45 Squared 38) CHELMSFORD SQUARE, NW10
Borough of Brent, 120m×50m
The most interesting square in Brent is White Horse Square, the Orwellian plaza above Wembley Stadium station where electronic billboards relentlessly ask passers-by to snitch on anyone who looks a bit suspicious. I didn't fancy risking that, also one of the other four squares had a name which made me think "oh I totally have to go to that one". So I went to Chelmsford Square. I'd be interested to know if you've ever been to a Square with the same name as the town you went to yesterday.
It lies in the hinterland between Willesden, Brondesbury and Kensal Green, most probably the latter although the Ordnance Survey used to mark it as Brondesbury Park. If you're local I'd be interested to know in which geographical camp you think it falls. It's a 1930s construction, as is screamingly obvious from the half-timbered houses and herringbone brickwork. It's really quiet, this because it's not a cut-through in any way, being safely wedged between the two main streets of All Souls Avenue and Chamberlayne Road. And it's not square, indeed only one of the 38 Squares I've blogged so far has actually had equal sides so that shouldn't come as a surprise. If you know of any good square Squares I'd be interested to know.
Let me try to describe the local street pattern. Imagine Chelmsford Square as an ice lolly but also with a shorter stick poking out the top. Then imagine it's hanging from a washing line inside a wigwam, attached via a small triangular clip. Two equidistant ropes hang below the washing line but they've been cut on both sides of the lolly, each ending in a small circular knot. If you now look at an actualmap I'd be interested to know whether your mental picture in any way matches NW10 reality.
The name Chelmsford Square comes from Viscount Chelmsford who was Viceroy of India from 1916 to 1921. He died in 1933 so would have been up for commemoration around the time the square was built. Two other Viceroys of India are namechecked in adjacent streets, Baron Hardinge and Baron Irwin, while Amery Gardens must be named after Leopold Amery who was Secretary of State for the Colonies in the 1920s. As for Phillimore Gardens I think a colonel of that name retired as India's Surveyor General in 1931 but I'm not sure, and I'd be interested to know what you make of Egerton Gardens and Trevelyan Gardens because their namesakes look to be more Madras-related than India-wide.
There are 20 pairs of semi-detached houses in Chelmsford Square, numbered from 1 to 41 down one side and 2 to 40 down the other. You might think that makes 41 homes rather than 40 but this is because the odd side jumps from 11 to 15, and I'd be interested to know whether any of you live in a street with number 13 missing.
The square's claim to fame locally is that it's where you go to play tennis. Originally there were six courts but now there are just four, the top pair having been removed and replaced by a mound of shrubbery. The courts fit almost perfectly inside the central footprint with just enough room for footpaths up each side, one much narrower than the other. Several signs warn that the courts are to be used "for tennis only" and the gates are firmly secured with a digital lock to make sure you can't get in unless you've paid your £8. All four courts are booked between 10am and 11am this morning, which must be half-term related, but are broadly available after that. Ridiculously the Lawn Tennis Association will even let you book the 6pm-7pm slot tonight, and I'd be interested to know if you've ever booked something without realising you'd be thwarted by the lack of daylight.
I like reading municipal noticeboards, although the board at the south end of the square has been poorly angled so you can only read it if you step into a palm tree. I learned that one of the local councillors is called Mr Hack. I learned that if you have any questions about dog fouling you should ring 020 8937 5619. I learned that the humpy mound is designated as a Quiet Garden which means No Ball Games, No Music and (obviously) No Noisy Activities. I learnt that Brent council strongly advise you wash your hands before and after using the tennis courts because they still haven't taken down their Covid signage. And I learnt that the leaving of litter is prohibited, so when I found a forgotten tennis ball I picked it up and took it home. I'd be interested to know the best freebie you ever found in a public park.
Amongst the other items of minor interest in Chelmsford Square are a small electricity substation, a single tuft of pampas grass, a freestanding basketball hoop, a half-open litter bin, some Michaelmas daisies, several ornamental bay windows, municipal topiary, a freestanding solar panel, a three hour parking restriction, four alleyways and a long hoarding advertising the services of Queens Park Design and Build. Perhaps Chelmsford Square was more interesting than White Horse Square after all, and I'd be interested to know if you've ever visited a non-entity suburban backwater and managed to squeeze a 1000-word blogpost out of it.
