20 years ago I went to Orlando in Florida and spent a week at Walt Disney World Resort. I started my diary-based reminiscences yesterday, backed up with a handful of appallingly-taken photos. Today I'll finish off the trip... and OMG, look where I was 20 years ago today.
Wednesday 9th August 2000:Animal Kingdom
Started the day with pancakes and sausage again, because never mess with a successful combination. Today's target was Disney's Animal Kingdom, a jumped-up safari park opened two years previously with a huge fibreglass Tree of Life at its centre. Several of the staff were wearing pith helmets, which must at least have been cooler than dressing as Tigger. Our first stop was the Kilimanjaro Safari, a truck ride round a pseudo-savannah in search of roaming animals. I wasted almost all of the day's photos on this jaunt, including a blurry cheetah, the top half of a hippo, half a dozen askew giraffes and a few pixels that might be a lion. The elephant-poaching finale felt over-scripted, and I see they've dropped that since.
In Safari Village we were squirted by water during the A Bug's Life special effects experience. In Asia we got wetter riding a twirling ring on the Kali River Rapids. In Dinoland the animatronic ride ended with a jolt from a cataclysmic meteor. But we didn't find enough here to last the whole day, so it was off to the scattered malls on International Drive where I bought some clothes my nephews and niece have long since grown out of. And in the evening we went back to Downtown Disney... where I was refused entry to the entertainment zone on Pleasure Island because I looked under 30 (oh America!), so we went back to the cinema instead.
Thursday 10th August 2000:Disney-MGM Studios
Started the day with pancakes and sausage again, because grits, biscuits and gravy did not appeal. Set off early for Disney's movie wonderland, a co-production with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer which meant certain films didn't get a look in. First we rushed across to the Star Wars ride, which I soon spotted was exactly the same as the ride at Disneyland Paris. Chris insisted we visit the Muppets 3D Cinema so I got my own back by insisting we did the lengthy backlot tour afterwards, including a tramride past the bangs and whooshes of Catastrophe Canyon. I'm sure I've seen New York Street as a setting in numerous TV shows and movies since, or maybe that's just a measure of how good the illusion was.
On the Magic of Animation Tour we walked past desks where actual Disney and Pixar animators were working. The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular didn't prove especially Epic from the very back row of the auditorium. The Great Movie Ride featuring tons of classic clips benefited greatly from a cheery camp commentary. I totally refused to enter to Tower of Terror for a 13-storey lift drop, a decision I still stand by. To secure a seat for the after-dark Fantasmic performance we booked dinner at the Brown Derby restaurant, where lasagne, steak and a sundae were served with haste for a whopping $95. Heavy rain later made getting round the park unpleasant, but had thankfully cleared by the time Mickey Mouse walked out onto his fiery island to battle an angry dragon.
Friday 11th August 2000:Universal Studios
Started the day with pancakes and sausage, plus a cinnamon bun for a touch of variety. Having completed the big four Disney parks it was time to try Universal's offering, which meant another day themed around big movies. It also meant an additional $49 entrance fee plus $7 for parking. We parked our convertible in the multi-storey with Superman painted on the outside, then swapped our vehicle for a DeLorean on the excellent Back To The Future ride. I also gave top marks to a subway journey during an earthquake, a Terminator-themed ride with a cyber-hostess and an excursion on Amity beach with a 'surprise' shark. The brand new Men In Black glorified shoot-em-up thrilled me less.
It wasn't just movies, because Dick Dastardly got a look-in on the Hanna-Barbera experience, but it was mostly movies (King Kong, tick; Alfred Hitchcock, tick; The Blues Brothers, tick). I can't remember who I bought the Muttley polo shirt for, but I no longer have it. For a meal we stopped off at Finnegan's Bar & Grill whose 'traditional Irish-American food' included a Devonshire burger with fries. And eventually we headed back to the hotel, stopping on the way so I could buy a 69ยข pack of cinnamon Tic Tacs and Chris could buy some Chips Ahoy cookies. I have no idea how much weight we put on that week, but the very best diet of all was flying home.
Saturday 12th August 2000:Kennedy Space Center
Hell yes. One of the joys of a hired Chrysler convertible was the ability to drive across the state to NASA'scoastallaunchpad. We filled up with $70 of petrol and then sped sedately along the tollway through a flat landscape of lakes and trees. We would have enjoyed Mix 105.1 more had its ad breaks not been seven minutes long. Unfortunately, being the weekend, the queues for the Space Center's car park were very long and we were later getting inside than we'd hoped. Our Maximum Access pass afforded us a three hour tour, much of it by coach, past launchpads where space history had taken place.
Alas I have absolutely no photos of the place, despite the fact I know we took several, nor indeed much visual memory of anything we saw outdoors. But my diary confirms our coach had to pull over while a giant payload passed us by, and that we stood on the LC-39 Observation Gantry to gawp at Space Shuttle launchpads (until an approaching thunderstorm forced us back down). I do remember the Saturn V rocket lying flat inside the Apollo Center and how mindbogglingly massive it was, and how I couldn't find anything worth buying in the shop, but looking back 20 years later I have a NASA-sized hole in my memory and that's a massive shame.
For our last night in Florida we went to Downtown Disney, again, where Planet Hollywood served up a bland burger with excessively huge onion rings. I panicked in the gift shop and bought my parents an entirely unnecessary Mickey Mouse vase, which they dutifully placed on a shelf and dusted regularly. Then we went to the cinema, again, to watch Scary Movie (appropriately on Screen 13). And at the end of the night Chris drove us to the far side of the resort's car park so I could make a fuss of being the furthest south I've ever been in my life. The moon looked wrong because its horns were pointing at an unfamiliar angle.
Sunday 13th August 2000:Orlando → Gatwick
Had pancakes and sausage for the seventh consecutive day. We checked out at 10 but had an evening flight, so most of Sunday was wasted filling time. The car got drenched just before we returned it because we'd left the top down while we checked in our cases. Alas we didn't get upgraded to Upper Class on the flight home, but that did at least mean a different coloured goodie bag. It was a joy to be served a piece of chicken that wasn't coated in something, and to remind ourselves of the existence of vegetables. And yes, the UK felt very different as we emerged into a mild misty morning at Gatwick.
I'm glad I went and got to experience the American Dream writ large. I feel I fully ticked off Walt Disney World but without ever seeing the proper Florida. I have never splurged quite so much money in a single week on top of the cost of travel and accommodation. I apologise to my sister-in-law who's always wanted to go but never has. And I'd be pleased never to go anywhere near the place again.
