Central London now has an IKEA, right beside Oxford Circus where Top Shop used to be. It opened on Thursday, a balloon-infested occasion attended by the Mayor because he's very keen to see Oxford Street full of successful businesses again. It brings the number of IKEA stores in London back to five following the closure of the Tottenham megashed in 2022. But how big is it and should you bother visiting and do they do meatballs and why would anyone come here for a new wardrobe rather than drive to Neasden?
It's a very deceptive store because you expect it's going to fill all the floors you can see but this is not the case, almost all of it's in the basement. All you get inside the entrance on the ground floor is a brief scattering of products and three displays showcasing colourful collections curated by a bloke called Alfonso, a young family and a drag artist called Carrot. If all you want is fried egg duvet covers and 50p apple scented candles you need go no further. But realistically you need to go downstairs, or rather downescalators, to explore two unexpectedly large floors of quintessential IKEAness. I don't remember either Top Shop or Top Man stretching two levels down, which might help explain why this has been an extensive much delayed fitout.
The lower ground floor hosts the Showroom area and the Swedish Deli. The cafe is straight on and the maze of goods requires turning right, both of which I think could have been better signed. Feel free to pick up a bag to collect your purchases or one of the strange tuggy yellow basket things. Once you set off on the circuit it should all look very familiar, a wiggly path weaving past all sorts of tempting displays showing how IKEA products could transform your living area, bedroom or gaming dungeon with chairs, wardrobe units and a choice of table lamps. Everything's mixed up so you might be looking at the £235 shower units but be tempted by a 75p soap holder. Shelf lovers can be reassured of the existence of a Billy corner. And golly it goes on a bit, just like a real IKEA in the suburbs does, although there is a signposted shortcut partway round enabling premature escape.
It's hard to squeeze a full-sized cafe into a Central London basement so they haven't, just a 130-seater with a limited menu, but the signature meatballs are on the shortlist along with salmon fillet and cinnamon buns. At £6.95 for a plate of battered haddock this is suddenly Central London's cheapest decent fish and chips. Near the entrance a member of staff was explaining the ordering system to prospective diners ("If you haven't got the app you go and touch the screens over there"), and that'll be why the end of the hot food counter has an Argos-style display to announce the readiness of mobile orders. Don't expect a seat at weekends.
Level -2 houses the Market Hall, another subterranean labyrinth, this time full of smaller stuff piled high. As a regular IKEA visitor you'll already know this, just won't be expecting it in a sub-basement bang in the middle of town. Stock up on 75p plates, £2 bath towels, £7 plant pots and the obligatory Glimma tealights (100 for £4), all of which are easily carried home. There's also recognition that a central London audience probably wants different things to homeowners in the shires, so for example one display with a tiny table and chairs encourages city dwellers to "celebrate the little moments with a balcony drink". A small self-service furniture area exists before the tills, but realistically that flatpack bedside table won't be heading back to yours unless you pay £30 for delivery.
There's nothing new here at IKEA Oxford Circus, you can already bag a SMÅSTAD in Greenwich or a FRÖVÄXT in Hammersmith. This is more a statement of intent, staking a claim in the heart of the West End in recognition that Londoners love an 'experience', so why not flog them household fittings on the way round. The risk to IKEA is that footfall doesn't pay their sky-high rent, and the risk to your pocket is that you'll pass so many "oh, we could really do with that"s on the way round that you'll leave laden with a houseful.
