Yesterday I went to four museums run by outer SW London boroughs.
You can only do all four on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday.
Below is my summary addressed across seven categories.
I also awarded a score out of five to help me decide which is best.
Museum of Richmond Open: Tue-Fri 11-5, Sat 10-4 (closed Sun, Mon) Address: 2nd Floor, Old Town Hall, Richmond, TW9 1TP Website:museumofrichmond.com
Building: Top floor of the Old Town Hall, bang in the town centre near Richmond Bridge. Feels very 'Victorian but upgraded in the 1980s', i.e. an out-of-date marble warren with glum stairs. Welcome: Full-on greeting at the desk starting with the mandated question "Have you been before?", then a scripted summary, then a strong hint that donations are appreciated. Galleries: One big long room with various alcoves. Separate temporary exhibition space behind entrance. Feels like it's not been updated much since the Queen opened it in 1988. History: Richmond overflows with history, kicking off with a Tudor palace and skipping on through Georgian buildings, Victorian expansion and the World Wars. Pretty much nothing post-1945. Detailed background information to read. Ignores everything in the borough west of the Thames because that's the domain of Twickenham Museum instead. Stuff: Plenty of cabinets and old things. Bits of old masonry, models, palace remnants, obligatory pots and jars, innards of workhouse clock, WW2 bomb map. Bamber Gascoigne narrates a video. Extras: Little gift shop. Exhibition of colourful artistic quilts that was supposed to close at the end of September but they haven't replaced it yet. Family trails updated monthly. Regular programme of events including talks, LEGO Club and crafty workshops. Summary: The whole place feels loved and creative, if a bit behind the times. ★★★⯨
→ catch a half-hourly train or take the 65 bus →
Kingston Museum Open: Thu-Sat 10-5 (closed Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed) Address: Wheatfield Way, Kingston upon Thames KT1 2PS Website:kingstonheritage.org.uk
Building: Purpose-built in 1904 alongside a Carnegie Library, bang in the town centre near the shops. Looks very museum-y from the dual carriageway. Welcome: Bit of a nod from the bloke on the desk. No pressure. Galleries: Just the three, plus a separate art gallery upstairs. First 'Ancient Origins' which includes a very old Saxon log boat. Then the larger 'Town of Kings', which kicks off with an unconvincing Athelstan waxwork. The Eadweard Muybridge gallery is more of a connecting corridor. All feels very very old school. History: Kingston overflows with history, much of it much earlier than Richmond's. Few other towns can compete with 'several kings were crowned here'. But there's more in several themed displays around the central mock-up of the Market House, some of it period-related and much of it connected to famous residents. Eadweard's pioneering photography deserves its elevated status. Stuff: Plenty of it including dug-up-stuff, military stuff, a workplace clock and a model of old Kingston. Hurrah there's a map where you press a button and a red light lights up, because all museums of a certain age had those. Also look out for Snappity the museum mascot, a mechanical wooden toy made by the Sopwith Aviation Company in 1919, not an actual crocodile. Extras: The only exhibition that changes is upstairs in the Art Gallery, where a celebration of the fashion Haus of Sibling should have been cleared away by now but hasn't. Also I managed to finish the Knit Wits puzzle trail despite the oddly worded clues and the extremely obvious solution. Summary: It's lovely that it's still here, but feels even more behind the times than Richmond. ★★★
Building: 17th century Wandle Cottage overlooks Carshalton Ponds, and is by far the loveliest building in the loveliest location of any of these four museums. Welcome: Would have been charming except the lady on the desk was chatting as I slipped in so instead I got a charming goodbye. Galleries: It's a former family home so has loads of rooms, each differently themed, from the table-centred billiard room to the bedroom full of old toys. Quite a lot of narrow stairs to negotiate, which only adds to the atmosphere unless you can't get around easily, in which case be aware that the age of the building mitigates against a lift. History: It turns out that the borough of Sutton has a quite a history, although most of that is "rural idyll with lavender farms gets swallowed up by nation's capital." Every part of the borough gets a fair shot, be it Beddington, Cheam or wherever, which alas isn't the case in the other three borough museums. Stuff: Art and photographs are doing a lot of heavy lifting here, also objects that might typically have been found anywhere from Victorian times onwards. There are perhaps more old things at Sutton's other historic museum which is Whitehall in Cheam. Extras: I couldn't get into one room because the fortnightly embroidery group were holding court. I could get into the garden, the art gallery, the little shop and the cosy cafe, which because it's Oktober has 6% German lager on tap. The volunteers that run the place have truly created a buzzing little hub. Summary: Local and charming, which when you have a history like Sutton's is the best you can hope for. No spoilers, but it's my favourite of the four. ★★★★
→ catch the SL7 bus →
Museum of Croydon Open: Wed-Sat 10-4.30 (closed Sun, Mon, Tue) Address: Katharine Street, Croydon CR9 1ET Website:museumofcroydon.com
Building: Part of the redbrick 19th-century town hall which looks suitably grand outside, but once inside it's just a big modern space subdivided for municipal reasons and architecturally bland. Welcome: Nothing in the shared lobby, which was quite busy with librarygoers. But if you make it upstairs an underused bloke sits at a welcome desk covered with leaflets, and he was lovely but heaven knows why a bankrupt council pays for him to be there. Galleries: Three. One was out of bounds because they were clearing out the Grayson Perry exhibition. One has a new exhibition called Shaping Croydon celebrating placemaking and identity. And the other one's entirely separate downstairs with a permanent collection of old artefacts bequeathed to the council in 1964. The interesting upstairs gallery with the bubblecar I remember from my last visit appears to have been emptied and/or sequestrated. Stuff: The downstairs collection includes some Anglo-Saxon remnants but most of the items are old European artefacts of zero local relevance. The Shaping Croydon gallery has enjoyable ephemera from the opening of the 12-sided NLA Tower and an old film but is seriously devoid of broader coverage. I actually asked the nice bloke on the way out if that was it, and alas it was. History: Croydon's a fascinating borough but you'd never guess from this vacuous space. In particular Shaping Croydon feels like a council ego trip filling as large a space as possible with occasional photos, post-its and buzzwords. The Mayor's very pleased with it, but the emperor has no clothes. Extras: No. You could get a book out nextdoor I guess. Summary: The council has more urgent things to fund, and it shows. Still, at least it still has a borough museum which is more than Barnet, Camden, Greenwich, Hammersmith & Fulham, Hillingdon, Kensington & Chelsea, Lambeth, Lewisham, Merton, Tower Hamlets, Wandsworth and Westminster do. ★
20 things we learnt from TfL FoI requests in September 2026
1) Since Superloop routes were introduced, the most used is the SL8 (22.7m passengers) followed by the SL9 (12.7m) and SL7 (10.5m). Already twice as many people have ridden the SL11 (2.2m, introduced January 2026) than have ridden the SL6 (1.1m, introduced July 2023). 2) The estimated final cost for Ickenham's new disabled car park is £1.88m. This is 25% higher than the estimate given in an FoI response a year ago. It equates to £625,000 per parking space. 3) The total cost of withdrawing bus route 347 was £13,325 (consultation £8400, removing seven bus stops £1225, removing timetables £700, changing e-tiles at bus stops £3000). 4) The most common bus-train interchange at Putney Bridge is from the last stop on route 265 to the station. The least common interchange is from bus route 424 at bus stop FH to the station. 5) There are no plans to use double deckers on route 108 due to the height restrictions in the Blackwall Tunnel, obviously.
6) 46% of roads on the TfL Road Network have a 20mph speed limit, up from 14% in 2021. 7) The new Piccadilly line trains are expected to use a synthetic (text-to-speech) voice for on-board announcements. There are no current plans to use this voice on any other train stocks. 8) 36 people work in the TfL pensions fund department, of whom 10 have line management responsibility. 9) Central, Jubilee, Northern, Victoria and all sub-surface lines are fitted with LCF (Low Coefficient of Friction) stick lubrication applied to the wheel flange root of selected wheelsets on every train. All lines use the same lubricant, "KELSAN LCF" manufactured by L.B. Foster. 10) The calming pod being trialled at Ealing Broadway station is not bomb-proof.
11) Once the scrappage of old DLR trains recommences in early 2027, TfL expect to be removing between two and four vehicles every 5 weeks. 12) The cycle hire docking station that's most usually full is Chadwell Street, Angel (18 spaces). The docking station that's most usually empty is Queen Street, Bank (36 spaces). 13) Of TfL's portfolio of 900 railway arches across London, 102 have been empty for over a year. 14) The total operating cost for the Woolwich Ferry in 2025/26 was £11.3m. 15) TfL have stopped sharing audio announcements via FoI requests because "basically people are using the voice on AI tools to get the voice artist to say anything they want which very obviously impacts on the voice artists' commercial interests in a variety of ways."
16) Last year there were 1,984,485 hires of Santander bikes in Westminster, 21% of which were e-bikes. The borough with the second highest total was Tower Hamlets with 1,213,015 hires, 16% of which were e-bikes. 17) The TfL mode with the highest CO₂ per passenger kilometre, by far, is Buses with 65.8gCO₂e/pkm. All other modes have emissions between 22 and 31, the lowest being the Tube with 22.8gCO₂e/pkm. 18) Expected completion dates for future railway projects (subject to planning, funding etc) are as follows: West London Orbital (2035), Old Oak Common Elizabeth line (2036-2039), DLR Thamesmead extension ("in the 2030s"), Bakerloo line extension (2040), Crossrail 2 (early 2050s). 19) The DfT are part-funding a two-year upgrade programme to build barcode readers directly into some TfL ticket gates. In the meantime handheld scanners are in use at the six stations experiencing the highest volume of barcoded tickets, namely Farringdon, Finsbury Park, Kentish Town, Moorgate, Old Street and Stratford. 20) TfL are not able to tell you "how many completed fares Uber has completed in the West Lancashire area since they have been operating in that region" and suggest you contact West Lancashire council instead.
This month's most obsessive request: a 1673-word submission about repairs to Barons Court station which ends thus: "The correct response was not “TfL is not aware.” The correct response was: we will inspect the station, investigate the defects, and challenge those who inspected or signed this work off. That is your duty. It is not my duty to assemble a case file for you. I have already told you what is on site: flaking and chipped paint, rust coming through, overcoating without proper preparation, furniture paint failing, and a colour scheme that has not been justified. In your own letter you accepted that chipped paint on newly painted platform furniture requires remedial action. You cannot accept that and then declare yourselves unaware of the rest. I am not required to keep sending photographs and videos in order to make TfL look at its own station. Your attachment limits are your problem. If you need to see the defects, send someone to the platform. I expect named responsibility, documents and inspection. I do not expect another letter that protects the organisation and writes as if I had not seen the station."
It's the first of October, one of the less consequential starts to a new month.
April 1st means foolishness and financial beginnings.
May 1st means dancing, witchcraft and socialism.
December 1st means Advent, chocolate and red ribbons.
But October 1st means nothing much because the September/October interface is mostly meaningless.
I tried researching reasons why October 1st might be of importance.
• It's Lincolnshire Day, Nigerian Independence Day and the National Day of the People's Republic of China
• It's International Music Day, International Coffee Day and World Vegetarian Day
• It's the start of Black History month
• It's one of the four days when Ofgem adjusts the energy price cap
• It's roughly World Poetry Day (1st Thursday in October)
• It's just after Michaelmas (September 29th), one of the historic quarter days
• It's when the summer season at a lot of UK attractions ends
• It's around the time universities go back (but most already have)
• It's approximately harvest festival time
...but none of those are truly culturally significant, especially here in the UK.
I tried doing the same for the other 1sts of the month:
January 1st: new year, New Year's Day, public holiday, resolutions, cultural reset; the night before: Hogmanay, full-on partying, honours; around now: shortest days, sales, Twelfth Night February 1st: nothing much; around now: Candlemas March 1st: St David's Day, meteorological spring; the night before: maybe a Leap Day April 1st: April Fools Day, new financial year; around now: new tax year May 1st: May Day, morris dancing, International Workers Day, public holiday; the night before: Beltane June 1st: meteorological summer; around now: public holiday July 1st: nothing much; around now: Wimbledon, shortest nights August 1st: Lammas; around now: harvest begins, school holidays underway, Edinburgh Festival September 1st: meteorological autumn, back to school, back to work; around now: public holiday October 1st: nothing much; around now: Michaelmas November 1st: All Saints' Day; the night before: Hallowe'en, Samhain; around now: clocks go back, fireworks December 1st: Advent calendars, Christmas season, World AIDS Day, meteorological winter; the night before: St Andrew's Day around now: Advent
The most important month changeover is clearly December/January, followed I'd say by August/September and November/December, followed by April/May and October/November.
In fact, let's try to rank all the firsts of the month...
Most culturally important: January 1st Notably culturally important: September 1st, December 1st Quite culturally important: May 1st, November 1st Somewhat culturally important: March 1st, April 1st Marginally culturally important: June 1st, August 1st Barely culturally important: February 1st, July 1st, October 1st
Pinch, punch, and nobody really cares it's the first of the month.
Tue 1: It's been the UK's hottest summer on record, and I wonder if in 10 years time we'll all be looking forward to September when temperatures finally cool down. Wed 2: If you fancy another daily game to play, try the slightly-unusual world of enclose-horse. Every day you have a set number of walls to place to enclose as much area as possible without letting the horse escape. Extra points for fruit, avoid the bees, and see if you can get the day's optimal score. (it's not a very good example today, sorry, try this one from three days ago) Thu 3: It's that time of year again when I walk out of BestMate's house into a spider's web that definitely wasn't there two hours ago (and then spend the entire journey home wondering if I've brushed everything off). Fri 4: Four months ago the family tortoise escaped from my Dad's back garden, having worked out how to clamber over the edge of her new run. Disaster! Beyond the hedge is open countryside so we thought that'd be the last we'd see of her, which is a bit galling after 45 years of feeding her cucumber and leaves. Amazingly today we found her again hiding in the hedge, none the worse for wear but in need of fattening up before autumn hibernation. Never give up hope...
Sat 5: Celebrity spotting 1: Seen round the back of Kenwood House from the 310 bus, the actual Richard E Grant, actor and star of Celebrity Traitors. I was particularly impressed that I recognised him first from the back of his head (then confirmed it was him when he walked past the bus). Sun 6: I was sitting on the sofa reading when I heard an unusual scratching noise to my left. I looked round... and a squirrel was hanging off the side of my armchair! On seeing me thankfully it darted back out of the French windows rather than engaging in a panicked orgy of destruction across my living room. It's not been back since, but I am now oddly reticent to leave the door open just in case. Mon 7: Usually the pavement outside Bow Road station is covered in conkers by now but hardly any of them have fallen yet. I blame the dry weather. Tue 8: Exactly 50 years ago The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin was first shown on BBC2, so tonight BBC4 obliged with a reshowing. Super. Also I appear to have written the definitive post on where Reggie's house was, as over 200 viewers discovered during the programme. Great. Wed 9: Celebrity spotting 2: Seen on the concourse at Euston station, the actual Tom Daley, diver and star of Celebrity Traitors. All trains had been cancelled so he was standing around in a crowd of hundreds of other delayed souls (and wearing some impressively flared trousers). Thu 10: It's not every day you find yourself sitting opposite a falcon on the District line. It was being transported by a lady from London Falconry (and yes it was in a wheeled box, she didn't have it out sitting on a gauntlet). Fri 11: Celebrity spotting 3: After taking a photo of a tile-edged roundel at Clapham South station, I stepped aside to let someone go past. And it was only Siddy Holloway, TfL's official Goddess of Tiles, so I very much hope she approved.
Sat 12: There was only one Open House visit I didn't tell you about, an architects' practice by the Regent's Canal. I spent most of my time not exploring the building but having a lovely chat with 75 year-old artist Hilary about a Cohousingdevelopment in Barnet. She loves living there, and we agreed that loads more people would retire this way if it took less than 18 years to set up. Sun 13: Celebrity spotting 4: Seen on the platform at St Margaret's station, the actual Pete Townshend, rock guitarist from The Who. My antennae were first raised because he was wearing exceptionally shiny shoes (and confirmed when he started talking about guitars). Mon 14: Pink recycling bags were actually available at Whitechapel Idea Store, and you could see the shock and surprise on the faces of the happy souls grabbing a roll. Tue 15: Ah, the conkers are now well scattered outside Bow Road station, indeed one very nearly fell on my head as I walked past this morning. I'm still wondering where to plant it. Wed 16: It's been over a year since anyone on public transport offered me a seat, so thanks to the 20-something in Kappa trackies on the Elizabeth line but no thanks. (I've reset my counter to zero...) Thu 17: In this week's unashamedly posh Standard newspaper, a double-page spread of 26 fashionable Must Buys For The New Season. Average price £439 (cheapest item £35 socks, most expensive item a £4250 handbag). Last week it was "affordable" skiing holidays. I don't know why they bother distributing copies outside Plaistow station, it's very much not aimed at people there. Fri 18: Seen on a black Land Rover Defender in Tottenham, the numberplate MU51CTV. I looked to see if Simon Cowell or anybody famous in the world of music TV was driving, but the man at the wheel rang no bells.
Sat 19: Speaking of numberplates, I spotted an impossible combination on a Citroen Spacetourer in Sydenham. PSD7BKS just cannot be real. I did some checking and a) it should be PS07BKS, b) Citroen have recalled the vehicle, c) the vehicle's never had an MOT despite being six years old. I do hope the owners eventually get caught out. Sun 20: Do people not carry pens any more? Up the far end of the District line a large man in a suit leant over and asked if he could borrow mine, then jotted something down, then handed it back. I also came to the rescue during Open House when a woman wanted her book purchase signed by the author and nobody else present had a pen except me. Sorry, I bet it smudged. Mon 21: Heard at Canary Wharf station ... "Please refrain from smoking, vaping and misbehaving at all times". Wow that's vague. Tue 22: The library book I'm reading has just been selected for the Booker Prize shortlist, and blimey the judges are a lot braver with their choices these days. Wed 23: I was trying to work out why there was a stationary Elizabeth line train on the railway bridge over Bow Road, given it leads to the c2c line where purple trains don't go. It turns out it was a reversing procedure, a way to get off the mainline and then return to Stratford. But you really don't see that very often. Thu 24: Back in August TfL held a two week competition - essentially a raffle - to win a Golden Ticket pass for unlimited Dangleway travel. The terms and conditions said that afterwards you could email them to discover the surname and county of the winner, so I did. I won't reveal the surname, save to say it ends in 'v'. I was much more intrigued by the county which they gave as "Surrey, Greater London", despite the fact that Surrey and Greater London are administratively distinct. Everything points to the winner being a Sutton resident with 'Surrey' merely part of the postal address, not district of residence. I wonder how many times they'll bother to go. Fri 25: To celebrate living in my flat for 25 years I went out and bought a new paper lampshade to replace an aged paper lampshade, and wow that's brightened up the room.
Sat 26: In excellent news, the card reader on the southbound platform at Bow Church station now beeps again. I had been told it was muted so as not to annoy neighbouring residents, but the silence also annoyed loads of passengers who weren't sure if their card had been read or not. In equally good news, while I was in Spain someone wiped off the layer of white muck that had obscured the display for months, hurrah. Sun 27: Went to Harrow to buy next year's diary from Ryman, like I always do. Was shocked to see the shop had closed and was being turned into a Wingstop! Thankfully they've opened a new store across the arcade, and blimey it looks unnervingly modern inside. My farewell line "see you next year" always gets a laugh. Mon 28: Back in March the evil accountants at Cadbury reduced the number of bars in a Double Decker multipack from 9 to 7, which was essentially a 29% price rise overnight. In unexpected news they've just changed the number again, but this time up from a 7-pack to an 8-pack. It still costs £3 so that's 14% cheaper, hurrah (but still 13% dearer than last year, boo). Sometimes it seems shrinkflation goes the other way. Tue 29: Further signs of gentrification in Stroudley Walk - the back of the phone booth is displaying an advert for Waitrose. (also, credibly cool cafe Posted has just reopened after a 15 month 'temporary closure', hurrah) Wed 30: I have managed to unlock the PIN to my debit card, phew, and it only took three visits to Santander branches to spot the special button off the edge of the cashpoint homescreen. (if you ever want a Santander with no queue, try Cheapside)
Mon 28: When I went to make my first cuppa of the day the tap spluttered to life, suggesting the water supply had been off overnight, but thankfully it powered back into action and I got my hot mug. Mon 28: Annoyed that it took me four goes to guess today's Daily Metro, I should definitely have got it in three. Mon 28:[gets on scales] A month ago I mentioned I'd put on three pounds during my holiday in Spain and it hadn't shifted. It still hasn't, indeed the last time I weighed this much was April 2020. I've decided not to buy any chocolate biscuits in Tesco this morning to see if that helps. Mon 28: My blogpost on Reading's Bayeux Tapestry has been picked up by the Hacker News aggregator portal and as a result has had thousands of extra readers. Amongst the comments are the inevitable "As an aside, I see that this blog has been around from early 2000s, and has been regularly updated, almost every day. Quite fascinating...", also "Jesus, you're not wrong. Click any random month from the last 20 years and there's a post from practically every day", also "Out of interest, how do people find these 'hidden gem' sites? I'd never find these from google".
Mon 28: I think that's a record for "the number of bikes I've seen ignoring the traffic lights at the Bow Roundabout over a ten second period", easily double figures. Mon 28: They've moved the mushrooms again, I wish they'd stop moving the mushrooms. Mon 28: Managed to pick up the only cucumber that didn't have a barcode on it, had to get help. Mon 28: Ah, the till wants my PIN number. Bugger I've got it wrong, maybe I mistyped. Bugger I've got it wrong again, maybe I got it round the wrong way. OK, I can't afford to get it wrong again, I'm sure it's this... bugger I've got it wrong again. Thankfully I had cash in my wallet, otherwise I'd have had to leave £40 of groceries behind. Mon 28: I think that's the first time I've ever carried five bags home from the supermarket.
Mon 28: My building society won't let me check my PIN number online, I can only do that in their app, which I don't have. Thankfully I keep a lot of paperwork, including the letter my building society sent me in 2018 with my card's new PIN number, the one they told me I should definitely destroy. Yes that's what I thought it was. Mon 28: According to the Royal Mint, their new six-colour 50p piece is "the first time Cluedo has been honoured on an official UK coin". Well of course it is you greedy desperate money-grabbers, of course it is. Mon 28: You don't have to guess where the 'tower and two trains' picture was taken. Every photo on diamondgeezer has alt text if you hover over it.
Mon 28: The local company that used to be called Jim'll Mixit, and is now just Mixit, has flyposted adverts on the hoardings that still surround the derelict gents lavatory at Bow Church. Mon 28: If'd you'd looked before you pressed the button you'd have seen there was no traffic coming so could have crossed anyway. Now the lights are going to change pointlessly in maybe 15 seconds time and inconvenience drivers, unnecessarily increasing transport entropy. Mon 28: Oh god it's the 9.45am nightmare of an entire class of schoolchildren piling into your train carriage, and suddenly that's every seat taken and several small hands clutching the pole beside you. But in this case the teachers are totally on top of things, the children are perfectly behaved and I hope they had an excellent visit somewhere in the Westminster area. Mon 28: Why do stations in west London have flower stalls outside while stations in east London never do? [rhetorical]
Mon 28: There are adverts all over the tube for a newTfLcampaign with the strapline 'The stop is just the start'. Apparently it's supported by "a multi-channel roll out across TV, OOH, cinema, social, print, digital and CRM", and agency VCCP reckon it's "by far and away some of the best work we've ever done with TfL". But I'm not sure how effectively the main message is going to hit home. “We needed to give people an emotional connection to the network that feels inspiring and inviting. By showing that every bus, Tube, train or tram stop is just the start of a new adventure or connection, we’re reminding Londoners that TfL is the key to getting out and truly experiencing the city.” I was thinking of writing a whole post about it but it's not really interesting enough.
Mon 28: Got on a Richmond train at Earl's Court because five minutes ago it had said the next train was to Wimbledon and I failed to notice they'd switched platforms. Was punished for my error when the smelly man opposite took off his shoes. Mon 28: On the bus we passed the All England Lawn Tennis Club, its 42 acres mostly inert because it's out of season. What a waste of land this is for eleven months of the year, flowering for just one. And I wondered if there are any other examples of enormous tracts of land used only briefly, seasonally, that could potentially be housing instead. Mon 28: On my Superloop journey across Sutton I listened to an interesting Radio 4 documentary about the 1976 IMF crisis. I think I was too young to understand it at the time. Denis Healey comes out of it quite well and only says 'silly billy' once. Mon 28: Picked up a London Heritage Quarter walking map at London Bridge station, which isn't even in the London Heritage Quarter, and just like Midtown the name's never going to catch on is it? Mon 28: During today's journey round London I've managed to read 80% of a best-selling hardback thriller. That's annoying because the remaining 20% isn't going to sustain me on tomorrow's journey so I'll need to take two books.
Mon 28: It's 25 years since I sold my car, which is perhaps just as well now the price of a litre of diesel has reached a record-breaking £2. It was 79p back then. Mon 28: If I keep chucking things out at this rate, I'm going to have to buy some more bin bags. Mon 28: It may not be normal to have mint sauce on fish but that's one of the benefits of living by yourself. Mon 28: I only checked my spam email because it's was a plot point in a soap opera, otherwise I might never have seen your message about the Letraset I sadly don't have. Mon 28: I enjoyed watching the first episode of Michael Palin's new travel documentary on Channel 5, in which he travels across the nefarious inequality of the Philippines archipelago. He has a knack of illuminating both the good and bad sides of an unfamiliar country without appearing judgemental. Nobody else would get a tour of the presidential palace simply because the president wanted to ask a question about the Fish Slapping Dance.
Mon 28: Disappointed that nobody left a comment pointing out that if Flamsted Avenue in Tokyngton really is named after a west Hertfordshire village, they spelt it wrong. Mon 28: Excited to report that the naff Brent climate change video I linked to yesterday has had 40 extra views, on top of the 163 it had in the first 15 years. Mon 28: Please don't leave a comment telling me that PIN Number is an example of Redundant Acronym Syndrome. I know it is but I chose to write it anyway, just like I sometimes deliberately write less when you'd prefer me to write fewer, because in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter.
For my 20th unsung suburb I'm off to a classic of the genre, a true "where on earth is that it sounds ridiculous why have I not heard of it before?" And yet it's a substantial neighbourhood in a world famous location, as a large white arch attests, also real enough to appear on official yellow fingerposts so it definitely exists, QED.
Tokyngton is essentially the areadue south of Wembley Stadium, which residents can't easily get to because there's a railway in the way. It's bounded to the east by the River Brent, to the south by the Bakerloo line and to the west by Wembley town centre. The name means 'the farm of the sons of Toca' and was first recorded in the 12th century, with a chapel and manor house following in the 13th and 14th. Tokyngton Manor's estate once stretched as far as Kingsbury and Kilburn, later contracting into Oakington Farm, an arable concern covering 300 acres. Even by the start of WW1 the sole buildings in the area were the farm and its gatehouse on the Harrow Road, after which a magic wand was waved and 2500 homes appeared instead, so comprehensively that almost nothing's been built in Tokyngton since WW2. It pretty much all looks like this.
This is Oakington Manor Drive, one of the estate's major spine roads, lined by endless semis and run-together semis which look like they've come straight from the Metro-land handbook. The impetus to develop the land instead came from a different railway, the Chiltern Main Line, which carved through in 1906 only narrowly avoiding the farm buildings. The lord of the manor then sold his land to Wembley council with the intention of developing a ‘garden city’ estate, stipulating that the former farmstead should become the heart of its main park. You might even want to use it as a library, he said, but they disagreed and by 1939 the part-Tudor building was so dilapidated that the ARP used it for air raid practice and destroyed it with explosives. You'd never get away with that today.
The site of the manor house is now occupied by Tokyngton Community Centre, a lowly hut that's home to a Montessori school during the week and Destiny House International at weekends. The remainder of the triangular park is easily large enough for kickabouts, basketball and supposedly a substantial wildflower meadow, although it's impossible to confirm the latter in September. Amusingly the football area has been bedecked with pictures of England captains, just in case the sight of Wembley's arch immediately behind isn't sufficiently inspirational. Step away from the trees and the elevated location offers views of a distant skyline including Hampstead, the BT Tower and the Shard, so it's easy to imagine how this might have been a strategic summit in medieval times. And yet on my visit there was absolutely nobody else here, only latecomers heading into church, because old school recreation can no longer compete with the brazen commercialism on offer immediately across the railway line at Wembley Park.
But mostly Tokyngton looks like this. Broad avenues, bay windows, Mock Tudor gables, sloping tiles, shrubbery, off-road parking, satellite dishes, extended porches, occasional pebbledash and house after house after house. The pattern is broken only a lofty redbrickchurch added in 1933, a primary school surrounded by a ring of back gardens and a health centre where the library used to be. The street past St Michael the Archangel is wider than all the rest, while further downhill one short street is actually called Wembley Way. Signs of life include a pile of lager cans on Park View suggesting some serious drinking went down last night, also padding cats, also pensioners from the subcontinent heading home with spicy shopping. Brent has Britain's highest proportion of residents born outside the UK and Tokyngton ward is comfortably above the borough average, such is Wembley's demographic transition since these streets were laid.
Tokyngton's eastern perimeter is marked by a half-mile linear park, through which flows the culverted River Brent. Originally the top end was called Tokyngton Recreation Ground and the lower end Monks Park but it's all since been rebranded as Brent River Park. One information board at the southern end includes my favourite excruciating outdoor cartoon, a six-panel account of a video about wind power and climate change made by a local youth group in 2011. The vinyl's peeling slightly now but most of the speech bubbles are alas still legible ("I'm So Excited To Meet The Brent Youth Volunteers And This River Park Is The Perfect Place", "It's Great To Reuse These Plastic Bottles And Create Mini Wind Turbines" "Have You Heard About The London Array?"). The final panel includes an exhortation to watch their video on YouTube, which I see has only had 163 views in the last 15 years, and rarely I have seen something so well-meaningly pointless.
The sole pre-20th century survivor hereabouts is the Harrow Road, still a key northwestern artery and still undulating up towards New-Wembley-Flats-on-the-Hill. The manor's former gatehouse is long gone, its location marked by a very short row of shops that goes grilled chicken/betting shop/minimarket/launderette. Tokyngton's main shops fill a typically 30s parade closer to the North Circular, bookended by a ghost sign for a shoe shop that must have moved out decades ago. Amidst the usual takeaways are specialists in Pakistani, Afghan and Goan cuisine, also two Brazilian butchers and a shisha cubbyhole. Apparently a lot of people call this end Monks Park rather than Tokyngton, or even Stonebridge Park given that's what the adjacent Bakerloo line station is called.
Tokyngton's sole tall building can be found here beside the dual carriageway, a 22-storey 1960s office block called Wembley Point. It's since been rebranded Wem Tower, now that what it contains is 439 contemporary micro-apartments as part of a "new vertical living concept", not that open plan hutches and high service charges are especially original.
A separate stripe of Tokyngton runs south of Harrow Road, hemmed in on the far side by the Wembley Brook and an enormous rail depot. Its main spine road is called Tokyngton Avenue and looks just like the rest of the neighbourhood except slightlymore downmarket, suggesting it got built second. Here the semis run together in fours or sixes, the gables aren't quite so angled and the builders didn't try quite so hard with the bay windows. Nine of the sidestreets are named after west Hertfordshire towns and villages (Aldbury, Berkhamsted, Bovingdon, Flamsted, Gaddesden, Nettleden, Northchurch, Tring and Wiggington) but my favourites are the two that aren't. These are Sylvia Gardens and Derek Avenue, a dated pair that conjure up unanswered questions every time I see them. Who were Sylvia and Derek, were they married, were they perhaps related to the builder or developer and did they ever see themselves immortalised in an address? Answers on a postcard please.
It may not be the most thrilling of suburbs but one thing binds all of Tokyngton together and that's living in the Wembley Stadium events parking zone. Signs on every street warn that only permit holders can park here between 10am and midnight on event days, otherwise you risk being towed away. Residents can buy up to three permits per household, they cost £15 and are valid for 15 years. Obviously the system's gone paperless, but if you insist on paying by cash you can turn up at the car pound in North Wembley and hand over your notes there. Currently the only event days on the list are 2nd October for England v Czechia and 16th October for the arrival of the Jacksonville Jaguars, but it's up to you to check. It's not just the white arch that looms over Tokyngton, so does the intermittent inability to park outside your own house.
n.b. This is not today's intended post, but I didn't manage to get to the seaside yesterday.
Yesterday I found myself in Pratt's Bottom, the most hilarious of Bromley's outlying villages. It has a pub called The Bull's Head, a church called All Souls, a short parade of shops including World of Sewing and a bus every hour and a quarter. It's also unusual in that part of the village is in London and part isn't, thanks to suburban development whose boundaries didn't matter so much when all this was Kent.
Specifically I found myself in Turnpike Drive, a postwar cul-de-sac set back parallel to the main Sevenoaks Road. And what's really unusual about Turnpike Drive is that some of its residents live in London and some live in Kent. There are hardly any cul-de-sacs with London and non-London residents, even though the Greater London boundary is over 250 miles long.
The entrance to the cul-de-sac is in Kent. The road it bears off is called Stonehouse Road, which beyond this point is private and has a sign to tell you so. It has houses called Cobblecroft, Colts Wood and Copperkins, whereas Turnpike Drive just has numbered bungalows, 36 in total. Seven of these are in Kent and the remainder are in Bromley, that's how divided this cul-de-sac is. I checked and it does indeed have two bin days, the Kent end every Friday and the Bromley end every other Monday.
Here's the London end and you can see how generic the bungalows are. Nothing particularly changes up this end, the lampposts are still the same and the pavements are similarly paved, also I suspect if you hang around long enough the same number of curtains twitch. But numbers 5 to 31 all have a Labour mayor while 1-4 and 32-34 are overseen by a Reform county council because lines on maps matter and this one splits the street.
The reason for the divide is an old footpath which once cut diagonally across the field that used to exist here. On one side was Orpington Urban District and on the other side Sevenoaks Rural District, or at least it was in the 1950s when Turnpike Drive was built. The footpath survives as a signposted bridleway, arriving up an alleyway between 6 and 7 and continuing down another alleyway between 31 and 32. If you've ever walked the Green Street Green Circular Walk you'll have crossed Turnpike Drive about halfway round, and if you haven't you've probably never been.
n.b. There was once a turnpike at Pratt's Bottom, it being a waypoint on the main road from London to Hastings, now the A21. But Turnpike Drive isn't on the site of the turnpike, that was nearer to the Esso garage, so it's not particularly well named.
I wondered precisely how rare a part-London cul-de-sac was, so I scanned all around the Greater London boundary to see how many I could find. I make it three. Here's another.
This is Mountview in Northwood, 30 miles away on the opposite side of the capital. It's a short cul-de-sac of 22 houses just south of NATO's Allied Maritime Command at Northwood Headquarters. Again it started out as a field crossed by an ancient footpath, originally left empty when the avenues of Metroland were built all around. Then in the 1960s a small enclave of more upmarket houses was squeezed in, the boundaries of the site forcing the road to start in London and end in Hertfordshire.
There are thus nine properties in the London borough of Hillingdon before the cul-de-sac bends across the boundary to service 13 homes in the district of Three Rivers. Again bin days are different, the Hillingdon houses weekly on a Monday and the Herts houses fortnightly on a Tuesday. There is another split cul-de-sac a little further west along Eastbury Avenue, that's Little Stream Close, but all the houses are at the Hertfordshire end so that doesn't count for today's purposes.
The third split cul-de-sac is Grovewood Place, Woodford IG8. Here five of the 26 houses are in London and the rest are in Essex. I don't have a photo of that, sorry, I just happened to have the Northwood one from a previous post.
There are perhaps 20 cul-de-sacs where the London boundary is at the beginning, not in the middle, so either everyone lives inside the capital or everyone lives outside it. These include Amanda Close in Hainault, Audley Drive in Hamsey Green, The Coppice in Joydens Wood and Gable Close in Dartford.
But I believe there are only three cul-de-sacs where some residents can vote for London's Mayor and some can't.
• Turnpike Drive (Pratt's Bottom BR6): 29 homes London, 7 homes Kent [81%/19%]
• Mountview (Northwood HA6): 9 homes London, 13 homes Herts [41%/59%]
• Grovewood Place (Woodford IG8): 5 homes London, 21 homes Essex [19%/81%]
And Turnpike Drive in Pratt's Bottom is the Londoniest of the lot.
update
» Stonehouse Road, the aforementioned private road adjacent to Turnpike Drive, is another split cul-de-sac with 9 out of 50 homes in London and the rest in Kent.
» By using the Wayback Machine I've unearthed a copy of the 1991 Boundary Commission report which considered realigning the boundary between Bromley and Kent. It concluded that the entirety of Turnpike Drive and Stonehouse Road should be united in Bromley, even following strong objections from Kent County Council, Sevenoaks District Council, Halstead Parish Council and local residents. However by the time plans were finalised in a 1993 Act of Parliament the changes had been substantially downgraded to "minor realignments in the vicinity of Stonehouse Road, Sevenoaks Road and Turnpike Drive", hence the two cul-de-sacs remain divided.
» Oaks Way (Surbiton) wasn't strictly a cul-de-sac so I've removed it from the list.
07:00 I have woken up and brewed a cup of tea. 08:00 I have bought a newspaper and am off to catch a train to the seaside. 08:15 I am at the ticket office trying to buy my ticket. I want to use a Delay Pay Rail Travel Voucher to pay most of the fare. The man behind the counter tries scanning it several times, also asks his colleague for advice, also looks in his folder for advice, also rings someone up for advice, also the colleague tries to scan it at her terminal instead, thereby holding up the queue for five minutes, but everything fails to apply the discount. 08:20 OK, I'll try at another station. 08:40 I am a different ticket office trying to buy my ticket. I still want to use a Delay Pay Rail Travel Voucher because otherwise it'll cost four times as much. The woman behind the counter tries tapping all sorts of things on her terminal, thereby holding up the queue for five minutes, but everything fails to apply the discount. 08:45 OK, I give up. 09:00 I am back home with a cup of tea, having failed to catch a train to the seaside. 10:00 I have applied for a refund for my travel voucher, but it's all a bit late now.
-----END-----
Last week I told you that a wedge of raised tarmac on Stratford High Street had been removed, immediately adjacent to the contraflow beneath the flyover that's never been opened. "All it needs now is a repaint," I said.
Well, that repaint has now happened. I know it may not look like it because the arrow and hatched area are still visible, but unwanted white lines are hard to get rid of.
Previously all eastbound traffic leaving the Bow Roundabout was funnelled into a single lane, leaving space for a contraflow on the right. We now have two eastbound lanes helping traffic flow faster, and as a result the contraflow lane has ceased to exist.
Previously the eastbound lane and contraflow were separated by a double white line but that's been erased and replaced by a single dashed line instead. This stretches all the way up to Marshgate Lane, beyond which it was always two eastbound lanes anyway.
This all sounds great but there are three catches:
i) Bus Stop W at Marshgate Lane is undergoing lengthy roadworks, so a few metres further on all traffic has to funnel down to one lane to get past. The kerfuffle includes "kerbing and paving works, bus island construction, cycle lane construction, resurfacing and temporary island removal" and is expected to continue for another month. ii) Newham council are planning some sort of bus priority project along Stratford High Street. This might well mean the left-hand lane is nabbed for buses only, leaving just one lane for all other traffic again. iii) Removal of the contraflow lane may only be an 18 month trial implemented via an Experimental Traffic Management Order, after which Newham will make a decision either to revert or "to convert to legal permanency".
But it does look ever more certain that the contraflow lane is dead and the new road under the flyover will never open, despite having been built at great expense, thus everyone who dug it, fitted traffic lights to it and paid for it has completely wasted their time.
Sometimes you just want to go for a nice walk, nothing too taxing, oodles of horticultural variety, outstanding architecture, glamorous vistas, top quality sculpture, regular refreshment opportunities, all continents included, occasional carnivorous plants, contour-free, royally approved, directly on the Heathrow flightpath, a bit of a stroll, won't take long. So here's a mile across a World Heritage Site in Kew, potentially enough to make a day of it and a nice walk all the same. [map]
Kew Gardens has evolved since 1759 into possibly the world's finest botanical collection, now with over 50,000 species across 330 riverside acres. Getting in's not cheap so this might not be for you, but it's only £10 on Tuesdays for the rest of the year so technically an autumnal bargain. For this nice walk I'm essentially heading down the eastern side, parallel to Kew Road, starting near the Elizabeth Gate and ending near the pagoda. This means missing out on the Great Badger Sett, Redwood Grove, Lake Crossing, Rhododendron Dell and Kew Palace, but you can always meander that way on your walk back.
Let's start by the Alpine House, a thin glass wedge whose rockeries are packed with tiny resilient plants, one of which (the arum pictum) is currently flowering with a supposedly foul odour. Enjoy the many flowers because there aren't a lot left across the gardens, especially out of doors, as summer turns to autumn. Or let's start in the Carbon Garden, a new project opened last year and recognisable by a central weird wooden mushroom thing in the centre of some stripy beds. The idea is to educate and inform but my word it's dry, not just the favoured arid plants but also the information boards that even a school party seemed uninterested in. Or start at the Hive, a metal lattice sculpture that quietly buzzes, best experienced from inside and best photographed from underneath. Or start in the Kitchen Garden, the Evolution Garden or the Aquatic Garden, indeed just potter around awhile because they've tucked a lot of interest into this northeastern corner and we won't be coming back.
For a proper debut let's go inside the Princess of Wales Conservatory, a stepped glasshouse opened by Diana the day before her 6th wedding anniversary. It has ten temperature-controlled zones all accessed through swing doors, the humidity climbing noticeably as you enter the central tropics. Not only is it packed with ferns, cacti and all manner of leafy fronds, but it's also a top-class maze with multiple up-and-down passageways to explore. Head up and you should find real-life Madagascar, head down and you might find a really fat white fish swimming opposite the building's architectural awards. I will say it's less fun when a secondary school party is exploring all around you, then two teachers arrive with primary crocodiles wielding worksheets, so maybe best explore at the weekend (or after 3pm when their coaches have left).
Exit at the lower end by the Paolozzi sculpture, a half-cyborg mix titled A Maximis Ad Minima. They like their outdoor sculptures at Kew and it's especially blessed at present with two dozen chunky Henry Moores scattered around the place. The closest to here are three Upright Motives, but there'll be some far lumpier specimens as we continue, some even stand-underable. Cut across the lawn to find the Broad Walk, its 320m-long beds believed to be the longest herbaceous borders in the country. You could learn about taxonomy because they've all been planted in groups, or you could simply admire the plants (the monocots are still ablaze). But sorry about the Waterlily House, it's 175 years old so they're replacing all 1546 glass panes and improving step-free access so it's all behind hoardings 'til next spring, dammit.
Next on Kew's major maintenance list is the famous Palm House, a massive glasshouse the length of a football pitch which in 1848 was the world's first large-scale wrought iron structure. It's due to close next spring for five years of extensive renovation, indeed the gardeners have already shifted several specimens to large pots and removed a substantial number, leaving empty beds and deep holes. For now it's still possible to wander round the sweaty interior past a variety of towering stems, crossing continents in minutes and learning a lot of Latin names on the way. My favourite part remains the spiral staircase that climbs to a high walkway, one-way only, where you can explore the canopy in greater detail and also get a good idea of why ironwork maintenance might be a good idea. Visit soon or miss out on one of Kew's best bits until 2032.
The flower terrace between the Palm House and the lake is still looking spectacular, almost as if it's been designed to peak in mid-September after every other bed has faded. Aim for the tall brick tower that looks like an Italian campanile but is in fact a disguised chimney for the boilers that used to heat the Palm House. This is located by the Victoria Gate, the gardens' chief entrance from which the chuggy land train sets off every hour. Hordes of cultured white-haired types pour through the barriers here every morning, return for tea and cakes mid-afternoon and shop for cuttings before they go home. Rest assured the Henry Moore teatowels are hole-free.
The most interesting route to the next glasshouse is via the Mediterranean Garden. It's not entirely European, it covers anywhere with a Mediterranean climate, thus at present Chile is looking a lot dazzlier than California atop the mound. The temple in the centre with the Tuscan porticos was added by Queen Victoria in memory of her uncle William IV, and was erected within months of her accession. The Cherry Walk is six months off looking spectacular, but follow that and you'll reach the glass door at the near end of the Temperate House. In good news this has already been renovated, they finished in 2018, so is a sparklingreceptacle for gum trees, tubers, cycads and hundreds of thankfully-labelled tall green things. Reading one board I leaned that some plants here are so rare that they could have been lost in a single landslide, and that only one specimen of New Zealand's Three Kings Vine survived the introduction of a few grazing goats. Inform, educate and entertain.
You could at this point deviate to the TreetopWalkway, a steel circuit erected high amongst the trees in 2008. There is a lift but I walked up all 108 steps before confirming that yes, you can see central London across the canopy and yes, even the horse chestnuts at Kew are suffering from premature leaf miner shrivelling. Or you could deviate in the opposite direction to the Galley of Botanical Art, although it's mostly full of Henry Moore collateral at present so not very flowery. Or there's the nearby Pavilion Bar and Grill, very much not one of the Garden's original buildings, where people tired of plant-spotting can settle with a ploughmans sharing platter or spend the equivalent of their entrance fee on a plate of fish and chips and a glass of white wine. But if you want to restrict your nice walk to one mile best not deviate, head straight on to the Far East.
The Japanese Landscape was completed in 1996 and the tea garden has to include a lot of signs saying Please Do Not Walk On The Gravel so visitors don't blunder through. Its centrepiece is the 16th century Gateway of the Imperial Messenger, although this is a four-fifths scale model created for the Japan-British Exhibition held at White City in 1910. Much more obvious is Kew's classic pagoda, a ten-storey landmark erected within a couple of years of the Gardens original opening and bedecked with 80 beautifully restored dragons. It's now under the management of Historic Royal Palaces and they charge £4.50 to climb to the top, this time with no lift so it could be a tiring end to your nice walk. And yes obviously I know none of you will ever follow this precise route, it's more an illustration of the riches to be had within a single mile at the absolute treasure which is Kew Gardens, now in its 267th year and still going strong.
