I asked ChatGPT to suggest 10 sights worth seeing in Cockfosters.
It did a decent job.
[click for full list]
It continued.
If you like, I can put together a walking route that hits these 10 sights — do you want me to do that?
This time it did a poor job.
It continued.
If you want, I can map this as a simplified drawn map.
This time it did an appalling job.
I confess I laughed.
Even if you've never been to Cockfosters I hope you'll recognise that the map looks nothing whatsoever like real life. One number placed twice, two numbers missing, every location misnumbered, two innovative spellings, one fictional placename, insufficient parkland, fundamental geographical inaccuracy and nothing you could follow in real life.
It pleaded guilty.
I can draw simplified, stylised, schematic or illustrative maps...
...but not geographically accurate, to-scale, or fully faithful real-world maps.
Admittedly this is only entry-level free AI, but it cannot model real life.
Lists are easy, itineraries are much harder and spatially correct is impossible.
If you want, I can create a clean schematic map that actually shows all 10 numbered places on the map itself, not just in the key.
And it was still absolutely rubbish.
But I went and walked it anyway.
Cockfosters 10-Sights Walking Route (about 4–5 miles / 6–8 km)
1. Cockfosters Station – Begin at the Grade II–listed modernist station.
A fine start, an accessible transport node with architectural finesse.
Walk 2 minutes north along Cockfosters Road. 2. Cockfosters Water Tower – Visible right from the road; walk past it heading toward Trent Park.
The water tower is 10 minutes north, not two, and you can't see it from anywhere along the main road because of trees. What is 2 minutes up the road is Trent Park Cemetery, which was included in the original list of sights but for some reason was never included in the walk.
Continue up Cockfosters Road, then turn right into Trent Park.
I had lots of fun here watching angry beeping drivers trying to pass through the entry gates, which are single carriageway only. Blimey they were furious with one another. Things weren't helped yesterday by the park hosting a North West London League children's athletics fixture, so there were parents, coaches, flags, tents and mud-splattered boots everywhere. Cross country indeed.
3. Trent Park Mansion (Trent Park House) – Follow the main estate path to the mansion. 4. Statues & Memorials (Venus statue / obelisk area) – Explore the immediate grounds around the mansion. 5. The Orangery – A short walk from the main house along the garden paths.
The problem here is that the mansion is being converted into 14 Luxury Apartments and is thus off-limits, shielded within a building site. I could see the unscaffolded end but not the statue of Venus out front. The Orangery is outside the construction perimeter but mostly shielded, its interior now used by residents as a gym, and my word the service charge here must be massive.
Continue deeper into Trent Park. 6. Trent Park Lake – Walk the circular lake path for scenery and wildlife.
I skipped walking down into the valley to circumnavigate the ornamental lake because that would have been an extra mile, but I did take a good look from the top of the back lawn. I also skipped the long hike up the hillside to see the obelisk up close, pretending that ChatGPT meant the pyramid by the car park instead.
Exit Trent Park southward toward Chalk Lane. 7. Cockfosters War Memorial – Located where Chalk Lane meets Cockfosters Road.
Chalk Lane is west of Trent Park, not south, but why would ChatGPT know that.
A security guard in a yellow car gave me a very suspicious looking wave as I headed out of the luxury housing enclave. I had to retrace my steps all the way back past the junior joggers before waiting for a gap in the traffic on Cockfosters Road. Only two wreaths remain on the war memorial. I'm surprised the walk failed to mention The Cock Inn which is definitely one of the old village's finer sights, but not surprised it omitted Cockfosters Reserves Premier Division home game against Buntingford.
Walk west toward Belmont Ave.
No, this time it is south rather than west.
8. Belmont Open Space – Small natural green area ideal for a breather.
I'm wholly unconvinced the extra ¾ mile to get here was worth the effort, merely to reach a small wedge of woody grass used mainly as a cut-through, although there was a great panorama across north London from the top of Mount Pleasant.
Head southwest along local streets toward East Barnet Road. 9. Oak Hill Park – Enter the park and follow Pymmes Brook. 10. Oak Hill Wood – At the far end of the park lies the nature-reserve woodland; loop through or walk the perimeter path.
It all got very inefficient here, not to mention suspiciously far beyond the outskirts of Cockfosters. I did walk to the Park and the Wood but not in that order, and it would have been much better if the walk had instead looped back to Cockfosters' hospitality-tastic high street.
Finish the walk at East Barnet Village or loop back to Cockfosters Station via bus (307 or 384).
Oh dear no. The 307 doesn't go to Cockfosters station and the 384 goes nowhere near Oak Hill Park or East Barnet Village.
Overall these were disastrous directions, certainly not "simple, realistic walking route (no external data needed)." But I had an interesting exploratory time all the same, mainly because Trent Park is lovely and Cockfosters has intriguing environs.
As a QMU professor said last week, "We know AI systems make up answers to please us - and that's a problem."
Lists maybe, itineraries not really, and a nice walk round Cockfosters as yet definitely not.
A consultation in the spring concluded that half a mile of Oxford Street should be pedestrianised and that a Mayoral Development Corporation should be created. Now we have a new consultation into the nitty gritty of how that'll be done, including which junctions will be stopped up, where additional pedestrian crossings will be needed and where the buses will go instead.
If you're a non-disabled pedestrian who likes shopping or a retailer with goods to shift it's excellent news because a lengthy chunk of prime retail estate is losing its traffic. From some date in 2027 you'll be able to wander cheerily past Selfridges to Oxford Circus without fear of your bulging shopping bags being run over by a vehicle. We had a dry run back in September and it was very pleasant, if massively over-hyped. But if you ride a bike, want to flag down a taxi or are planning to catch a bus the news is less good because you won't be able to do it here.
Let's dig down and add some nuance.
Less than half of Oxford Street is being pedestrianised
Oxford Street is 2km long but only half a mile is going traffic free (or 900m out of 2000m if you prefer unmixed units). The consultation calls it 'Oxford Street West'. The eastern stretch leading up to Tottenham Court Road is being left alone (for now) because it's not such prime shopping territory, also the 300m closest to Marble Arch because that's an essential traffic feeder. The half mile that's closing starts at Orchard Street (on the corner of Selfridges) and ends at the foot of Great Portland Street. This means one block east of Oxford Circus will be closing too, which has the following intriguing corollary.
The famous X-shaped pedestrian crossing will no longer be needed
The Shibuya-style crossing at Oxford Circus was opened to great fanfare in 2009, with pedestrians rushing across in all directions during their 30-second window. The consultation proposes that Oxford Street be closed on both sides at this point, leaving just Regent Street to pass through north-south. There'll still need to be a pedestrian crossing here, indeed it'll be the most significant on the entire pedestrianised stretch, but it only needs to be straight across so the X won't be needed any more.
It will still be possible to drive across Oxford Street
Traffic will still be allowed to drive across the pedestrianised stretch, specifically at Duke Street, Davies Street, New Bond Street, Holles Street and Regent Street. However three of these crossings will now be one-way only and a fourth only leads to a dead end anyway. Meanwhile the junctions at Binney Street, Gilbert Street and John Princes Street will be stopped up, the latter closure forcing the removal of the bus stand currently used for route 7 and 159.
TfL have been removing bus routes from Oxford Street for ages
Originally the slimming down was because Oxford Street was deemed to be overbussed, with umpteen queueing double deckers getting in the way of shoppers. Later it felt more like zealotry, chopping off the ends of routes so they didn't have to go down Oxford Street at all. Now they're all disappearing, with three routes being sent along parallel streets (98, 139, 390) and two more getting their ends chopped off (7, 94).
Routes 7 and 94 are being shortened
At present route 7 runs from East Acton to Oxford Circus and route 94 runs from Acton Green to Piccadilly Circus, but in future both will only get as far Marble Arch. This'll prevent them from clogging up Wimpole Street, which is important, but also means passengers will have to change buses to continue east, which is collateral damage. It also means the only buses that link Paddington and Notting Hill Gate to Oxford Circus will be permanently severed. Nothing here is helping bus passengers.
The remaining three bus routes will be diverted
Mayfair is impenetrable so the displaced 98, 139 and 390 will have to nudge north into less suitable streets, following Wigmore Street and Henrietta Place instead. Taxis will be similarly shunted, joining all the other vehicles who already have to go this way, so there is a risk these backroads get noticeably more congested.
New bus stops will be needed
Two new bus stops will appear on Wigmore Street outside some quite posh shops where BMWs and delivery vehicles currently park. I've timed it and they'll be three minutes walk from Oxford Street, so not impossible but not ideal. Two more bus stops will be needed on Henrietta Place. One's outside an office block they haven't finished building yet and the other will replace a bus stand where vehicles on routes 12 and 22 currently rest up. They'll be two minutes from Oxford Street but only for those who can work out which sidestreet to walk up. Some very good signage is going to be needed.
There's no longer going to be a bus stop at Bond Street station.
It's the 9th busiest railway station in Britain, but stuff it.
The diversion route is much bendier
At present a number 98 bus can head east to Holborn direct. In future it'll have to turn left up Orchard Street, then right into Wigmore Street (a turn currently prohibited). Then it's right into one-way Welbeck Street, then left into Henrietta Place past Cavendish Square. The removal of turns at Oxford Circus means the 98 will instead have to cross straight over Regent Street into minor Margaret Street. Then it's a right turn into Great Portland Street and finally a left turn into the open end of Oxford Street. Six turns rather than none, so unsurprisingly it's due to take longer.
Bus journeys will take longer
• "The projected increase in journey times for route 98 is expected to be between 2 and 5 minutes in either direction."
• "For route 390 the projected increase in journey times is expected to be between 1 and 3 minutes west and 3 and 5 minutes east."
• "The projected increase in journey time for route 139 is negligible and between 0 and 1 minute".
Having walked the diversion route yesterday and seen all the twist and turns and traffic, I'd say 3-5 minutes extra is more likely than 1-3. However route 139 gets away with a negligible delay because it'll now skip Orchard Street and won't have to do the Great Portland Street twiddle.
TfL are being weaselly on the subject
According to the spokesman TfL put on BBC News last night, "across the bus services you see less than a minute change in terms of the journey times." Officially that's true because the closure also indirectly affects several other routes not very much, and if you average these out the overall change is minor. But routes 98 and 390 will be noticeably disadvantaged to the extent that passengers may choose to stop using them, and it sounded like David Rowe was trying very hard not to admit that.
The fallout will affect ten other routes
Route N7 and N137: will be unhelpfully curtailed to Marble Arch rather than Oxford Circus Route N15: will be re-routed to use a bus stand on John Prince's Street Routes 22 and N22: will lose its last two stops, terminating at Hanover Street rather than Oxford Circus Routes 73 and N73: will terminate at Great Portland Street rather than Oxford Circus Routes N98 and N207: will be diverted via Wigmore Street and Henrietta Place Route N113: will terminate at Marble Arch rather than the hugely more useful Trafalgar Square
Various infrastructure works need to happen to make this possible
Bus stands need to move. Taxi ranks need to move. An extra set of traffic lights will be added just north of Oxford Circus. Some one-way streets will be reversed while others go two-way. Two new "buses and taxis only" lanes will be required. The fallout is going to be considerable. And all these changes have to happen (starting late next year) before Oxford Street can be closed to traffic (probably in 2027), finally giving shoppers free rein.
It's going to make shopping on Oxford Street much much more attractive
But it's not all going to be good, especially if you want to catch a bus across the West End, because your convenience is being sacrificed to the feed the gods of growth.
Go on a whirlwind tour of the history of the world.
From the Rosetta Stone that unlocked the hieroglyphic language of ancient Egypt to the Hoa Hakananai'a statue, this one-hour tour will give you a glimpse of ancient civilisations around the world.
They're not kidding when they say it's whirlwind, there being 14 super-exhibits to see across 12 different galleries. It's also a true orienteering challenge around a labyrinthine museum, and a proper scavenger hunt as you try to work out where in the gallery each chosen object is. I set out early to dodge the crowds, made sure I read all the labels at each chosen location and managed the whole thing in ** minutes flat (exact number to be revealed later).
1. The Rosetta Stone(Room 4)
Predictably enough, the trail starts at the bilingual tablet that helped unlock hieroglyphics. The stone was created as a legal document in 196BC, repurposed to build a Musilm fortress, looted by Napoleon's army, captured by the British Army and transferred to the British Museum in 1802. It's also usually heavily obscured, but I managed to get here just after the museum opened before it became thronged by visitors and school parties (which it already was when I passed by a few minutes later).
2. Parthenon Sculptures(Room 18)
Better known as the Elgin Marbles, an entire gallery is filled with these chipped, broken remnants of a splendid Greek temple from the 5th century BC. They're also hugely controversial because the Greek government would like them back, although you can pick up a free leaflet explaining why the British Museum thinks it probably shouldn't. They're simultaneously marvellous and a bit of a letdown, and I'd like to assure you I walked round and looked at the lot before heading on to the next stolen treasures.
3. Bust of Ramesses the Great(Room 4)
Just to the right of the Rosetta Stone is this massive stone head carved from granite quarried at Aswan. It would originally have been painted but three millennia of erosion have taken their toll. If you head to the Valley of the Kings you can see the bust's decapitated body still standing guard outside the tomb of Ramesses, and if you go to the new Grand Egyptian Museum in Cairo you can see his obelisk (but that's £23 admission whereas this is free).
4. Hoa Hakananai'a(Room 24)
To Oceania this time, specifically Easter Island, and one of the stone Moai created by the Polynesians around 1000 years ago. This one's unusual because it's made of hard basalt rather than softer volcanic rock, also that it was one of the last to be left standing by the native peoples. A British survey ship visited the island in 1868 and the commodore haughtily decided to haul it out of the ground and take it home, hence the island's current Council of Elders would very much like it back. Apparently "dialogue with the community continues".
5. The Ife head(Room 25)
Downstairs to Africa, then turn right to find the cabinet of Benin brasses. This crowned head was dug up by builders on a site near the royal palace in 1939, in what's now Edo State in Nigeria. It's fascinatingly textured with what looks like furrowed skin and a beaded helmet, and is thought to represent one of their 14th century kings, an Ooni.
6. Statue of Tara(Room 33)
Next head out to the China and South Asia gallery, which is enormous so it took me a while to work out where a Sri Lankan goddess might be placed. It can't be hard to find given it's "nearly-life sized" and "cast in a single piece of solid bronze", I reasoned, but I still couldn't find it. Eventually I asked a gallery attendant who said "oh, they took it out", then walked down with me to the far end to confirm they hadn't put it back yet. Several other contemporary treasures sufficed.
7. Tang dynasty tomb figures(Room 33)
These are splendid, a procession of painted figures found in the tomb of a Chinese army general from Luoyang and thought to represent some of his staff. At the front are dragons with flaming heads and at the rear some kind of camels, and all painted in browns and greens like a particularly 1970s set of Wade's Whimsies.
8. Aztec serpent(Room 27)
Cut down the jade corridor to enter ancient Mexico, and a double-headed snake so iconic that the Museum uses its image in many a promotion. It's a "maquizcoatl" carved from cedar wood, then covered with turquoise and slivers of oyster shell, and is believed to represent a harbinger of bad omens. It's also in an especially darkly-lit corner of the gallery behind over-reflective glass, so don't expect to come away with a good photo of it.
9. Mummy of Katebet(Room 63)
The rest of the trail is upstairs, starting with this extremely well preserved mummy from 18th Dynasty Thebes. Katebet was buried with her husband Qenna and has been in the museum since the 1830s, shrouded in cross-banded linen. Scans suggest she was elderly but still had two of her own teeth. Those who buried her with due reverence would never have guessed that pupils from Seven Kings School would one day swarm round her case and draw her innards on their worksheets.
10. Samurai armour(Room 93)
Another iconic costume, found by climbing to the Japan galleries on the uppermost floor. This is the summer armour for a powerful warrior from the west of the country, comprised of some surprising materials including paper, stencilled leather, water buffalo horn and gold. The museum also owns several related artefacts including some fairly vicious-looking blades and a black and gold chest the armour was originally stored in. Will be the star of a paid exhibition here next February.
11. Royal Game of Ur(Room 56)
This board game was played all across the Near East for centuries as two players attempted to race seven pieces from one end of a short board to the other, a bit like Ludo. The rosettes are thought to be the most important squares. In this set the white player's dice were tetrahedral and the black player's were four-sided sticks, while the counters were made from lapiz lazuli. This set's priceless but you can buy a replica made from MDF and resin in the shop for £125.
12. Oxus treasure(Room 52)
The Achaemenid dynasty peaked in 550BC in what's now borderline Turkmenistan/Afghanistan/Uzbekistan/Tajikistan. A fabulous hoard of gold and silver objects was uncovered by the river Oxus including jewellery, coins and model chariots. This pair of griffin-headed armlets exhibits the finest craftsmanship, but would have looked even more dazzling before all its precious stones were removed.
13. The Sutton Hoo ship burial(Room 41)
Finally something British by right, the spectacular remains found in an Anglo-Saxon grave at Sutton Hoo in Suffolk. Amongst the king's afterlife-stash were all kinds of weapons, jewellery, metal bowls and the real stunner, a complete ornately-decorated helmet. You have to look at the replica alongside to see how dazzling it once was, covered with hammered copper panels, but the eyeholes that stare back remain fiercely evocative.
14. Lewis Chessmen(Room 40)
Finally to Scotland and the near-complete set of chess pieces discovered in a Hebridean sandbank in 1831. They're late 12th century in origin and fashioned from walrus ivory (or in some cases whale's teeth). Some were originally stained red rather than black, and many have comic, slightly-startled expressions. The museum' knows their worth as ambassadors, hence six pieces are currently on loan to an exhibition in Norway, also they'd be happy to flog you Lewis Chessmen mugs, teatowels, bottle stoppers, socks and snow globes in the shop.
It's a real challenge to get round in an hour, I'd say, especially as the trail is just an illustrated list of items without a map. But the room numbers really helped, as did turning up just as the museum opened, hence I managed to complete the trail in 45 minutes flat. That left additional time to explore the Enlightenment, the Nordic art exhibition and especially the Roman galleries, which this trail inexplicably skips. If it's possible to have a more cultured hour in London, or indeed anywhere on the planet, I'd like to know about it.
Many people think the tube map's got much too complex.
But it needn't be.
Focus on individual boroughs and it can be a lot simpler.
The tube map for Kingston
The tube map for Richmond
The tube map for Sutton
The tube map for Bexley
n.b. Purists might say I should have included Thameslink, because that's on the tube map now.
You can see what a difference that makes by clicking on the last two maps.
Have I been down your way over the last seven days?
Abbey Wood: best not risk the woods in these trainers Aldwych: enjoy the lecture and see you next year Balham: might still be a Confectioner but not a Newsagent Barking Riverside: the fence is much longer now Belvedere: OK that is quite a lot of flags Bexleyheath: but who was William Camden? Blackfriars: no it's still not open yet Brixton: 21) the Brixton Theatre foundation stone Brondesbury: it still ought to be the Tricycle City Airport: I always love watching a good take-off Chesham: the knitted poppyman should have gone by now Dalston: you should pay ULEZ×2 for that billowing exhaust Edmonton: even the Irish pub isn't open yet Euston: ah, dammit, wrong rail terminus Goodmayes: yes the shop sells cans of drink Hackney Wick: becoming increasingly soulless Harold Wood: don't thank me, you tailgating freeloader Holborn: they've replaced all the crockery with plastic! Kennington: "lift number 1 shall be the next lift" Lewisham: I'm not surprised the new unit's still empty Leytonstone: unusual place for a cinema Mayesbrook Park: that is a seriously friendly squirrel
Mitcham: the corner of the common has almost recovered Moor Park: using platform 1 is a bit of a rarity Northolt: I mustn't walk as far as Hillingdon Northwood Hills: who reads City AM out here? Oxford Street: those stars are so underwhelming Pimlico: that's a particularly smart coat Plaistow: sorry to hear your snake is distended Richmond: even the allotments are posh here Sanderstead: two chippies in one parade seems excessive Surbiton: why does the kiosk deserve a plaque? Tottenham: the backway is a trifle menacing Upminster: blimey, the windmill's actually going round! Waltham Abbey: I've visited better museums Waltham Cross: the pavement works are a total labyrinth Warlingham: the hardware store is so old-school Wembley: yet more flats on Brook Avenue? West Hampstead: I've not walked the Potteries Path before Whitechapel: Ok so you're not in today Whyteleafe: yes I am taking a photo outside your house Willesden: does anyone ever read this board? Wimbledon: you tapped the wrong pad there mate Woolwich: those new toilets are a huge improvement
45 Squared 41) WINDRUSH SQUARE, SW2
Borough of Lambeth, 110m×50m
Lambeth's premier public space can be found in the centre of Brixton opposite the Town Hall. It's had several different names, the latest of which is Windrush Square, and in 2010 was redeveloped as a fairly sparse piazza sometimes nicknamed Windswept Square. But it is in fact full of stuff, some of which you may never have spotted, so today I bring you...
20 things to see in Windrush Square
1) A streetsign saying Brixton Oval
In the 18th century this was the northern end of a long stripe of grazing land called Rush Common, much of which still exists as protected open land alongside Brixton Hill. Here by the crossroads was a small approximately elliptical pasture which went by the name of Brixton Oval. Sheep grazed here until the 1890s, although they'd have a hard time today because there's no grass, also they'd soon find themselves on the grill of a local takeaway. But the northeastern side of the square is still officially called Brixton Oval, despite the geometrical contradiction, and a street sign on the front of the library confirms this.
2) A philanthropist's public library Sir Henry Tate made his fortune refining sugar and spent much of his wealth on cultural philanthropy. His art collection seeded the Tate Gallery and here in south London he founded several public libraries, one of themhere in Brixton. The Prince of Wales came to open it in 1893, at which point you'd have found the newspaper room inside on the left, the reading room on the right and the lending library at the rear. These days there are computers upstairs and e-books in the catalogue, but as a place to read and study it's still as popular as the Lord of sugar would have hoped.
3) A statue of Sir Henry Tate
After Sir Henry died in 1899 his widow bought Brixton Oval, kicked out the sheep and presented it to the council so that it could become a public space. The Tate Library Garden duly opened in 1905 with raised flower beds and concentric walkways within a rim of iron railings, hugely more attractive than the hard landscaping we see today. A bust of Sir Henry took pride of place in the centre and is pretty much all that remains of the gardens today, its heavily weathered plinth describing him as "BARONET / VPRIGHT MERCHANT / WISE PHILANTHROPIST".
4) The Tate plane
The gardens were paved over in 1965 in favour of benches and a rim of raised beds at a cost of £3,000. But the off-centre plane tree was left alone, already towering above the library, and subsequently survived a more modern relandscaping in 2009. It's been designated one of the Great Trees of London by the charity Trees for Cities, and has a particularly impressive pyramidal canopy which shades a significant portion of the square for a significant portion of the year.
5) The Ritzy cinema
Opened as The Electric Pavilion in 1911, this listed auditorium expanded into the nextdoor Brixton Theatre after it suffered wartime bomb damage. These days it's a five screen warren for the Picturehouse chain, the latest programme helpfully emblazoned in large white letters on the front, and offers the square's sole refreshments even when the screens are dark.
6) Insufficient seating
In lieu of benches the square now has a few dozen chairs at jaunty angles, seemingly shiftable but in fact securely bolted down. They're not much cop for communal socialising in which case youre best bet is the so-called 'granite worm', a huge grey turd of clamberable rock deposited in front of the library.
7) The old public toilets
These were opened in 1929 alongside what was then the end of Rushcroft Road. A big trench was dug, then divided into Ladies and Gentlemen with two sets of stairs up to street level. The conveniences have alas been closed for over 20 years, likely for misuse as well as lack of cash, although the ironwork up top has scrubbed up prettily.
8) The sugar cane ironwork
The entire square was given a significant spruce up in 2009-10 as part of Mayor Boris’s Great Outdoors Programme. It gained the aforementioned lighting, the aforementioned granite worm, the aforementioned bleak emptiness and some interesting surfaces underfoot. The significance of the knobbly cast iron panels in the pavement beside the underground toilets will be missed by most, but it's a sugar cane motif to reference slavery and the West Indies.
9) The old lights
A couple of proper heritage lampstands have been retained, each with two teeny lamps and intermediate metalwork twiddles, but neither of them work. Alternative eco-friendly lighting has been provided instead including tall columns around the perimeter and Hesse indirect columns with ceramic halide metal lamps.
10) The grassy end
The southern half of the square was once the Orange Coachworks, London's first motor coach station, described in 1930 as "a sort of motor-coach Clapham Junction in tangerine, almost as big, and certainly as ugly". A petrol station on the site survived until the mid-1990s when it was all demolished to create a new open space adjacent to Tate Gardens. In 1998 the two spaces were combined under the new name Windrush Square to commemorate the 50th anniversary of thearrival of the first ship bringing Caribbean workers to help rebuild postwar London. This end's now a fairly tepid piece of public realm, mostly a featureless lawn cut through by pathways.
11) The Bovril sign
The wall at the end of Rushcroft Road has been emblazoned with a Bovril ad since the 1930s, the current version merely a faded ghostsign left over from the beverage's days of beefy glory. The faded blue and yellow remnant underneath is believed to be an ad for Butlins, once ideally positioned to tempt coach passengers considering a trip 'daily to all coastal resorts'.
12) The African and Caribbean War Memorial
This bespoke memorial to an oft-overlooked military diaspora was designed by Jak Beula in 2014. It proved difficult to place, with proposed alternative sites including the National Arboretum, the South Bank and Tilbury Docks. But it was eventually agreed that Windrush Square was the right location and so it was finally unveiled here in June 2017. The memorial comprises two whinstone obelisks, one resting on the other and inscribed with the name of every regiment from Africa and the Caribbean that served in World War I or II.
13) The Black Cultural Archives
In 1981 Brixton resident Len Garrison started a collection intended to redress the paucity of cultural representation for the black community. It now holds over 10,000 documents, photos and objects relating to the history of people of African descent in Britain, and is housed in a converted Georgian house at number 1 Windrush Square. The building opened in 1824 as Raleigh Hall and in its time has also housed Brixton Liberal Club, a public meeting hall, the Cinema Museum and a furniture workshop. The metal statue in the forecourt is of Claudia Vera Jones, a founder of the West Indian Gazette and the (Notting Hill) Carnival before her premature death at the age of 49.
14) The fountain
The most innovative new feature in 2010 was a so-called fountain, in reality a patch of concentric jets designed to pump a watery mist across the centre of the square. It was controlled by an anemometer perched on one of the new lighting columns so it would automatically deactivate the pumps if the wind grew too strong. Unfortunately the fountain manifested more broadly as a water hazard and the need for a children's stomp-through was not generally required, thus it's rarely switched on and now provides only an intermittent trickle. What a waste.
15) The windrushes
At the southern end of the square is a cluster of thin greenish spikes, branching upwards, designed in 2010 by Jane Wernick Associates. They cost £85,000 and are called the Windrush Lights, supposedly because the tops illuminate after dark (although that's hard to confirm during the day). I've seen it said that they represent 'windrushes', although the famous ship was of course named after a Cotswold river so I don't believe such reeds exist.
16) The Sharpeville Memorial
Standing by itself is a stumpy plinth dedicated by Archbishop Trevor Huddleston to commemorate a massacre at an anti-apartheid protest in a South African township in 1960.
17) The old milestone
In amongst all the modern cultural touchpoints is a really old milestone placed beside the Brighton road over 200 years ago. It says "Royal Exchange 4" on two sides and "Whitehall 3½" on another, and also presumably on the fourth side although that's since eroded away and is unreadable. The milestone was originally on the other side of the road but was moved to Windrush Square because these days heritage street furniture just gets in the way.
18) The Cherry Groce pavilion
The most recent addition to the square is a triangular granite slab supported on a single pillar above a stepped plinth, designed by David Adjaye and unveiled in 2021. It's here "in loving memory of Cherry Groce" who was mistakenly shot by the police during a raid in 1985 which triggered two days of rioting. You may not need restorative justice round your way, but here in Brixton they place it front and centre.
19) A man being arrested
My attempts to take photographs of Windrush Square were almost thwarted when I realised police were in the process of making an arrest over by the roadside. Several officers stood round a white van restraining a suspect before driving him away, then two remained behind to interview a witness at length beside the Cherry Groce Pavilion. After about 15 minutes they finally had all they needed, removed an offensive poster from the noticeboard and strode off in the direction of the police station, and I got my photos. Never a dull moment.
20) The absence of obvious Windrushness
Perhaps the strangest thing about Windrush Square is that there's barely any specific reference to why it's called that, nor is its name placed anywhere in a prominent position. I think there used to be an information board where the African and Caribbean War Memorial now stands but that's gone, and a few words inscribed into a couple of limestone slabs don't really cut it. If anything it's testament to the fact that Londoners already know what the SS Windrush was and why it's significant, because sometimes naming things really can embed them in our consciousness.
Tottenham Hale's ticket hall is emblazoned with red signs warning airport-bound passengers not to touch in with Oyster or a contactless card. Nevertheless many do, and then discover when they reach the airport that they can't touch out so get whacked by a £100 penalty fare. But that's due to change on Sunday 14th December as Stansted finally gets contactless, as do 49 other southeastern railway stations. It's the second stage of what's known in the trade as Project Oval, long delayed, and will spread the availability of tap-in tap-out even further beyond the Oyster boundary.
The new zone extends to Dorking, Reigate and East Grinstead on Southern, to Witham and Southend on Greater Anglia, to Harlington and Baldock on Thameslink and to Aylesbury on Chiltern. The DfT have produced a minimalist map to show the 50 new stations, and also produced a similar map to show the last 53, but there isn't yet a combined map to show where the full contactless zone will be. Expect the South East Rail Services map to be updated next month, but in the meantime here's my rough attempt so you can get the gist.
The longest contactless journey on a single train looks like it'll be East Grinstead to Harlington, which is over 100km. The most expensive contactless journey may be Gatwick to Stansted at £56.70. The closest stations to London without contactless will be Esher and Hinchley Wood in Surrey, and Stone Crossing in Kent.
But if you do rely on contactless to travel to Stansted, now without the need to pay up front, you may be surprised how much you get charged. From December it's £23 single, i.e. £46 return, which could be more than your basic Easyjet flight. Airport travel can be expensive if you simply tap and go...
Heathrow Express: £25 (but half that on the Elizabeth line)
Gatwick Express: £24 (or less than half that on other trains)
Stansted Express: £23 (or £22 from Tottenham Hale)
Luton: £16.60 (plus £4.90 for the DART shuttle)
Southend: £20.10
Fares to these 50 new stations are being adjusted on 7th December, a week before contactless goes live, which folk in the comments will be only too happy to explain the downsides of.
But this time there's bad news for owners of electric vehicles who've previously enjoyed a 100% Cleaner Vehicle Discount. EVs now make up 20% of the traffic in the Congestion Zone and if numbers continue to grow then central London risks getting congested again. Thus from January electric vans will only merit a 50% discount and electric cars just 25%, i.e. EV car drivers go from paying nothing to paying 75%. The discounts are destined to halve from 2030, i.e. everyone'll be paying almost everything. Alternatively keep out of central London and it won't cost a penny extra, your choice.
3) London's new shortest bus route
The 424 is a seriously twiddly bus route, introduced in 2001 to wind round several unserved backstreets in Fulham and Putney. It's also notoriously unreliable due to narrow streets and congestion, so TfL have just launched a consultation to chop it in two. The majority becomes a new route, the 454, meandering the long way from Craven Cottage to Putney Bridge station. The south-of-the river bit becomes a teensy shuttle from Putney station to Putney Heath and retains the number 424. No overlap will exist, this because Putney's bridge and high street have the worst congestion so they're being omitted.
The bus currently runs every 35 minutes, an annoyingly unmemorable frequency, but this is proposed to change. The shortened 424 would run every 45 minutes, making it even more of a pain to wait for, and the new 454 would run either every 30 or every 45 depending on the consultation. What's more route 424 would now be less than two miles long, a pathetic runt of a service, making it the shortest (non-circular) route in London. The current title-holder is the 209 (1.9 miles), but a separate consultation proposes extending that to 6 miles to replace the 533.
The consultation screams of frustrated desperation, breaking a malfunctioning route to create two less useful ones, and if it goes ahead should create not just London's shortest route but also one of its least used.
4) DangleChristmas
It's almost Christmas so it's time to tell you about this year's festive upselling on London's most mercenary cablecar.
For the Standard Christmas Experience (£15.50) children get...
• A standard round trip
• Meet and Greet with Santa
• Gift from Santa
• Colouring-in activity
Pay £3 more for the Premium Christmas Experience to also get...
• London Cable Car Kids Pack
Pay another £3 for the Ultimate Christmas Experience to also get...
• A Fast Track round trip
• A Winters hot chocolate
If that's your Ultimate Christmas Experience then you're doing December wrong.
5) 2026's heritage bus days
This year the London Bus Museum organised three heritage vehicle days based around routes 19, 418 and 54. And they've just announced next year's chosen three, so add these to your diary if you want to be sure of a chuggy ride.
Route 38 Heritage Day: 14 March 2026 Route 213 Heritage Day: 13 June 2026 Route 106 Heritage Day: 3 October 2026
6) Road Safety Week
This week is Road Safety Week, which is both quite important and quite dull. But have you seen TfL's new Highway Code posters which they plugged yesterday on the TfL blog?
They are 6 metres above sea level.
And they are thus higher than the entire state of Tuvalu.
Tuvalu is a Pacific nation composed of three reef islands and six atolls. The highest point is on the island of Niulakita (population 36) and is 4.6m above sea level. The country is thus acutely affected by the threat of climate change, and just last week at the Cop30 summit rebuked Donald Trump for withdrawing from the Paris climate agreement. Hackney Marshes are also floodable although not in such an existential manner.
These are Kew Gardens.
They are 8 metres above sea level.
And they are thus higher than all 26 atolls in the Maldives.
The Maldives are in even greater peril than Tuvalu, sea level wise, because the highest natural point in the islands has an elevation of just 2.4m. There is however one spot on a golf course on Villingili that artificially reaches 5.1m, so technically the Maldives have 50cm leeway over Tuvalu. Kew Gardens is comfortably higher, although should sea level rise ever reach 10m that wouldn't be comfortable at all.
There are a lot of places in London that aren't higher than the Maldives. I wrote a post in 2019 listing all the places I could find on an Ordnance Survey map with a spot height less than 5m. They included Wennington Marshes (1m), 10 Downing Street (2m), Thamesmead (3m) and Parsons Green (4m). We have no reason to be smug about the long-term future of our capital. However we are still higher above sea level than at least 20 sovereign nations, so let's explore...
Hyde Park Corner is 13m above sea level. It is thus higher than the Marshall Islands which only reach 10m. (Buckingham Palace is not higher than the Marshall Islands because it lies below the 10m contour, which crosses the top of the back garden)
West Hampstead is 47m above sea level, as are Uxbridge, Blackheath and Ruislip Lido. They are thus higher than the Cayman Islands which only reach 43m. Most of the country is much flatter but on the easternmost island is a plateau of karstic limestone called The Bluff, and that's where the 43m peak occurs.
King Henry's Mound in Richmond Park is 56m above sea level. It is thus higher than The Gambia which only reaches 51m. This is the first non-island nation on the list, and it's so low because the country essentially hugs the lower reaches of the Gambia River which drains much of the surrounding country of Senegal.
Primrose Hill is 64m above sea level. It is thus higher than The Bahamas which only reach 63m.
Stanmore is 81m above sea level. That's the centre of Stanmore by the shops, not the more elevated heights on the common which easily top 140m. Of a similar height are the centre of Northwood, the centre of Harefield and the centre of Coulsdon. They are all thus higher than Vatican City which only reaches 75m. The Pope's abode is the first land-locked country on our list.
Alexandra Palace is 89m above sea level. It is thus higher than Bermuda which only reaches 79m.
Crystal Palace is 109m above sea level. It is thus higher than Qatar which only reaches 103m. I should say this is the top end of the park where the transmitter stands, and should also confirm that in all today's measurements I'm only considering ground level. If we also counted the transmitter then the top of the mast reaches 330m which is higher than Estonia... although maybe not higher than the tallest building in Estonia, and that's why ground level is the only unambiguous thing to compare.
New Addington is 141m above sea level. It is thus higher than Bahrain which only reaches 135m. And that's only counting the highest spot height on an OS map which is halfway up Queen Elizabeth Drive. Looking at contours I'd say Meridian High School is more like 165m above sea level, thus enough to beat the next two countries, but I'm trying to be precise here.
Charles Darwin's house at Downe and the airfield at RAF Kenley are 169m above sea level. They are thus both higher than Monaco which reaches 162m and also Singapore which reaches 164m.
Biggin Hill airport is 182m above sea level. It is thus higher than Denmark which only reaches 171m. Other locations to beat the whole of Denmark include Box Hill(172m) and Sanderstead Plantation(175m).
The highest point in London is Westerham Heights on the North Downs near Hawley's Corner. It is thus higher than the Micronesian archipelago of Palau whose highest point is Mount Ngerchelchuus (242m).
Other nations to be lower than London are Anguilla, Aruba, Kiribati, Macau, Nauru, Niue and Saint Pierre and Miquelon. That's approximately 20 less-elevated countries altogether.
To beat the next few we need to go beyond Greater London.
» Haddington Hill in the Chilterns (267m) is higher than Malta(253m).
» Leith Hill in Surrey (295m) is higher than Kuwait (291m) and Lithuania(294m).
» Cleeve Hill in the Cotswolds (330m) is higher than Latvia(312m) and Estonia(318m).
» Hergest Ridge in the Welsh Borders (427m) is higher than Gibraltar(426m).
» Dunkery Beacon in Somerset (519m) is higher than Uruguay(514m).
» Kinder Scout in the Peak District (636m) is higher than Luxembourg(560m).
» Great Whernside in the Yorkshire Dales (704m) is higher than Belgium(694m).
» Pen y Fan in the Brecon Beacons (886m) is higher than the Netherlands(870m).
» Scafell Pike in the Lake District (978m) is higher than Hong Kong(957m).
» Carnedd Dafydd in Snowdonia (1044m) is higher than Ireland(1039m).
» Snowdon(1085m) is higher than Bangladesh(1063m).
» Ben Nevis(1345m) is higher than Finland(1324m).
And at least 140 countries are higher than the United Kingdom, but let's not go there.
In this series I'm taking the train one stop beyond the Greater London boundary, getting off and seeing what's there. Today that means Whyteleafe, one stop beyond Kenley on trains to Caterham, and also Upper Warlingham, one stop beyond Riddlesdown on trains to East Grinstead. I'm doing the two together because they're only 250m apart, indeed two of the closest railway stations in Britain. What's more there's another station within half a mile and what's more the edge of Greater London is literally a stone's throw away. For suburban Surrey it's ridiculously well served.
What you can't see on this map are the contours which are seriously humpy hereabouts. The two railway lines run either side of the A22, one along the floor of a dry valley and the other higher up so it can escape the chalk slopes of the North Downs.
Originally the only station was Warlingham, now called Whyteleafe South. In 1884 a new station opened on the higher line, originally called Upper Warlingham and Whyteleafe but now just Upper Warlingham. In 1900 a new station opened on the lower line to better serve the village centre, this simply called Whyteleafe. None of the stations are in Warlingham but three stations called Whyteleafe Something would be silly.
Whyteleafe is a simple two platform affair and the place to go if you want a train to London Bridge. The adjacent level crossing is one of the few places between here and Purley that cars can cross the railway so it's just as well it doesn't flash into action too often. It sits at the foot of a long residential road called Whyteleafe Hill, not far from a coal tax post because that's how borderline this location has always been.
St Luke's church hides round the first bend, screened behind pine trees and a tall thatched lych gate. Stop off at the porch if you want Bubble Church or Knitting Ninjas, or continue through the churchyard to discover the large patch of war graves dedicated to the memory of those who served at RAF Kenley. The airfield's on the common a few minutes up the hill but I didn't like the look of the muddy climb, plus it's in London so I didn't have to go there.
Whyteleafe gained its name from a house beside the Godstone Road called Whyte Leaf, built in 1856 in a field full of whitebeam trees. It grew as a linear village when terraced houses for the benefit of workers at the local chalk pit and lime works spread out along what's now the A22. They're still here, giving Whyteleafe a baseline of relatively affordable housing below the many detacheds that dominate the upper slopes.
The traffic is fairly relentless, however, with pedestrians reduced to a handful of crossings or attempting to nip across during a quiet bit. The central crossroads now boasts a small roundabout to help speed things up and is overlooked by the Whyteleafe Tavern, a smart-ish pub that was forced to close a few months back for what the police politely called licence infractions.
As well as three railway stations Whyteleafe's high street is also served by three TfL buses, plus two Metrobus routes to Reigate or East Grinstead if you fancy a less frequent but more attractive journey. The shops are only half-decent because if you wanted something better you'd go to Caterham, but there are plenty of cafes, a trio of barber shops and a popular micropub called The Radius Arms.
I'm sad to report that Rosemary Ladies Fashion has finally closed down, having offered floral dresses and smart blouses for so long that the signboard out front still claims the telephone number is 'Upp.Warl. 5307'. I was also shocked to see that the price of cod at Salisbury's chippy has now breached the £10 barrier (whereas it's still £9.90 in Sanderstead and £9.50 at Hamsey Green).
Upper Warlingham station is barely a couple of minutes up the hill and the place to go if you want a train to London Victoria. It has a two-storey car park on the footprint of a former goods siding, some bookswap shelves and a better-staffed ticket office than Whyteleafe. Only the London-bound platform is gatelined, but also only the London-bound platform offers coffee-based refreshment because that's the busy one.
Just north of the station is an arched viaduct just wide enough for two lanes of traffic to pass through, and behind that the joys of Whyteleafe Recreation Ground, a broad swoosh of grass rising sharply into a rim of depleted trees. There isn't a flat surface anywhere so the football pitch has had to be fitted into the least curved dip, but the view from the playground is well worth the ascent. I would have climbed further but the skyline was muted by low mist so best not.
To the east of the railway a handful of residential roads climb steeply, spaced far enough apart that everyone must have a massive back garden. Succomb's Hill is by far the steepest, hitting 1 in 4 near its upper bend, but that's closest to Whyteleafe South station so beyond the remit of today's post. Most of the houses up here were built between the wars, with some later cul-de-sac infill where meadows were originally skipped.
None of the roads go direct and if you attempt to wander off piste only the occasional inclined footpath links top to bottom, so walking anywhere from the station is basically knackering. I slogged up Hillbury Road past a lengthy chain of mega-semis, also the detached fortress where reggae singer Smiley Culture lived (and mysteriously died during a police raid in 2011).
The heart of Warlingham is clustered round the old village green, and a much older settlement. Ye Olde White Lion is 15th century and still looks charmingly flinty, whereas ye Olde Leather Bottle is 18th century and has recently transformed into a shisha-friendly Turkish grill. For proper ancient try All Saints Church, most of which is 13th century, although I refuse to believe that the big yew tree in the churchyard is 2400 years old even if David Bellamy once signed a certificate saying it definitely was.
Where I went wrong was arriving on the day the Christmas lights were being switched on, which meant the Green and surrounding spaces were full of fairgroundfolk erecting stalls, bungee leaps and teacup rides. The illuminations looked fairly paltry but entrepreneurial locals had set up a gazebo to convert boxed merlot into mulled wine by the urnful, so hopefully by 5pm everyone was sloshed enough to be impressed.
What I learnt from all this is that Upper Warlingham station really should be called Lower Warlingham, being a mile downhill from the main action... or even better Upper Whyteleafe, if that's not even more overkill than already exists.
