100 things I saw in Chorleywood (all south of the railway, so nothing common)
Ten Signs
Welcome to Chorleywood (Twinned with Dardilly), 'No foraging', a street sign referencing Chorleywood Urban District Council (dissolved 1974), 'Private Road Access Only', a poster for the Summer Squeeze fete at Clement Danes School in support of the UK Sepsis Trust (today from 10am), Footpath 30 to Mill End, Dog Kennel Lane, warning that dumping rubbish contravenes the Refuse Disposal (Amenity) Act 1978, 'Black ice' warning triangle, Neighbourhood Watch (but I got away with taking dozens of photos anyway).
Ten Things Seen In Front Gardens
Man buffing his SEAT Cupra, a tall thick hedge ensuring one neighbour definitely can't see the other, several entrance gates with 12-button pads, pond watched over by stone heron, driveway with five cars and double garage, little circular mirrors, astroturf lawn letting the side down, delivery driver in Slipknot t-shirt fuelled by cans of full-sugar Pepsi, black Subaru Forester with three-character registration plate, swimming pool.
Ten Wildlife Observations
A deep beechy dell with a rope swing, pigeon, red kite, footpath through a notch cut in a treetrunk, acorns because autumn is nigh, beech mast ditto, The Hall Farm ('Chorleywood's finest Aberdeen Angus beef'), lost cat poster ('Kevin is very special to me, he's like family'), tubs of pristine flowers lining the shopping parade, Pheasant's Wood.
Ten Retail Spots
Saturday lad washing windscreens in front of Heronsgate Motors, family bakery making the point that their bread is preservative free (no Chorleywood process here), the splendid independent Chorleywood Bookshop (although from outside you'd assume they were the Chorleywood Greetingscardshop), abandoned bubble tea cafe, salon called Ladies Paradise, workmen renovating the interior of A&E Newsagents (sign in window - 'We Are Still Open For Newspapers Thankyou'), bakery who claim to have been baking since 1838 (though technically in Hatfield), Turkish deli, fried chicken takeaway, off-licence.
Ten Things That Are Very Chorleywood
A Tesla pulling a horsebox, umpteen large detached houses strung out along a lane unsuitable for heavy goods vehicles, Little Manor (the perfect house name for many Chorleywood properties), little white gates at the entrance to the village, 4-bed detached pebbledashed mansion, hedges bristling with holly because that's the civilised suburban defence of choice, isolated parade of shops consisting of interior designer/beauty salon/Italian restaurant, Residents Association noticeboard alerting residents to 18 potential sites for development (Catlips Farm 440 homes!), beech-hedged cut-through, estate agents' window where cheapest property costs £1,050,000.
Ten More Signs
School motto in Comic Sans ('Happy and successful'), 10% gradient, 'Reservoir Roof Weight limit (Pedestrian Lawn Mowers Only)', poster alerting residents that Hate Crime Prevents Self Expression, 'No galloping on verge', Hertfordshire County of Discovery, Three Rivers Fairtrade District, The Chiltern Way, do not half-park on the roundabout, 'CCTV Surveillance of Road and Properties'.
Ten Transport Encounters
A bus timetable for route R2 dated January 2018 (which I assumed was out of date but no), the M25 crossing a country lane on a broad concrete viaduct supported by four dozen pillars, Amazon van delivering to farmhouse, "Please note this bus stop is not currently served by any local passenger buses", Chiltern train crossing a bridge with 14ft headroom, single track road with passing places, nasty encounter with tractor on a blind bend, the terminus of the 322 bus (previously the 385, which 7-year old me would be thrilled to know I've finally visited), a Waitrose delivery van, a passing police car probably wondering why I was taking notes.
Ten House Names
Yarrowslea, Whitestacks, Washacum, Upmeade, Soundgarden, Rorkes Drift, Rompeolas, Meadowsteep, Ladyacre, Five Moons.
Ten Heritage Throwbacks Penn Cottage where William Penn (of Pennsylvania fame) was married in 1672, a Grade II* listed brick wall, Dungeons Farm (as creepy as it sounds), The Stag (old pub serving prosecco to the nouveau riche), lovely black and white fingerpost, Shire Lane (which formed the boundary between Hertfordshire and Buckinghamshire until 1991), two thatched cottages, George V pillarbox (installed in Metro-land era), the self-build house on Berry Lane where Len Rawle installed his Wurlitzer organ ("Mellifluating out from modern brick, the pipe-dream of a local man" [Sir John Betjeman, 1973]), a turquoise breadbin on the porch step at The Orchard("That knocker, Voysey. A typical curious shaped handle, Voysey. And this handle or iron hinge with what seems to be his signature tune, the heart. It’s there at the end of the hinge, it’s here round the letterbox, Voysey." [Sir John Betjeman, 1973]).
Ten Final Sightings
'Go Vegan' graffiti, vast house with triple garage, the distant Chess valley, The Swillet (weeny engulfed hamlet), row of 14 actual terraced houses (rare for Chorleywood), man my age wearing Watford FC t-shirt, small triangle of leftover woodland surrounded by detached houses, 2 mile-long winding country lane (at the other end of which I used to go to Saturday morning music school), Scott Mills' house, Heronsgate 251 reservoir pumping station.
