020s Xmas: Demand your smart speaker plays Christmas music on repeat

mid 1990s Xmas: Watch the same Christmas telly as everyone else
mid 2000s Xmas: Watch your festive choice from dozens/hundreds of satellite/digital channels
mid 2010s Xmas: Watch whatever you like from a bottomless pit of on-demand goodies
mid 2020s Xmas: Watch all the good stuff on the subscription services you don't have at home

mid 1990s Xmas: Sit grumpily while Mum insists on watching Emmerdale at Christmas
mid 2000s Xmas: Sit grumpily while Gran insists on watching Emmerdale at Christmas
mid 2010s Xmas: Play Candy Crush whilst simultaneously slagging off Emmerdale on Twitter
mid 2020s Xmas: Ignore Emmerdale, whatever that was, in favour of Rivals on Disney+

mid 1990s Xmas: Vegetate with a box of chocolates and a board game
mid 2000s Xmas: Plug the games console into the TV set and let the family join in
mid 2010s Xmas: Interact with your own personal screen for individual entertainment
mid 2020s Xmas: Connect your laptop to the TV and watch whatever the YouTube algorithm suggests

mid 1990s Xmas: Head back to civilisation to discover what everyone else did over Christmas
mid 2000s Xmas: Suspect everyone else had a better time than you from their endless text messages
mid 2010s Xmas: Know everyone else had a better time than you because they kept sending you photos
mid 2020s Xmas: There's nothing to catch up on because you've been FaceTiming constantly, and you never switched off


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jack of diamonds
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