diamond geezer

 Wednesday, July 06, 2016

Seaside postcard: Clacton-on-Sea
I owe a lot to Clacton - it's where my grandparents first met. But 90 years on from their accidental tryst, it's clear that much of the magic has gone. The beaches are still delightfully pristine, and the pier's very much a going concern, but the town's range of attractions has become somewhat limited. Spending a week's holiday here would be something of a challenge, hence most come either for the day or for the rest of their lives. One-third of the 50000 population are retired, very few were born abroad, and these facts may just be related to Clacton having the UK's only UKIP MP. You'll find the resort on one of the bumps along the Essex coast, ten miles southeast of Colchester, overlooking a bank of wind farms in the North Sea. And it really helps if the sun is out. [13 photos]

On exiting the station my first view of Clacton was green and pleasant, aided and abetted by three very carefully angled flowerbeds. Within a minute I was watching one of its former citizens slipping into the back of a hearse draped with a Union Jack, but I'm pleased to say that things picked up again after that. The front of town hall looks like a classical temple, but is in fact from the 1930s, and conceals a theatre behind where Jimmy Carr and the Dream Boys are scheduled, thankfully in separate shows. There follows a considerable number of shops, as you'd expect, with an abundance of non-chain stores and not a Polski sklep in sight. A lot are cosy places to eat, which helps pass the time round here, while the McDonalds looks like it's been set up in a gun emplacement overlooking the fountained square. The covered market is extremely twee, with gifts from fruity bath bombs to novelty dartboards, and accessed up a ramp so steep that it probably puts less mobile shoppers off. And because they know their target audience there are two M&Ss, one in the heart of town and the other (with the cheaper out of date stuff) in the Factory Outlet park on the northwest outskirts.

A trio of amusement arcades line the end of Pier Avenue, each subliminally identical inside. Some of the machines are heroically anachronistic, including a Coronation Street coin-pusher emblazoned with departed stars, and another which plays Up Up And Away In My Beautiful Balloon, while others are stuffed with must-win minions and the occasional Peppa Pig. From here it doesn't take long to walk down to the seafront, and a further floral spread. The oldest kiosk in Clacton awaits to serve you ice cream and fudge, before a brief road (or steps) dips down to the promenade. Pop tunes blare to tempt you left into the funfair, where a sign pinned by the council on a fence warns "You are exiting an award area", so think twice before going that way. Your catering choices here include a Tubby Isaacs seafood stall and the Boardwalk Bar and Grill, where staff struggle to keep up with a trickle of orders in a cavernous chamber designed for a torrent. Or of course there's fish and chips, but don't go thinking it's locally caught because the Sunshine Coast is considerably more beach than harbour.

And here too is Clacton Pier, the heart of the town's tourist offer, built in the 1870s to welcome pleasure steamers from London. A bit longer than a football pitch, the first part's covered and the remainder open to the elements, with a whole load of fairground attractions littered around. Rides can be found inside and out, from a Star Wars-themed VR screen to a Wild Mouse overlooking the sea, plus a helter skelter and some tepid-looking non-dodgems beyond. Feel free to wander, or purchase a Fun Card for access, or shell out £20 for the full deal including ten-pin bowling. Yes, there's an old lady who'll tell your fortune, or stand chatting to an attendant if punters aren't immediately apparent. Yes, there's a parlour where "Tattoo's" can be added or removed, the rogue apostrophe suggesting the latter might soon become necessary. And yes, there's a space right down the end for fishing, plus a SeaQuarium, which advertises itself as "an informative, educational, fun learning experience" and whose turnstiles aren't kept busy.

Which leaves the beach, which is properly sandy and goes on for miles. Given that it's Blue Flag, it probably is a good place to bring your kids, also safe in the knowledge that they won't be forever haranguing you for trampolines, overpriced candy floss and other distractions. You won't see much of it if the tide's in, so check first, but my observations were that there's plenty enough for towel-sprawling, sun-soaking and general kickabout. I also noted that Clacton's not over-blessed with beach huts, which surprised me given how many residents would have time to use one, but within them kettles boil, flags flap and crosswords are completed. I fear the Pirate Radio Museum is now permanently closed, so if you're here for any considerable length of time (and the airshow isn't on) the paucity of attractions means you're probably going to have to go back on the pier again.

Given the choice I'm afraid I preferred Walton-on-the-Naze a few miles up the coast, less smart but with character and scenery. But don't let me stop you flocking to Clacton to enjoy the sun, sand, and sea, because one day your grandchildren might have cause to thank you for it.

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan21  Feb21  Mar21  Apr21  May21  Jun21
Jan20  Feb20  Mar20  Apr20  May20  Jun20  Jul20  Aug20  Sep20  Oct20  Nov20  Dec20
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

» my flickr photostream

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
the ladies who bus
round the rails we go
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel
from the murky depths
exploring urban wastelands

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
Things to do outside London
Inner London toilet map
The DG Tour of Britain

read the archive
Jun21  May21
Apr21  Mar21  Feb21  Jan21
Dec20  Nov20  Oct20  Sep20
Aug20  Jul20  Jun20  May20
Apr20  Mar20  Feb20  Jan20
Dec19  Nov19  Oct19  Sep19
Aug19  Jul19  Jun19  May19
Apr19  Mar19  Feb19  Jan19
Dec18  Nov18  Oct18  Sep18
Aug18  Jul18  Jun18  May18
Apr18  Mar18  Feb18  Jan18
Dec17  Nov17  Oct17  Sep17
Aug17  Jul17  Jun17  May17
Apr17  Mar17  Feb17  Jan17
Dec16  Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2020 2019 2018 2017 2016
2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
Herbert Dip
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards