The 23 is a Frankenstein of a bus route, comprising two halves of two routes bolted together after their Oxford Street ends had been amputated. It now operates between Westbourne Park and Hammersmith via a ridiculous S-shape route that grazes Mayfair, whereas any end-to-end traveller would find it far quicker to walk. Later this year TfL intend to kill off the stupid Hammersmith end and send the 23 back to Aldwych. But to kick off 2023 I thought I'd journey along the existing route stopping at every alternate stop, because by a fabulous coincidence that's precisely 23 stops in total. Think of this as an odyssey where half the interesting stuff is missing.
23 bus stops on route 23
Great Western Road
The 23 will be visiting the heights of luxury later in its travels, but not here at its first stop beneath a spike-topped wall outside a heavily graffitied health centre. An 0181 telephone number is displayed beneath the name of the surgery as if to emphasise how underfunded the NHS remains. I had to wait for 15 minutes to get this photo, during which time the day's rain finally kicked in, so I hope you appreciate the result.
Golborne Road
My second stop, and the 23's third, is at the foot of Goldfinger's iconic Trellick Tower. You don't get the best view from side-on but it's still pretty inspirational. The shopping parade here is mostly downbeat - a greasy spoon, a Costcutter, a library - but the vintage clothing and leather accessories at Vestige hint at more-than-creeping gentrification.
West Row
This is the side of Kensington most don't see, a hinterland of lowly Victoriana and council flats squashed up against the Grand Union Canal. But it's increasingly being infilled by blocky vernacular, or revitalised as 'contemporary workspace' like The Gramophone Works, and I reckon the Kensal Evangelical Church could make an absolute fortune if they sacrificed their shed of worship to the developers.
Kensal House
The House in question is a low curving modernist block built in 1937 for occupation by the working class, which was pretty radical back then. I wondered if the hoardings out front meant it was for the chop but given it's listed and RIBA-medalled I guess not. The French choux patisserie beside the bus stop is closed for Christmas and reopens on January 6th but is taking pre-orders for galettes des rois.
St Charles Square
A miraculous social transformation occurs on crossing the railway with the sudden appearance of fine three-storey terraced villas. I'm always suspicious of hanging baskets flourishing in midwinter. On this side of the road is North Kensington Fire Station and across the street a blue plaque for the delightfully named Hablot Knight Browne, aka 'Phiz', the illustrator of many a Charles Dickens novel.
Ladbroke Grove Station
We're now 11 stops in and we've only gone one stop on the tube. The 23 drops off outside the post office and, less obviously, a pharmacy with its own Instagram account. In a sign of the times the Grove Fish Bar (established 1963) has given up and boarded its windows while the Over Under brunch bar nextdoor looks in rude health. The Grenfell mosaics by the railway bridge help to keep local aspirations grounded.
Portobello Road
Bingo, the 23 lands in prime Richard Curtis country, somehow routed to squeeze through the world famous street market in one of its less antique-y sections. It stops in a sidestreet where locals do their real shopping, outside a newsagent's window full of architecture magazines and Harry Styles front covers, and opposite a wine merchants called Jereboams and a properly flourishing florist. The Big Issue seller looks up hopefully.
Chepstow Road/Westbourne Grove
That was the longest two-stop jump along the route and has delivered us to the less designery end of Westbourne Grove. hence there's a Co-Op as well as a Little Dobbies houseplant shop and a builders merchant as well as a framed print gallery. A 'vegetarian friendly restaurant' is coming soon, although I'm not sure that's as amazing a slogan as they hoped it was.
Porchester Terrace North
On one side are elegant Bayswater mansions, on the other side the Hallfield Estate, its fifteen stark blocks designed by Russian-born architect Berthold Lubetkin shortly after the Second World War. The River Westbourne once flowed this way, now buried in all but name. The Porchester is your last chance for a chic rustic pint before we hit Paddington.
Paddington Station/Eastbourne Terrace
Kerching, we've pulled up alongside the new Crossrail entrance at Paddington, not far from the lifts. This used to be where taxis dropped off and is now where Ubers unload and shoot off before any traffic wardens notice. The cloudscape imprinted on the 120m roof canopy was supposed to be an artistic wonder but still looks like a flock of pigeons landed and nobody's cleaned the glass since.
St Mary's Hospital
This stop's a ridiculously short distance after the last, which could also have been called St Mary's Hospital because the building's that long. A blue plaque on the corner invites you to look up to see the window of the second floor room where Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. The local shops are little units for tweaking your phone, fixing your hair or pawning your valuables.
George Street
Welcome to Edgware Road, the arrow-straight Roman thoroughfare that's since become a Middle Eastern quarter with almost as much Arabic on the shop signs as English. Only one bloke was so desperate for a smoke that he'd taken a damp seat on the green chairs outside the shisha lounge for a hookah puff. The local primary school is on such a tight site that its playground is stacked across six floors.
Marble Arch Station/Park Lane
We've finally reached the heart of the West End, but rather than heading usefully down Oxford Street the 23 diverts off down Park Lane and prepares to deflect away. Eleven different routes stop here and the provision of shelter is entirely inadequate on a rainy day. Watch the taxis pour by, watch the tourists floundering across the multi-lane carriageway to reach Hyde Park, and watch your valuables.
London Hilton Hotel
Only those with bottomless pockets stay here, hence the prestige jewellers in the lobby and 'the world's first corporate aviation showroom' nextdoor. BMWs and sporty Minis can be purchased nearby, and blimey route 23 really does span the financial spectrum. Across Park Lane the rides of Winter Wonderland are in full twirl, but you have to pity those who pre-booked their visit during this downpour.
Knightsbridge Station/Harrods
After 20 stops heading east we're now heading west for 18. We're also in peak rich tourist territory, not quite down the right street to be able to enjoy looking at Harrods' window displays but close enough to be mixing with families dressed top-to-toe in branded fashion. The glass monstrosity opposite is One Hyde Park, the Candys' luxury apartment complex, whose tenants might be looking down on you if only they were in.
Prince of Wales Gate
We're still rounding Hyde Park, the gate in question being a minor exit from South Carriage Drive with a 2.4m width restriction. Alight here for the Great Exhibition, although you may be a bit late for that. I'd love to tell you about the embassies up Princes Gate but technically they're served by the next stop, Exhibition Road, and that's the problem with only being able to write about alternate stops...
Royal Albert Hall
...whereas this is a bullseye, the stop outside the world famous concert rotunda. I'm surprised they've only rolled up their purple Platinum Jubilee banners, not taken then down. The hard-to-love concrete building alongside is the Royal College of Art, and has been since 1963, while the golden spike across the road is of course the Albert Memorial. Services to Bracknell depart from the adjacent coach stop.
Kensington Palace
Not that the Royal Family ever need to catch a bus, nor any of the billionaires that inhabit Kensington Palace Gardens, but their staff sometimes do. This is the eleventh stop adjacent to Hyde Park, or more correctly here Kensington Gardens, as the folly of route 23 becomes increasingly apparent. Sorry, it's hard to see much out of a bus's window on a wet day when they're fully steamed up.
Phillimore Gardens
In a coincidental quirk I blogged about Phillimore Gardens just before Christmas. It's supposedly the most expensive street in the UK, and here we are pausing at the bus stop named after it. This micro-stretch of Kensington High Street has a remarkable number of stores selling rugged outerwear or international travel. But it also has a Wilko and an Oxfam so we are gently nudging back into less well-off territory.
Warwick Gardens
The shop adjacent to this bus stop, as you'll see from its red neon sign, specialises in Iranian Caviar. Hundreds of blue tins are stacked in the window, and also out front on some astroturf watched over by the shopkeeper and a small fibreglass shark. A blue plaque nextdoor claims this was the home of Jack The Ripper, but given Dr S.S.A. Hasbro (surgeon and restauranteur) never existed it can only be a shameless fake.
North End Road
This is the bus stop for the Olympia exhibition centre, whose southern flank is currently a mix of hoardings and girdered voids while the interior gets a longterm makeover. In the Tesco Express opposite the shelves facing the street are packed with dozens and dozens of Cadbury Easter eggs, with Dairy Milk at one end and Twirl at the other, and the only reason I can think of for stocking up now is that the price might have risen by April.
Latymer Court
Latymer Court is a behemoth of a mansion block, indeed when it opened in 1934 it was the largest single luxury block of flats in Europe. Sprawled across almost four acres, it hopefully looks more appealing within than it does out front. Facing it is Nazareth House, a Catholic care home runs by nuns with a history on this site dating back to 1857. We're nearly there now.
Hammersmith Bus Station
And finally, after a sinuous wiggle lasting well over an hour, here we are less than three miles from where we started. The 23 turfs out into the claustrophobic confines of the upper bus station, and will continue to do so until TfL finally send it back to Aldwych. That day can't come too soon, but I could never have written about 23 alternate stops in 2023 if they'd rationalised it earlier.
