I wasn't around at the start of March 1965, I was lurking embryonically ready to make a grand appearance. Even when I did emerge I had no linguistic ability, no long-term memory nor any recognition of what on earth was going on, plus there were no blogs or the internet I could have recorded things on anyway. But my Mum had just started keeping a diary, perhaps in recognition of the enormous changes a first child would mean in her life, which allows me to bring you this (heavily edited) account of my earliest days. The first nine days are in her own words, the rest of the month I've paraphrased.
Cast of characters
dgD - my Dad
dgGM, dgGF - my grandmother and grandfather
dgA1, dgA2, dgA3, dgA4 - my aunties
dgDBM - my Dad's BestMate
Mon 1: Rather cold but nice bright morning. Got all my washing and ironing done nice and early. Had a quick clean round downstairs. Sat and almost finished one dress in afternoon. Watched TV and knitted in evening.
[Monday was always washday in the 60s, even when you were nine months pregnant] [I wonder if that dress was baby sized and meant for me had I been a girl] [likely candidates for programmes watched included Date With Doonican, Bewitched and Perry Mason]
Tue 2: Letter from dgGM and dgGF, they hope to come this weekend. Did the net curtains and some woolies. Cleaned all the windows inside. Very cold wind today. Went to the shops in the afternoon, then wrote a letter to dgGM. Watched TV in the evening. dgD has another cold coming.
[My mum had taken to spring cleaning with a vengeance, either because this was normal back then or because she realised she wouldn't be getting much cleaning done imminently] [temperatures would fall to -7°C that evening, the coldest night of the winter] [wow, the joys of receiving a letter and writing back the same day, safe in the knowledge it would arrive almost immediately] [likely candidates for programmes watched included Compact and The Danny Kaye Show]
Wed 3: Had a quick clean round. Went to dGA1 in the morning. Went to clinic everything alright. Lost 4ozs this week. Was home before 2.45. Sat and finished rompers. In bed early as both tired.
[My auntie lived a few miles away so I suspect my pregnant mum rode round on her scooter, a very mid-60s form of transport] [I can just picture the Sirdar knitting pattern for those rompers]
Thu 4: Card from dgGM to say dgA2 was coming out of hospital. Snowing very hard this morning. Didn't get up for church. Swept snow away in front and at back. dgD went to Cubs. I watched TV and knitted.
[I'm not sure why my mum would have been off to church, Ash Wednesday was yesterday] [I found this newsreel from 4th March 1965 showing heavy snow in Trafalgar Square and train derailments] [My Dad wasn't in the Cubs, he helped out] [likely candidates for programmes watched included Top of the Form, Top of the Pops and Dr Kildare]
Fri 5: Up early for milkman. Down the shops early, went to library. Did a quick clean round. Snow going slowly. dgDBM came round for evening. dgGM and dgGF arrived at 8.30. Stayed up talking late.
[Paying the milkman required getting up early on a Friday, even I remember that] [My Dad's BestMate wasn't my godfather yet but it was already clear he was going to be] [My grandparents lived on the other side of Hertfordshire so that would have been quite a journey on a Friday evening after work]
Sat 6: dgGM did my washing and all got dry. dgGF and dgD went into Watford in the afternoon. Sat and talked rest of afternoon and evening. Did watch TV as well.
[This was well before washing machines so laundry was a big thing] [Watford FC were playing away at Colchester that afternoon so I know nobody sneaked off to the football] [likely candidates for programmes watched included Dixon of Dock Green and The Black and White Minstrel Show]
Sun 7: dgGF swept the chimney with help from dgD. Gave the room a spring clean. dgGM washed our carpet. dgGM2 and dgGF2 called in. dgD cleared the shed. dgGM and dgGF left 6.15 to go home.
[There's a heck of a lot of serious cleaning going on. Was the entire 1960s like this or was everyone just treading water waiting for me to arrive?] [seriously bad timing here from my grandparents, having to travel 20 miles home just before the event they were really looking forward to was about to happen]
Mon 8: More or less spring cleaned all rooms upstairs. Did a little bit of washing. dgD home at six, felt alright. By 6.30 thought I might be in labour. dgA3 called in with my birthday present. Neighbour came round and kept time. Went to hospital just after 10. dgD came home having been told it wouldn't be yet. Given something to make me sleep but by 1.30 getting more pains. Taken to delivery ward by 2.30. Given an injection don't remember much else.
[A pivotal day that started with cleaning and ended in labour] [how suddenly my parents' lives changed, from a normal day at work to here comes a child in half an hour flat] [good timing from my auntie to bring my Mum a birthday present just before she went to hospital] [how typical that my Dad got sent home from hospital just before everything really kicked off]
Tue 9: About five was told to push. Used mask till just before the end and then I watched dg being born. Most wonderful feeling. dgD was told to ring at 6 so didn't make it in on time. dg arrived 6.4am. Was put in a two bed ward, much better. Had flowers from dg, dgGM/dgGF and telegram from family friend. dgD brought my birthday cards in when he came to see us. He held dg for a second, and came again in evening. 7lb 12oz. Black hair and brown eyes. All his skin peeling.
[I don't know what you did on your 30th birthday but my Mum spent hers in hospital on heavy drugs, screaming in agony and giving birth to me] [we didn't have a phone at home so my Dad had to ring the hospital from a phone box outside the library, which isn't how it would happen these days with vastly improved telecommunications] [I was born four minutes after his phone call while he was cycling in] [I didn't really send my mum some flowers, my Dad bought them on my behalf (and accidentally left the shop without paying for them)] [my Mum really appreciated having one present to open in hospital, my auntie tells me] [technically I was her biggest 30th birthday present, obviously] [it's sad how little contact my parents had with me on my first day] [a birthweight of 3½kg is average today and I think was above average back then] [I bet you don't have this level of detail about your first day on the planet]
Wed 10: Apparently I refused to take to breastfeeding so had to go on the bottle, which I can see my Mum was extremely disappointed about. Sorry about that. Back at home a lot of post was arriving. Thu 11: I was laid down in a different room to my recuperating Mum so she didn't see me much. On the plus side that meant she didn't have to change my first nappy, a sister did that for her. Fri 12: Had my name registered by the local registrar. Mum was still having an uncomfortable time of things and needed help to sleep. Sat 13: Still in hospital. My Mum dressed me and changed my nappy for the first time. I still had dry skin so a nurse oiled me. Sun 14: My long-distance grandparents came to see me for the first time. Visiting time was stretched from half an hour to an hour. They were thrilled to see me. Mon 15: Mum changed my nappy and I promptly filled the clean one. Sorry Mum. Tue 16: Mum now feeling a lot better. Finally allowed home a week after I was born. I was taken home in my godfather's two-seater sports car, clutched in my Mum's arms. Visited my Auntie's house on the way back. Neighbours started popping in to see me. I slept all the way through from midnight to 7am - well done me.
Wed 17: A nurse came round to check my umbilical cord, which came off later in the afternoon. Mum was back doing the washing again. Thu 18: My grandmother and another auntie came round, which finally allowed Mum to get her hair done. Fri 19: Visits from my auntie, cousin, neighbour and health visitor. My auntie bought me a little nylon suit and my Mum some flowers. I slept through til 5am again. Sat 20: The first day in my life that no health professional saw me, I was solely in the loving care of my parents. I also got to experience sleeping in my new pram. Sun 21: Went on my first outing... to my grandparents down the road. Stayed to dinner and tea, which my Mum appreciated not having to make. Mon 22: A lot of my Mum's diary is now all about sleeping and feed times, so perhaps best leave it there. But how absolutely fascinating to have a window into my earliest days, and all the chaos and emotion and joy and pain and I brought. Thanks Mum, from your 60 year-old son on the day after what would have been your 90th birthday.
