It smashed through the railings, obviously, as you'd likely be able to guess even if you hadn't seen the large gap in the fence and the missing hedge. It must have failed to stop at the lights on Downs Road and carried on, either due to some kind of mechanical failure or because the driver fancied a giggle, and came to a halt in a few inches of water immediately in front of the fountain. Apparently it happened overnight, this being Tuesday morning, and I happened upon the unlikely scene about an hour before council operatives came along and winched the car out. Zero points to the clickbait news website who headlined their report on the incident 'Emergency Services Respond to Trapped Occupants' despite the picture beneath showing an empty unsubmerged car with two passenger doors wide open. It just goes to show that you can't beat proper on-the-spot reporting, and also that you never know what you're going to see when you walk around London.
Why is Hackney Walk being demolished?
Because it's empty, increasingly decrepit and was a bloody stupid idea in the first place, that's why. This is the hoped-for fashion nexus which Hackney council built on Morning Lane with post-riot funding, betting that a row of gold-panelled railway arches near a Burberry outlet could attract thousands of well-heeled punters in search of designer bargains. It could not. The pioneer brands in 2016 found they had more staff than customers, by 2020 only one store in the converted railway arches remained open and by 2022 even Nike had skedaddled from the bookend unit leaving everything vacant. Regeneration millions have rarely been more impressively wasted. Now in 2025 it seems the shutters have been screened off by a wall of wooden panels, labelled 'Caution Demolition - Keep Out', and behind the scenes workmen are hacking away to remove fittings, fascias and ex-luxury trappings. I understand the site is returning to the care of Network Rail spin-off the Arch Company and that yet more government funding (this time a levelling-up grant) is being directed to the area, hence the need to rip everything back to basics.
Best it seems that this golden eyesore is removed in the hope that eventually nobody remembers this embarrassingly expensive white elephant ever existed.
How many daffodils are there here?
I asked myself that question when I saw this splendid patch of daffodils in Millfields Park, Lower Clapton. They're the tiny type of daffodil, but still representative of the yellow nodders currently brightening parks, gardens and roadsides across the country. Enumerating them all separately would have been silly so I started by tallying the number of flowers in a representative sample of clumps. I checked 20 clumps in total, some of which had as few as 1 or 2 buds open and the best of which had 13, 14 and 16. Altogether 140 daffodil stalks were in bloom, suggesting an average of 7 flowers per plant. Conveniently the municipal gardeners had planted them in distinct rows, 12 in all, with approximately 30 plants in each line, which suggests 360 plants altogether. Assume 7 flowers each and that makes 12x30x7 in total, i.e. this is a photo of approximately 2500 daffodils. No wonder they look lovely. The entire park has four or five patches like this so that'd be more like 10000 altogether. I hesitate to try to scale this up but there might well be a million daffodils in bloom across the borough of Hackney, maybe 30 million across London and 100s of millions across the country. Hurrah for spring's floral multitudes.
What's wrong with Cherry Jaffa Cakes?
This billboard can be found on Lea Bridge Road not far from Lea Bridge station. I had to read it twice. I Want To Eat Jaffa Cakes With You, it said, But Not The Cherry Flavoured Ones. That's odd, I thought. It looked like an advert but it couldn't be an advert for Jaffa Cakes because even if McVities were being ironic they wouldn't have said that. The important bit turned out to be what it says in small white letters in the bottom right-hand corner which is 'Real Hackney Dave'. Initially I wondered if it was a Valentine's Day message that'd been up too long, but it's not because it turns out Real Hackney Dave is a local artist. He used to be big in advertising but since retiring has got into screen printing big time and is particularly keen on large slogans and slapping words across found images and ephemera. I can't find this particular artwork in his online gallery or shop, but he has put up a glittery piece called 'I Want To Eat Biscuits With You' on Threads. Jaffa Cakes famously aren't biscuits according to UK tax law. Also McVities don't seem to be making cherry Jaffa Cakes at present, only Raspberry, Cola Bottle and Original, so the correct slogan on the poster really ought to be But Not The Cola Bottle Flavoured Ones.
