Sun 1: If you're putting together a 'Joyridden Cars Smashed Into Bus Shelters' Calendar, this is the ideal photo for November.
Mon 2: I've been enjoying the podcast Uncharted with Hannah Fry in which the BBC's go-to mathematician tells tales of important breakthroughs based on lines on graphs (it's really a 10 part documentary series broadcast daily at 1.45pm on Radio 4, but they call those podcasts now). Tue 3: Supermarket update: My local Tesco has stopped selling Tunnocks Caramel Wafers and I stood in mourning by the depleted shelves for at least a minute. The 'chocolate biscuit' section keeps shrinking and the selection is now pretty poor. Wed 4: Worse than the government scrapping the northern leg of HS2 is their intent to sell off the land (and to cut Euston back to six High Speed platforms) to ensure no future government can build it either. Thu 5: I spotted BestMate'sOtherHalfFrom21YearsAgo on the escalator at Piccadilly Circus, and time has not been kind. Fri 6: I wondered why the dogwalker ahead of me on the Grand Union Canal was suddenly retracing his steps back along the towpath. "Aggressive goose", he said. Unfortunately that meant a two mile detour, so I gave up and went back to the pub.
Sat 7: You can't take a bike in the rear carriage on the train to Sudbury, mainly because the platform's too short but compounded by the aisles on Greater Anglia's new trains being ridiculously narrow. Sun 8: We had a power cut today and afterwards I noticed my toaster wasn't working, the handle refused to stay down. Sigh, I thought, but it's served me well. After several failed brownings I went out and bought a replacement, and eventually got round to reading the instruction booklet. "The loading handle will not latch if your toaster is not connected to the mains supply," it said. This was when I realised I'd dislodged the plug when I reset the clock on my microwave, so I now have two functioning toasters, one of them entirely unnecessary. Mon 9: Today in Willesden I learned that temporary traffic lights aren't set up to cope with funeral cortèges, because by the time the hearse had cleared the roadworks our light had turned back from green to red. Tue 10: Please don't splutter chunks of your omelette into my drinking chocolate. Wed 11: I have no idea why Dr de Cogan decided to copy me into his email request to the Tower Hamlets Local History Library and Archives enquiring about burial records from 1852, but I can confirm they're so efficient they emailed back a scanned copy of the register in less than half an hour.
Thu 12: Two years after the Monier Road bridge was opened to pedestrians, the access road into the Olympic Park is finally ready. Today I watched a forklift truck shuffling concrete blocks at the junction with Sweetwater Place. But after all that expense and all that effort it's only going to be used by bikes and buses (a mere eight vehicles an hour). Route 339 is to be diverted across the bridge, as first proposed in a consultation way back in 2019, starting on Saturday 18th November. Fri 13: She got on the train at Vauxhall, arranged her purchases on the adjacent seat and smiled at her dog as he lay down in the middle of the aisle. When I stood up to alight at Queenstown Road I thought she'd notice and get the dog to move out of the way but no. Instead I had to launch myself diagonally across the seats to avoid stepping on the mound of fur blocking my exit, and even then she never looked up, not even when I glared back down the carriage and said 'Thanks'.
Sat 14: I had a dream about the Queen last night and it actually was the Queen, it was Camilla, so even my subconscious has successfully updated. Sun 15: I got something in my eye walking down Stratford High Street, and I hoped I'd got it out but it continued to niggle. I extracted it really carefully when I got home and it looked like a shrivelled calyx, the centre of a long dead blossom, maybe 7mm across, which must have floated down in the wind. With its five points and central nub it had fitted perfectly into the corner of my eye, and also thankfully lifted out cleanly with no subsequent ill effects. But watch out, autumn can be dangerous. Mon 16: Tesco's finest teabags come in twos which you have to tear before dunking, and this month I've had to throw away several because they ripped at an angle and the leaves fell out. I can't work out whether the manufacturers are now cutting corners by removing the perforations or whether I've just got a duff box. Tue 17: To help answer the question "where was the dull place you didn't blog about?", here's the only picturesque view of the dull place.
Wed 18: I got a phone call from my insurers. "We sent you a quote last week," they said, "do you want to renew?" But even though they'd sent it by first class post it hadn't arrived (and still hasn't) so it's lucky they rang or I'd be at risk by now. Thu 19: A new cafe opened today on Bow Road in the old Barclays Bank building. It's hard to tell what it is from outside because the only signage is the name - Grounded Bow - and even the company's website still thinks they've only got one branch in Whitechapel. Scrutinising Instagram I see it's a cushions and sourdough kind of place, with a halloumi and pistachio vibe, so not somewhere I'll be hanging out. But I can't emphasise enough what a novelty this is for Bow Road, an undeniable bud of gentrification, and already attracting a local crowd.
Fri 20: For posterity's sake, here's my Dad's 85th birthday cake (a wrapped slab of Jane Asher). I love that the plastic numbers are the same as I had on the cakes for my 8th and 15th. Sat 21: I tuned into Steve Wright's first attempt at hosting Pick of the Pops, and the biggest difference is that Paul Gambaccini always sounded like he knew what he was talking about and Steve sounds like he's reading facts off a script. Sun 22: I had a go at the Metro Memory Game everyone's talking about and there were only two I couldn't name, but they were balanced out by the two the game's designer had forgotten to include. It is therefore possible to score a maximum of 100.3% (although that's no comfort if you're still struggling in the low sixties). Mon 23: There are suddenly Palestinian flags hanging from most of the lampposts on Bow Road, and from the Bow Flyover, and even a few along the A12. It's nothing to do with the council, it's entirely unofficial (and it's amazing that it'll take three days before BBC London News can report 'Tower Hamlets: Palestinian flags removed amid police concern').
Tue 24: When they say "Bakers, you have one minute left" on GBBO, I don't for one minute believe that all the subsequent finishing-off was carried out in the last minute. Wed 25: Supermarket update: Last Christmas Tesco's cheapest mince pies were 99p for 6. This year when they reappeared in September they were £1.50, and now for some reason they're £1.25, and even so food inflation is still wild. Thu 26: Look, if you're going to buy a Full English and then not eat the hash browns and most of the sausages, can I have them? Thanks. Fri 27: Yes, but some of those suggestions are just things that annoy you, not actually things you'd tut at. Sat 28: Emily, who sent the promotional email about the <Made-Up Tourist Awards Ceremony 2023> which I mentioned in my recent PR roundup, has now sent seven follow-up emails. I'm worried that her deadline is still a month away so she could still send seven more. Sun 29: I arrived at Vauxhall (National Rail) station wanting to get to Waterloo, so the key question was 'which of the four staircases do I go up to catch the first train?' According to the display downstairs I needed platform 2 for the 14:31, but it was already 14:31 so when I got upstairs it had left. I should instead have headed to platform 7 but because I was now on platform 2 there was nothing to tell me about platform 7. It was then announced that the 14:37 on platform 2 had been diverted to platform 5 so I crossed the station only to find the staircase to platform 5 blocked off with a huge sign saying 'Platform closed'. But the 14:37 did indeed arrive on platform 5, so the passengers pouring off had to move the barrier out of the way to escape onto the concourse, and now I'd missed that train too. Only by searching for a hidden display board did I discover that the next next train was leaving from platform 7, and basically what I'm saying is that Vauxhall has entirely inadequate signage.
Mon 30: All the giraffes from the Croydon Stands Tall trail, which has just finished, are being stored in an empty shop unit in Centrale and look like they're queueing for something. Tue 31: My eldest nephew has finally set a date for his wedding - congrats - and oh god I shall be in my 60s when that happens.
